All I Want For Christmas
by kyla713
Summary: Bella's five year old son makes a Christmas wish she'd never expected, and sets her entire world spinning. Written for the Fandom for Preemies compilation. AH.
1. Chapter 1

**A/n: This is a little one-shot that I wrote for the Fandom for Preemies compilation in November, and now I'm posting to share all of you. Hope you enjoy.**

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_**All I Want For Christmas**_

"Morning, baby. What are you asking Santa for this year?" Bella asked as she entered the kitchen to find her son, Mikey, making out his Christmas list.

"It's a secret," he replied quickly, shielding the sheet of paper with his arms when she leaned down to kiss the top of his head. "Don't look!"

She chuckled softly and made her way to the coffee pot to get her morning fully started. "Sorry, won't happen again."

"Well," he sighed, his face twisting in contemplation. "I guess I can tell you, since it's for you, too."

Bella thought over her son's words, even more suspicious to the contents of the list. "Michael Evan, I have told you a hundred times that we are not getting a dog. We don't have the space in this apartment," she scolded in a firm voice, shaking her head and waiting for the pleading to begin.

"Mom," he groaned, his head falling back dramatically and causing his blond mop of hair to bounce lightly with the movement. "I know. I'm not asking for a dog."

"Oh. I see," she replied, surprised. "So, what is it?"

Mikey turned in his seat to look at her with an expression on his face she'd never seen. "A daddy."

Bella's mug slipped from her hands and onto the floor, startling both her and the little boy. She closed her eyes to force back the tears that were beginning to form, fought the tightening of her throat and chest.

"Mommy?" he asked with a furrowed brow, gazing at her worriedly.

Bella's eyes returned to him and she focused on her breathing, calming herself as her therapist had taught her to in moments of severe anxiety. Forcing a smile to her lips, she stepped over the shattered ceramic and puddle of black coffee, walking toward Mikey and kneeling down in front of him. "A-a daddy?"

He nodded, his blue eyes suddenly lowering shyly. "Yeah, like all the other kids got."

Bella took his hands gently, running her thumbs over the backs. "Baby, you have a daddy, even if he's not here anymore."

"My dad's dead, Mom," he snapped, pulling his hands from hers and taking her aback with the ferocity in the five year old voice.

"Mikey," Bella stammered slightly, her hands resting gently on his sides. "We don't talk like that here. Where did you hear that?"

His shoulders rose in a shrug, his eyes lowered to the floor. "School. They laugh at me 'cause I don't have a daddy anymore."

Bella's heart broke as she watched his lower lip begin to tremble and tears spill over his lids and down his cheeks. She pulled him into her arms as she stood while his clung around her neck, lifting him off the floor and settling him into her lap. She gently rocked him while sobs wracked his tiny body, smoothing her hand over his hair. "Daddy is always here, honey. Even if you can't see him or touch him, he's still watching over you. And he loves you so much."

"I can't remember him, Mommy," he cried softly in response with his head resting on her shoulder.

"Oh sweetheart," she mumbled sadly against his hair as she pressed her lips against it. "Why don't we go to the park today? Would you like that?"

His eyes rose to hers and he nodded slowly, nestling himself back against her chest while she reached into her pocket for her cell phone to call in to work.

**x-x-x**

"He told me he wants a dad for Christmas," she said quietly, staring down at her coffee from Starbucks that Edward had picked up on the way to meet her. The heat from the cup warmed her hands as she watched the clouds of breath escape her lips. "I don't know what to say. What _can_ I say?"

Edward leaned forward on his knees with his elbows from his seat on the bench beside her, watching Mikey packing snow between his hands and tossing it at the tree in front of him. Since the day her husband – and his best friend –died in combat in Iraq, he had been a near constant fixture in her and her son's life. They'd made a pact when they were both stationed overseas together just before Bella had given birth, that if anything should happen, Edward would take care of Bella and Mikey to the best of his ability.

"Well," he started, turning his head toward her. "What do you _want_ to say?"

"I don't know," Bella replied with a shrug, looking down at her feet. "Honestly, I'd like to say there's a possibility, that there's some hope. But I've never lied to my son and I'm not about to start with something as major as this."

"Why would it be a lie? Do you really feel there's no hope whatsoever? Ever?" he asked gently, patiently – as Edward always was.

"I still love him," she said tearfully, her eyes lifting to his. "It's been three years since Michael died, and I'm _still_ not over him. I don't know that I ever will be."

Edward straightened beside her and wrapped his arms around her shoulders, pulling her toward him to rest her head on his shoulder as she cried. His hand ran along her arm slowly from her shoulder to her elbow, comforting her while the sobs shook her body. "No one ever expects you to, Bella. He was your husband and your son's father, not to mention your first love. But if there's one thing I know about Mike Newton, it's that he would _not_ have wanted you or his son to be alone. And he definitely would _not_ want his beautiful wife to pine her life away over him."

Bella curled against his side, welcoming the warmth and comfort that Edward's presence never failed to bring, her head remaining on his shoulder as she gazed out at her son. "I know he wouldn't. It's just so hard to let go. Especially now, with the holidays coming up and all. It's the worst time to be alone."

"You won't be," he said softly and her eyes shot up suddenly to his. "My deployment's been postponed until at least after New Years because of my knee. You and Mikey can count on me."

A smile finally graced Bella's face and she slid her arms around his neck. "That's the best thing I've heard all day."

Edward embraced her for a moment, gently kissing her forehead before slowly pulling away. "And speaking of which," he said, his voice rising in volume slightly to catch the attention of the blond boy sitting by the tree. "I think I know of a certain house that's missing a tree and some lights. What are we waiting for? Christmas?"

Mikey laughed and cheered as he stood, running to Edward and leaping into his arms. It had always been a consolation to Bella that, even with Michael gone and her seeming inability to move on, her son still had someone like Edward. Aside from being his godfather, he sincerely loved the little boy and guarded him with his life, as if he were his own. And if she was being completely honest, she was exceedingly grateful for his friendship and support.

**x-x-x**

"Tada!" Mikey proudly exclaimed, waving his arm toward the tree in Edward's living room. "Whatdya think?"

Edward turned to look over his shoulder from his stance on the stepstool, where he was stringing lights along the ceiling. "Wow. That's… awesome, little guy."

"The hazards of allowing a five year old within a mile radius of tinsel," Bella whispered up to him as she passed with a large bowl of popcorn, popping a piece into her mouth with a slight smirk as she passed to sit on the couch.

The tree was a tangled mass of silver, with scattered ornaments circling the lower half of its branches. As Bella began poking the white puffs with a needle and string, she watched an amused smile spread across Edward's lips as he stepped down from the stool to cross the room toward the little boy.

"Mikey, my man. How about we decorate the top of the tree now?"

"I can't reach up there, silly," he replied with his hands on his hips, rolling his eyes at Edward.

"I'm silly? You're silly," he playfully growled, leaning down to tickle his sides before lifting him up into his arms and settling him on his hip.

Bella attempted to keep the tears at bay as she observed them finishing the tree. In that moment, it was blatantly clear to her what her son felt was missing from their lives – a family. To spend hours like this decorating the tree, and then sit together on the couch and watch the twinkling lights until Mikey fell asleep, rather than packing up and going home once they were finished – the way things were back when his father was alive, everything that he was too young to remember.

"Ow!" she exclaimed as the needle in her hand pierced the skin of her thumb, her thoughts having distracted her from her task.

Both Edward and Mikey turned their heads to look to her, their facial expressions disturbingly similar with their raised brows and creased foreheads. She lowered her thumb from between her lips and refocused on the long string of popcorn piled in her lap. Hearing the two of them begin to sing along with the television, which was playing an endless stream of Christmas carols, she glanced up again and made up her mind then and there.

Come the new year, she would begin making a conscious effort to pick herself up and start moving on with her life. Edward was right; no one would expect her to forget Michael, nor would he want her to be wasting her life away. She couldn't continue to bury herself away, denying not only her son, but also herself, of a full life.

While helping Mikey into his jacket at the end of the evening, her eyes rose to Edward and she smiled. "So are we still on for tomorrow night?"

"Absolutely. I'll be there at 1700 on the dot," he replied, returning her smile as he slid on the little boy's hat.

"That's 5:00, Mommy," Mikey announced proudly with a huge grin at his mother.

Bella and Edward glanced at each other, both visibly restraining laughter before she looked back down to her son. "Yes, I know, baby. Thank you," she said, placing her hand on his shoulder and guiding him toward the door. She gave Edward one last look before he kissed her cheek good night. "See you tomorrow."

On the drive home, Mikey was uncharacteristically quiet in the backseat, staring down into his lap the entire time. He remained withdrawn as she got him ready for bed, and she was beginning to worry when he drew in a deep breath and sighed, finally looking up to meet her eyes as she was tucking him in.

"Mommy, can I ask you somethin'?"

"Of course, honey. You know you can always ask me anything," she replied in a soothing tone, watching him bite his lip nervously as she often did. She lowered herself down to sit on the edge of his bed, running her hand gently over his hair. "What's the matter?"

"Can Uncle Edward be my daddy?" he asked.

Bella's hand stalled in surprise with her sharp intake of breath. His innocent gaze reflected back at her as she looked at him and she began to shake her head. "Mikey, that's just not how it works. Mommy has to date someone first-"

"But you are! You're going on a date tomorrow night. Grandma said so," Mikey replied with a nod.

Bella released a nervous chuckle. "No, baby. Uncle Edward is going to _be _my date for the dinner I have to attend tomorrow, not going _on _a date with me."

Mikey's forehead wrinkled and he sat up, hugging his knees to his chest. "What's the difference?"

"Well," Bella started nervously, clearing her throat and trying to decide how to explain it to a five year old. "Okay, when you go _on_ a date with someone, when it's over, you usually kiss goodnight."

"But Edward always kisses you goodnight, Mommy," he replied, the crease between his eyebrows deepening in confusion.

"Edward is my friend, Mikey. And friends kiss here," she said, placing her fingertip on her cheek before moving it to her lips. "Dates kiss here."

Mikey's eyes lit up as he nodded in understanding. "Like Daddy did in the picture?"

Bella's vision went slightly blurry as her eyes misted, a sad smile touching her lips as she thought to the picture to which he was referring. It was the picture from their wedding of them kissing and staring into each other's eyes as they shared their first dance. While painful for her to look at sometimes, she couldn't bring herself to remove the photographs of Michael from the living room after he died. The house would have felt too empty without any trace of him in it. "Yeah, like Daddy in the picture."

Mikey nodded and then sighed again, laying back down and pulling the blankets up under his chin. "I wish he _could_ be my daddy. That would be _so_ cool."

Bella leaned down to kiss his forehead gently and then rose to leave the room, flipping the switch on the way out. "Goodnight, sweetheart."

Yet long after Mikey was asleep, her mind kept playing their conversation over and over again. It _would_ have been so easy for her to fall into a relationship with Edward—they knew each other well, cared about one another, and both loved Mikey more than anything in the world. But aside from only being friends, there was one minor detail that she simply could not ignore...

He was military. Not only would the Army always come first for him, but Bella simply couldn't take that chance again. She took it once, and paid the ultimate price for it—she became a widow at twenty-two years old, with a two-year-old son. And whenever she gave any thought to what her future might hold, she could only be certain of one thing.

She would never become involved with another soldier.

**x-x-x**

She was clipping her earrings on when a knock came to the door of the apartment. Her shoes hitting the hard wood floor echoed through the small area as she rushed across the room, opening it and her breath halting in her throat.

Edward stood in her doorway, pristine in his dress blues and his hat beneath his arm, a sight she hadn't seen voluntarily since Michael's funeral. He gave her a smile, taking her hand and raising it to his lips. "First Lieutenant Edward Cullen at your service, ma'am."

She chuckled and rolled her eyes as he winked at her. "Can dress you up, but can't take you out, huh?"

His lips twitched with a smirk as she reached for her purse, and when she turned back to him, it had all but disappeared as he held his elbow out for her to take. "Shall we go?"

Bella nodded with a smile and he led her out of the building toward his car, opening the door for her when they reached it. She was certain that it was not the first time he'd done it, but Mikey's words from the night before rang loud in her head, clouding her thoughts. Although Edward had always been a perfect gentleman in the entire time she'd known him, everything about the evening so far had set flashing neon lights off in her head.

She'd spent nearly two hours getting dressed and primping with hair and makeup.

He'd arrived at her door, dressed immaculately, to pick her up.

He'd escorted her out to the car on his arm and opened the door for her...

To an outsider, she knew they wouldn't appear as casual friends. The night was quickly converging into a 'date'.

These thoughts continued to plague her throughout dinner at the Christmas banquet they were attending; a fundraiser for the families of fallen soldiers. She could feel the glasses of wine swimming in her head when she felt a tap on her shoulder, looking up to find Edward standing beside her and holding out his hand.

"Would you like to dance?" he asked with a smile and her eyes moved to the dance floor, watching several couples moving toward it.

"What about your knee?" she replied with a smile and hesitantly placed her hand in his.

"The _Army_ says it's not healed enough for combat yet, but I think it can handle a dance," he said as he walked her toward the floor, circling her under his arm before pulling her against him. "Besides, it would be a damn shame to put that poodle skirt and those saddle shoes to waste."

Bella rolled her eyes with a chuckle as the sound of "Rockin' Robin" filled the air, and the room came to life. When she'd first suggested the 50's theme for this year's annual fundraiser, she hadn't imagined that it would be such a huge success. Yet, glancing around at the twirling skirts of the women and the slicked back hair on the men, and the excitement that surrounded her, she'd realized how wrong she'd been in doubting.

Her attention was drawn back to Edward as he twirled her toward him and began moving around the floor with her. The first heartfelt laugh she released in ages emanated from her, while slightly surprised at how good of a dancer he actually was. There was something so mind-freeing about letting go and dancing this way, and she allowed herself to become immersed in it.

At the end of the song, the tempo slowed and "The Wonder of You" began to play. However, instead of leaving the floor, he pulled her back to him and slid his arm around her waist. She hadn't slow-danced with any man since her wedding, but she felt no inclination to pull away and instead placed one hand on his shoulder while folding her fingers around his with the other.

"Where on earth did you learn to dance like that?" Bella asked as she gazed up at him, watching a smile touch his lips. "I doubt that's Army regulated training at work there."

Edward laughed and shook his head, the wrinkles deepening around his eyes with his smile. "No, my mother loved this whole thing—the music, the dancing, the time. And her and my dad used to clear out the living room and just listen to old records, dancing for hours. She taught me, as well as my sister, how to dance when we were barely old enough to walk. But if this gets out, you're in deep trouble."

"You're the one who asked _me_ to dance, just remember that," she teased back as he narrowed his eyes at her playfully, and then laid her head on his shoulder. She felt his cheek resting against her hair and his hand holding hers against his chest as they swayed to the music, a nervous stirring beginning to well in her stomach. Yet, she didn't feel the usual panic or tension that normally accompanied such a sensation. She felt an almost unsettling comfort in his arms, holding her close against him.

Bella lifted her head again and looked up at him, drowning out the music around her as her eyes locked with his. Before she realized what she was doing, she moved closer and pressed her lips against his. His fingers tightened slightly around her hand in surprise, but he didn't pull back. Instead, his lips moved with hers tenderly in time with the slow sway of their bodies to the music.

When they finally parted, they gazed at each other in a stunned silence, neither making a motion to speak. Her lips tingled from the missing contact, her breath stalled in her chest. Aside from her brief musing the night before, she'd never thought about Edward that way. Never envisioned what it would be like to kiss him, or how she would feel afterward. He was just Edward, her husband's best friend, and more recently, the closest person to her as well – her rock. As attractive as she would admit he was, she'd never thought about him in a romantic or sexual way.

And the fact that after one brief moment of vulnerability, he looked completely different to her, startled her. She pulled away from his arms and her eyes fell to the floor, finally taking a breath before hurrying from the floor and out of the room. She stepped out onto the large patio outside, and took in a deep breath, the brisk winter air stinging her lungs.

Bella wrapped her arms around her middle, closing her eyes in an attempt to collect herself. It had to be the alcohol, she thought, trying to find the reasoning in her actions. It was the holidays, she was lonely, and the wine emboldened her in ways that she would normally never dream of, as well as enhancing her comfort level with him.

"Bella?"

She heard his soft voice behind her and her shoulders tensed when she felt his hands rest gently on them. "I need to go home. Mikey will be back early tomorrow so we can finish up our shopping," she rambled through a shuddering breath, shaking her head as he softly whispered her name again. "Edward, please? Just take me home."

Without waiting for him to respond, she turned and moved around him, grabbing her purse from the table and collecting her coat by the door. The car ride back to her apartment was deafeningly silent until he parked at the curb and drew in a deep breath.

"Do you still want me to come by on Friday?"

Bella's eye shot over to him sharply, finding his hands tightly gripping the steering wheel and his body tense. She sighed heavily at her own stupidity and nodded. "Of course, I do. Mikey is looking forward to it and it wouldn't be Christmas Eve without you there."

His gaze met hers slowly and he leaned back against the headrest. "Bella—"

Her fingers rose to his lips and she shook her head, watching them slowly drop from his face. "Don't. Let's just forget anything happened, and go on as normal, okay?"

Edward released his breath heavily and nodded. "Okay. Goodnight, Bella."

She moved to kiss his cheek out of habit but stopped herself, reaching for the door handle instead. "Goodnight."

Bella barely made it to the front door when she heard his car pull away, watching the taillights as they disappeared down the road.

_Things would look brighter in the morning. _

**x-x-x**

Strolling through the sporting goods store the following day with Mikey, Bella's thoughts remained on the night before, as they had been since the moment Edward drove away. At the time, she couldn't figure out what had compelled her to kiss him, and what shook her even more was the fact that she'd enjoyed it. But as she lay in bed the previous night, tracing her fingers over her lips distractedly for hours and reliving the sensation she had long forgotten, it felt as if a blindfold had been lifted from her view of the world. There had always been something special between her and Edward, a closeness they shared that was beyond the normal realm of friendship. And rather than feeling guilty for kissing the best friend of her deceased husband, she felt more so for not feeling guilty at all - other than the way she had left things with Edward.

In many ways, she knew that he would the perfect candidate to fill the void left behind by Michael, but she really couldn't see what options were left open to her. Everything about the situation screamed that it was wrong. From the basis of the friendship through Mike, to the military aspect of Edward himself, and the confusion it would eventually cause Mikey in the long run.

So why was she aching this way, longing for something that could never be? Perhaps it really was that she simply was _that_ lonely, and it was time for her to move forward with her life. It had been so long since she'd even felt the slightest touch of a man, and her actions from the night before only exemplified her desire for it.

"Mommy! Uncle Edward would _love _this!" Mikey exclaimed loudly, tugging sharply on the hand he was holding on to and drawing her attention back to him.

He pointed to the glass case next to them to an ornate hunting knife, bouncing excitedly beside her and talking so fast she could barely understand him. Yet, as Bella gazed at it, she had to admit that she could also envision it displayed amongst his massive collection encased on his wall, despite the pricetag.

"Please, Mommy!" he pleaded, his wide blue eyes beaming up at her.

With a sigh, she nodded and motioned to the young man behind the counter to set it aside for her at the register. "Now, let's find something for Grandpa and get out of here, okay?"

Mikey rolled his eyes and shook his head. "You're such a _girl_, Mom."

**x-x-x**

The next several days passed slowly, and aside from picking Mikey up at Edward's after a few late shifts she had to pull at work, they'd barely even spoken since the night of the dinner. When Friday arrived, Bella watched as her son began gazing out the window overlooking the parking lot at three o'clock. As more snow fell with each passing minute, his anxiety increased along with his fidgeting.

"What if he doesn't come?" Mikey finally asked as he looked over his shoulder at her, when Edward's anticipated time of arrival came and passed.

"He'll be here, baby. He's probably just running a little late, that's all," she replied from where she stood at the stove, cooking dinner.

"I dunno, Mom. It's gettin' pretty bad out there," he sighed as he looked back outside, his chin resting on his folded arms upon the windowsill.

Switching the burner off, she made her way over to the window and stood behind him, gazing out at the thick curtain of snow that almost completely blocked their view of the parking lot. She ran her fingers over Mikey's hair and crouched down beside him, turning him to look at her. "Mikey, has Edward ever lied to you?"

The little boy shook his head slowly and lowered his eyes to the floor, bringing them back up to her when she took his face gently between her hands.

"If something was wrong, he'd call. The phone hasn't rung, so he'll be here. Okay?"

A heavy slam of the main door downstairs caused Mikey to jump, rising up on his toes to watch over her shoulder. He squealed with excitement when the apartment door swung open to reveal Edward stomping the snow off his boots. Bella's eyes briefly locked with his as he gazed across the room at her, before his attention was drawn to the little boy colliding with his legs, hugging them tightly.

She drew in a deep breath as she rose from the floor and made her way back to the kitchen while Mikey sufficiently distracted him. As she finished dinner, she listened to the two of them in the living room as they began setting up the train set that Edward had gotten him for Christmas. Just as she was placing the ham on the table, Mikey came barreling into the room and tugged on the waistband of her jeans.

"Mommy, you gotta come see!" he exclaimed with a wide grin, bouncing lightly in his place until she followed him into the adjoining room. The small electric train ran in circles around the track and Mikey ran back across the floor to sit in Edward's lap, taking over the controls. His cheeks puffed and his lips pursed as he began mimicking the train sounds, causing both of the adults in the room to chuckle.

"Well, I _used_ to have a living room," Bella joked softly, causing Edward to look up and her laughter slowly dissipated, leaving only an uncomfortable smile behind. "Um, dinner's ready, you two. So wash up."

Throughout the meal, the room was eerily silent with the exception of Mikey talking excitedly about the following morning and his anticipation of what it would hold. Bella had foolishly hoped that she and Edward could quickly move beyond the awkward stage that evening and have everything return to normal, but it was proving not to be the case at all.

No sooner had they finished eating and Mikey was dragging Edward back out into the living room to play with the train some more before bed, leaving Bella to clear off the table and to her thoughts. She began to wonder if anything would ever be the same between her and Edward, or if she had irreversibly changed the entire dynamic of their friendship. She knew he would never turn his back on Mikey, and that was what was important. However, trying to imagine her life without his support and understanding, which had been the only thing besides her son to get her through the last three years, was unbearable.

"Hey, Bella," she heard his soft voice from the doorway as she stood at the sink washing dishes, jerking her from her thoughts. She glanced over her shoulder to look at him and he had a small smile on his face, motioning with his fingers to follow him. She set the sponge down and walked over to him, stopping short at the doorway.

Mikey was fast asleep in front of the television with his head resting beside the control box for the train, completely surrounded by the tracks. She couldn't help but smile at the sight and made her way over to him, carefully lifting him into her arms and carrying him into his room.

As she laid him down in his bed, his hands came up to rub his eyes, mumbling sleepily, "Is it Christmas yet?"

"No sweetie, not yet. Just go back to sleep," she whispered as she brushed his hair off his forehead and kissed it gently. She stood and he rolled away, hugging his stuffed lion and quickly falling back asleep.

Quietly closing the door behind her, she walked back out into the living room to find Edward standing by the bookcase, staring at it intently. As she walked up beside him, her eyes landed on the object of his attention and her chest tightened.

It was a picture taken of him and her husband just after Bella had given birth to Mikey, when they were deployed together in Afghanistan. Michael was overjoyed to learn that he was the father of a beautiful, healthy baby boy, and naturally, had to share the news immediately with his best friend. They both stood with unlit cigars between their teeth, grinning like idiots, and their arms hooked around each other's shoulders.

Bella heard Edward take in a deep breath slowly, drawing her attention back to him to find a pained expression on his face, his gaze never leaving the photograph. With hesitation, she raised her hand to rest on his shoulder.

"He loved you and Mikey so damn much," he said suddenly, his eyes appearing distant as a sad smile appeared on his face. "We used to tease him relentlessly over there. He was always looking at your picture whenever we weren't on patrol or something. Beating down the lines to the phone just to hear your voice for two minutes. And when he found out you had a boy, I didn't think he was ever gonna come down from that high. He said his only regret was that he wasn't there to hold his son, and kiss his beautiful wife."

Bella nodded and looked down, folding her arms around herself to shield against the memories bombarding them. "I know, he told me. He just kept saying 'let 'em tease. They're just jealous of what I got back home waiting for me.'"

Edward gave a breathy chuckle and nodded. "Well, he was right." Her eyes rose again and what she found startled her. All humor had left his features and his eyes glistened with restrained tears, the tension of the effort showing in his tight jaw. "It should have been me, not him. He had everything back here waiting for him with you and Mikey. What did I have? I don't even have a _dog_ waiting for me, but they took _him_."

Bella's breath stilled in her throat as she watched the steel exterior of Edward chip away piece by piece, with years of guilt he'd been carrying with him since Michael's death bubbling to the surface. "It's not your fault, Edward. Michael was a soldier and he did what he had to do. You had no control over that."

"He would have been done by now," he replied tensely, looking over to her again. "Hell, he never would have even enlisted if it weren't for me. I _wanted_ to be a soldier. He never even wanted to leave home. All he'd wanted since high school was to marry you, have a bunch of babies, and live happily ever after."

To a point, she had to admit that he was right. Michael had never once mentioned joining the military until the year following Edward's enlistment just before graduation. Being a year younger, he'd always looked up to and admired Edward, never more so than those months following his departure for Basic, when he decided that he would also enlist upon his own graduation. And he'd been on his final tour in Iraq before his enlistment would have ended when he'd been shot and killed instantly while on patrol.

"He trusted me, Bella," he spoke again, shaking his head and staring at the ceiling. "Trusted me to take care of you and Mikey, and I've let him down."

"No, you haven't," she said firmly, stepping between him and the bookcase, shaking her head. "I don't know where I would have been if I didn't have you around when Michael died. And Mikey loves you so much."

"But I've crossed a line. The line you just don't cross with your best friend's wife," he replied, gazing at her for a moment before stepping back from her. "When you kissed me, I should have stopped it, not kissed you back. I don't think that's what Mike had in mind when he said he hoped you would move on if anything ever happened to him."

Bella silently stared at him, absorbing everything he'd said in the last several minutes. Not only did he hold himself responsible for Michael's death, but also felt that he'd now committed the worst form of betrayal to his friend's memory. She stepped toward him again and placed her hand on his cheek, to which he immediately pulled away. But she took his arm, holding him in place. "Edward, I miss Michael more than I could ever explain to anyone. And I don't think there is another person outside of his family that can even begin to understand that more than you. But nothing you have done in the last three years has shown him anything but the utmost respect. You have dropped everything, whenever possible, at a moment's notice for me and for Mikey. Put everything in your own life on hold to make sure that we were taken care of." She paused, drawing in a deep breath before looking back to him again. "I honestly don't know what was going through my mind when I kissed you the other night. But for the first time since I lost Michael, I felt something besides pain and loneliness. And I've been thinking a lot since that happened."

Edward shook his head and closed his eyes, his brow furrowing more. "Bella—"

"No, you were right. Michael would've wanted me to keep living and move on, not lock myself away in my own misery for the last three years. It hasn't been fair to Mikey, or to me." Her hand moved down the remainder of his arm until her fingers slid between his, causing his eyes to open quickly and look to her. "If there's one thing that _I_ know about Mike Newton, it's that he trusted you more than anyone in this world. I mean, you two were friends before you were even able to walk in a straight line. And if there was one person that he would have trusted to be with me and his son, it would have been you."

Edward tensed slightly and swallowed hard, his gaze lowering to their joined hands. His chest began rising and falling in rapid succession, feeling the fingers of her other hand trace along his jaw. "Bella, I can't," he said, shaking his head and looking back to her. "I'm a soldier, and I'm planning on being one for a very long time. This is what I do, and what I _love_ to do. I'm not giving it up, and I can't knowingly do that to you."

"I'm not asking you to give it up. I never thought I'd voluntarily put myself in this position again, but it's a chance I'd be willing to take. I think once you've been an Army wife, it becomes a part of who you are. The risk and the danger, the lifestyle. Anything else just never seems to fit," she responded seriously, her gaze locked on his. Then her lips pulled into the hint of a smile and her cheeks began to color, her teeth tugging on her bottom lip shyly. "Besides, there's nothing quite like a handsome man in uniform to curl a woman's toes."

Edward released an uneasy chuckle, his eyes averted from hers as the corner of his mouth twitched nervously. "I'm deploying within the month, Bella."

Her fingertips turned his face, bringing his gaze to hers. "And I'd be here waiting for you to come back."

They stared intensely into each other's eyes for several moments until, just as on the night of the dinner, they drew together until their lips tentatively touched. Unlinking their hands, they slowly melted into the kiss while their arms slid around each other. When her tongue lightly brushed against his, they both released soft, contented sighs as he pulled her closer to him. She felt his arm press against the exposed skin of her back where her sweater rose from the waistline of her jeans, as she tightened her embrace around his shoulders.

She pulled away slowly and opened her eyes, watching his long lashes flutter briefly before looking back to her. "How long?"

It was a vague question, but his hands running along her sides as he drew in a deep breath told her that he understood exactly what she meant. "Fourth of July picnic. Just spending that whole day with you and Mikey right after I got back. It felt so good to actually relax and have fun. I wasn't thinking about being sent home, or not being over there with my men, or the painful PT I was going through. And in all the years I'd known you, you'd never looked as beautiful as you did that day."

"I think that was nine months of desert heat and sand clouding your brain," Bella teased and then the air fell silent between them. She took a slow deep breath and ran her hands along his shoulders until they gripped his upper arms and his rested on her hips. "I should probably start setting out the presents for the morning."

"Yeah, I should probably get home before it gets too bad out there," Edward replied with a nod, stepping back from her slightly.

"Edward, it's _been_ 'too bad' for hours now. So, get comfortable, because you're not going anywhere," Bella said, pointing to the couch as she walked out of the room and down the hall toward the closet to retrieve the presents.

An hour later, Bella and Edward sat together on the couch sipping on glasses of wine. His arm was around her shoulders while her head rested on his, both of them gazing silently at the lights twinkling in the otherwise dark room. Her fingers linked with his on her shoulder and her thumb ran along the edge of his hand, before pulling it toward her lips and kissing the back gently. She felt so incredibly calm and relaxed there in his hold, more so than she could have ever imagined possible again. For the first time in years, she remembered what it was like to be happy.

**x-x-x**

Bella shifted and stretched, her brow furrowing in her half-asleep state to the feel of a body beside her. She opened her eyes slowly to find herself still in the living room, sitting on the couch, her head resting on Edward's chest. A soft sigh escaped her lips as her arm tightened around his waist, causing him to stir as well and lift his head from atop of hers.

His eyes opened to gaze down at her and the lazy smile that graced his lips matched hers as he leaned in to kiss her softly. "Good morning."

She hummed against his lips contently, brushing them once more with hers. "Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas!" Mikey burst into the living room cheering, causing Edward and Bella to startle completely awake and move apart. They glanced at each other uncertainly, both of their faces flushed slightly as the little boy jumped onto the couch between them. He hugged them both in turn around the waist before climbing into Edward's lap and lying on his chest. Mikey's face tilted up toward him, giggling as he spoke. "You kissed my mommy."

Edward stammered as he looked back to Bella, shaking his head. They'd discussed the night before that they were going to take things slow and see how things progressed before getting Mikey's hopes up. This part definitely wasn't in the plan. "Buddy… uh…"

"I sawed you," Mikey smirked, glancing over to his mother as well. "Last night, too."

Bella's face reddened more as her eyes lowered briefly to her lap, composing herself before looking back to Mikey. "You were supposed to be asleep by then, young man," she half-heartedly scolded, raising an eyebrow at him.

Mikey giggled again with a shrug. "I know."

His shameless reply caused them both to chuckle. "Don't you want to open your presents?" Bella asked, pointing at the tree.

He paused, lifting his chin to look at Edward and then lowered it again, snuggling back against him. "In a minute. I got something for you though, Mommy."

"Really? What is it?"

Mikey handed her a folded piece of paper with a smile. "It's my birthday list."

Bella chuckled, shaking her head. "Baby, your birthday isn't until the summer."

"I know," he replied with a careless shrug. "But I couldn't get back to sleep last night after I saw you kissing Uncle Edward, so I made my list."

Bella slowly unfolded the paper, drawing in a slow breath as her eyes fell to the illegible scrawl in blue crayon on the sheet. She turned to glance at Edward, whose forehead creased slightly as he too attempted to decipher the scribbled words.

Mikey sighed dramatically and rolled his eyes, sliding off Edward's lap and onto the floor. "Fine, I'll read it for you."

They both restrained laughter at his annoyed tone as he took the letter from Bella's hands and stood in front of them. Pursing his lips slightly, he cleared his throat with a serious expression on his face.

"Dear Mommy," he started, pausing for effect and looking directly at Bella with a nod. "For my birthday, I want a baby brother or sister. Love, Mikey."

Bella gasped upon listening to Mikey's words. Her gaze moved quickly over to Edward to find him shifting uncomfortably with widened eyes, both of them releasing a nervous chuckle.

Mikey looked between them. "What?"

* * *

**I'm currently working on a second part to this, but with the holidays approaching and all, I'm not sure when it will be posted. I'm sincerely appreciating everyone's patience. :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Well, it seems that I have become attached to yet another couple, and I have at least another part or two in my head for this one as well. **

**Hope you all have a very happy and safe holiday! **

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The heat between Edward and Bella flamed quickly over the passing days, with no small amount of encouragement from Mikey, and of course, Edward's looming deployment hanging over them.

On New Years Eve, Bella was in her bedroom, sliding on her shoes when she overheard Mikey talking to Edward in the living room.

"But I wanna go with you," he whined, and she could almost hear the accompanying pouting lip.

"Sorry, buddy. Not this time. It's a grown up only party tonight. We'll do something special this week, all three of us, okay?" Edward's soft voice replied, straining slightly from what she could only discern as lifting him onto his lap.

"But what if you forget?" Mikey mumbled and Bella made her way down the hall to stand just outside the doorway to listen.

"Forget what?" Edward asked, obviously attempting to mask his amusement.

Mikey sighed heavily and draped his arm around Edward's shoulders with a matter-of-fact expression on his little face. "You _have_ to kiss Mommy at midnight. It's very important."

Edward's eyes met Bella's across the room and his lips twitched slightly as he smiled. "I won't forget, Mikey. I promise. I'll even give her an extra kiss for you."

The little boy nodded and then his face twisted in thought. "Only on the cheek, though. Because only _dates_ kiss _here_."

Bella brought her hand to cover her mouth to silence her chuckle as she watched his tiny fingers point to his lips. She found herself baffled by how much things had changed since that conversation with Mikey a little over a week before. She never thought it possible for Edward to become more of an integral part of her life, and her son's, than he had been over the past three years. She didn't feel the guilt she'd imagined at kissing him or in the progression from friend to lover with him. If anything, it seemed as if Michael would be smiling down on the happiness they found with each other, that his son had a man in his life worthy of being his dad. And watching the comfort level that both Edward and Mikey shared as they sat together on the couch, with the little boy's head resting on his shoulder, she wondered what had taken her so long to see it.

A knock sounded at the door and Mikey looked up suddenly, sliding off Edward's lap and running toward it. "It's Grandma, Mom! Hurry!"

Bella shared a brief glance with Edward, who chuckled as he rose from his seat and moved toward her. "Guess he's forgotten all about the party now."

"Grandma will do it every time," she replied, taking a deep breath as she walked toward the door with him. She hadn't seen Michael's mother since she and Edward had started dating, and still felt unsure of how she would react to Bella moving on from her beloved son. And with his best friend, at that.

Edward gave her hand a gentle squeeze in encouragement as Mikey's impatient bouncing by the door increased, and gently kissed her temple. "It'll be all right."

Bella nodded at his whispered words and released his hand to open the door.

"Ah, there's my beautiful boy. I thought I heard you in here," Mrs. Newton teased, a smile appearing instantly on her face as she gazed down at Mikey and she lifted him into her arms. "Oh, how Grandma's missed you."

"I've missed you, too, Grandma!" he replied, squeezing his arms around her neck. "You got presents for me?"

"Mikey," Bella warned, lifting a brow at her son and shaking her head.

"Of course, Grandma has presents for you. Grandpa and I even left the tree up for your visit," she smiled, and then looked to Bella. "It's okay. How are you doing, sweetheart?"

Bella released her breath and smiled as Mrs. Newton leaned toward her and cupped her cheek with her hand, kissing it gently. "Good. Happy New Year."

"Certainly seems that way, doesn't it?" she replied with a smirk and glanced over at Edward. Bella blushed slightly as Mrs. Newton wrapped her arm around Edward's waist for a hug, whispering softly in his ear.

Edward nodded in response to her and she pulled away, shifting Mikey onto her hip.

"How about we get going so Mommy and Edward can go to their party?" Mrs. Newton said as Bella handed her his overnight bag.

Mikey nodded and then looked to Edward, waggling his finger at him. "Don't forget."

Edward laughed and shook his head. "I won't. I promised, right?"

"Right!" Mikey replied with a firm nod, and then tugged on the collar of his grandmother's coat. "I want my grampa and presents."

"All right, we're going," Mrs. Newton chuckled and then smiled at Edward and Bella. "Have fun."

"Thank you. Be good, Mikey," Bella called out after them, earning a groan and an eyeroll from her son. Closing the door, she turned to Edward and finally grasped the opportunity to take him in. While not in his uniform, he still looked equally as incredible in a simple white button-down shirt and black pants, with a thin black tie running down his chest. She felt as if she could stand there gazing at him forever, but knew they'd never make it to the party. "I'll just grab my purse and we can go."

"One second," he said softly, taking her hand and pulling her back to face him. "You look beautiful tonight."

Bella's cheeks tinted pink once again as she glanced down at her deep burgundy dress. She hadn't worn it in years, and even at knee-length, she suddenly felt naked under his gaze. He lifted her chin with his fingertips and gently brushed a kiss against her lips. She closed her eyes at the sensation and melted against him, sliding her arms slowly around his waist. He made her _feel_ beautiful with the slightest touch, along with the soft hum that escaped him as the kiss deepened. She never thought she'd ever yearn to feel this want and desire for or from someone ever again, and yet, it came so effortlessly with Edward.

He pulled away from the kiss slowly, his brow furrowed as it rested against hers while they regained their breaths with closed eyes. "We should get going."

Bella swallowed hard and nodded, sighing softly as she made her way to the kitchen island to grab her purse. When she returned to the door, she found him holding her jacket for her and couldn't help but smile as she slid her arms inside.

Unexpectedly, Edward's arms wrapped around her from behind with her coat, and he lightly kissed her jaw. "There's already enough gossip going on without adding us being late onto it, right?"

Bella chuckled, leaning back against his chest and turning her head to gaze up at him. "I thought you didn't care what _they_ thought."

"I don't… when it comes to me," he replied, giving her lips a gentle peck before releasing her from his hold and taking her hand. "But when it comes to you, and Jessica's never-ending grudge against you for sweeping Mike away, I have no intention of feeding the vultures."

"Not to mention the gaping she did over you. She might _never_ forgive me now," she retorted sarcastically, rolling her eyes for effect as they stepped outside into the stinging cold winter air. But inside, her heart was racing.

It was the first night they were going out in public as a couple amongst their friends, and were both equally nervous about it. Living in a small town, they knew all to well the judgmental looks they'd been receiving over the last three years since Michael died. The rumors would now be amplified since Bella officially moved on, with her husband's best friend.

_How long have they _really _been together, and keeping it a secret? _

_Had the Newton marriage really been as happy as it appeared on the outside?_

_Did Bella get lonely during Mike's last deployment, and been living with guilt all these years since his death?_

Speculation that had all been generated by the likes of Jessica and Lauren; having long since married into the military themselves. What better place to rouse a gossip mill than an Army post filled with the lonely housewives of deployed soldiers?

Although the party that night was informal and off post, the sound of Jessica's high pitched, nasal laugh reached them before they even stepped inside the hall. That artificial laugh was reserved for one purpose-to flaunt her much older husband, General Banner, along with keeping the multi-carat rock adorning her left hand on full display at all times.

Bella took a deep breath and laced her hand with Edward's as they walked into the room together, watching Jessica's lips purse as they drew closer. As he saluted his commander, Bella felt as if the earth could open up and swallow her whole from the scrutiny in the other woman's eyes.

"Well, Bella. So nice to see you here at one of these again. I'm sure you must have missed it." Jessica's stage smile returned as she leaned toward Bella and gave her an air peck to each cheek. "Once you move back on post, we _must_ get together for coffee."

"I… um. I wasn't…" Bella stammered nervously, biting lightly at her lip and shaking her head.

"Oh, come now. We all know that none of us keep away from the band for long," Jessica replied, raising an eyebrow and tapping her ring finger on its perch on her husband's arm. "And it's not as if you're strangers, after all."

"I think we could use some drinks," Edward spoke up, placing his hand at Bella's lower back and nodding to the couple. "General Banner, Mrs. Banner."

Bella took slow, deep breaths as they walked away toward the opposite end of the banquet hall, gratefully accepting the flute of champagne that was handed to her. "Boy, she really does fit the role of General's wife, doesn't she? Bet that dress cost about as much as her boobs."

Edward snorted a laugh, pinching the bridge of his nose as her eyes looked to him over her glass as she took a sip. His hand dropped and he glanced over at her, shaking his head and attempting to keep a straight face. "Never would have taken you for a gossip hound, Bella."

Bella sighed, and shook her head. "I'm not. Just for someone who's a year in to her second marriage at twenty-five, she's far more judgmental than she has the right to be."

Edward's arm slid around her waist, pulling her gently against his side and gently kissing her hair. "Don't let her get to you."

Her eyes rose to meet his, lifting her fingers to trace gently along his jaw. "I won't."

Edward's lips descending slowly to hers, brushing against them gently before they were interrupted by the approach of Angela and Eric. Bella smiled when Angela excitedly showed her the engagement ring that Eric had presented her for Christmas. It was announced that they would be tying the knot within the next few weeks before he too would be deploying, which caused a knot to form in Bella's stomach. Yet she still tried to push any negative thoughts back to share in the joyous news with them.

Bella attempted to hold herself together until she and Edward were out on the dance floor together. Once there, the thoughts that she had been trying to keep at bay, bombarded her all at once. In a few short weeks, he would be leaving, with no way of knowing if or when he would be back. The thought of losing him was terrifying, more so than it had been with Mike. Since now, she knew just how real of a possibility it was; she'd lived through it.

As if reading her mind, he tightened his hold on her and lowered his lips to her ear. "Don't think. It's not tomorrow."

"I know." Her forehead rested against his shoulder as she curled her hand around the back of his neck, his hair tickling the edge of her finger. She felt her lips twitch slightly as she twirled the ends with her fingertips and gazed back up at him. "Someone needs a haircut."

Edward rolled his eyes playfully, thankful for the lightening of the mood between them. The only thing he wanted to think about was the beautiful woman in his arms, and falling asleep beside her in his bed for the first time that night.

Since Mikey would be at his grandparent's house for the remainder of the weekend, he and Bella made plans to spend it at his house, soaking in as much time as a couple as they could. The trepidation between the two of them was palpable, as they had never been truly alone even once in the last week. Every kiss they shared, even in the middle of the night, was met by soft giggles in the hallway, as if her son had radar to sense whenever things just might escalate on a physical level between them.

But tonight would hold no eyes or giggles to stop them; nothing but the two of them. They weren't naïve enough to assume that nothing would happen between them; that was far too unrealistic. The desire that was coursing through them earlier in the evening from one simple kiss was enough to indicate that there would more than innocent touches and embraces that night.

Bella noticed the shift in his gaze, one that she was sure reflected her own. They would be truly alone that night, and the thought left her a little nervous.

The last time she had been with a man was before Michael had left on his last deployment, and he'd been her first _and_ her last. While she was found it difficult to imagine that Edward had been even remotely celibate over the past several months, despite his realization of his attraction to her and his injured knee. He was an attractive man with needs after a long deployment, albeit cut short by his injury, and she was far from the experienced woman that he was accustomed to.

"Hey," Edward whispered, interrupting her thoughts and her eyes rose to his immediately. "What's wrong?"

Bella bit her lip and shook her head. "Nothing. Why?"

"You just looked a thousand miles away," he replied, running his hand along her back.

She pressed her body more firmly against him as her arms tightened around his shoulders, rising onto her toes until their foreheads rested together. "I'm right here with you, I swear."

His green gaze penetrated hers and she could feel every breath he took against her chest. The exchange was broken by the shrill sound of laughter across the room, and they both looked in the direction of the sound. Once again it was Jessica, this time joined by Lauren, who had her hand resting on her abdomen and began nodding.

"Is it midnight, yet?" Bella mumbled sarcastically, bringing her gaze back to Edward's chest.

"No," he replied, turning her so that her back was now to the small group. "But nothing is saying that we have to stay until then, if you'd rather go."

Bella laughed, fingering the collar of his shirt. "Are we going to make a habit out of this? Cutting out on events early?"

"I can think of worse things to be known for," Edward replied with a smirk, winking at her before he broke into a smile, crinkling the corners of his eyes.

Bella closed her eyes in an attempt to restrain her laughter, pulling him closer until his lips met hers. His mouth glided effortlessly against her, yet the kiss remained tame, as they were still in public and in front of his CO at that. She pulled away slowly and her gaze met his, noticing the near emerald shade of them before they closed as his forehead rested against her and he slowed his breathing. "You ready to go?"

Edward nodded and stepped back, taking her hand and leading her to the coat check. Once they settled into his car after they'd said their goodnights, Bella began to feel the butterflies erupt in her stomach again, encouraged by the silence at his end as well.

Bella stared at their hands, their fingers still laced where they rested on his leg, running her tongue over her lip nervously as her pinky moved along the inside of his thigh. His back stiffened with an abrupt breath and he swallowed audibly, tightening his hold on her as he fought to keep his eyes on the road. "Sorry."

Edward shook his head sharply and kept a firm grip on her hand as she moved to pull it away. "No, you're fine, Bella. Just took me by surprise."

His voice was gravelly and deep, causing her skin to tingle with anticipation, but also her heart to race as they pulled into Edward's driveway. His response to her had been promising, as she'd never had much of an opportunity to test the waters with him, with Mikey always within peeking or listening distance. Once he cut the engine, they remained motionless, both staring at their entwined hands.

"You can always change your mind," Edward spoke softly, his brow furrowed as his thumb traced over the back of her hand. "I know we're not in the most ideal of situations, but if you're not ready to spend the night with me—"

Bella pressed her fingertips against his lips, shaking her head and never taking her eyes off his mouth. "No, I want to. I swear."

Edward pursed his lips against her fingers to kiss them as he sighed in relief, causing her to giggle. She stepped out of the car quickly and met him at the front, taking his outstretched hand and following him to the door. Maneuvering his keys between his fingers, he had to release her hand to separate the one to the house and fumbled slightly as he attempted to slide the key into the lock.

"Are _you_ nervous?" Bella asked playfully, sliding her arms around his waist and pressing her lips to his shoulder blade.

Finally getting the key into the slot, Edward glanced over his shoulder at her and shook his head. "No, I've been looking forward to time for just you and me. I don't think we've _ever_ had that, without _anyone_ around."

Bella ran her hands over his chest as her head rested against his back in thought. "You know, you have a point. I don't think car rides count."

"No, not exactly," he replied with a smile as he pushed the door open and gently took one of her hands from his chest into his. Stepping inside, he helped her out of her jacket, gently kissing her cheek. "Want some wine?"

Bella nodded gratefully as she felt her jittery nerves slowly escalating, anxious for the warmth to sooth them that the champagne from the party did nothing to quell.

Edward returned from the kitchen just as she was settling onto the couch, handing her a wine glass and sitting down beside her. Bella took a long sip and then rested back against his chest as his arm draped around her. His breath ghosted over her hair while his fingers ran through it and she closed her eyes, reveling in the feel of it. "I can feel your heart pounding. Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," she answered, but felt her heart begin to race even more. Her eyes locked on her glass as she traced her finger around the rim, leaning into his touch more.

His lips rested against her hair while his fingers gently stroked her cheek. "Nothing has to happen, Bella. You know that, right? I'd be just as content to sit right here like this all night."

Bella shook her head and looked up to him, resting her hand on his knee. "It's not that, Edward. I want this. I'm just… I don't know… nervous?"

"About what?" he whispered and her eyes lowered as she shrugged, tracing light patterns on his pant leg. "Hey, talk to me."

Bella sighed heavily as she sat up, taking another sip of wine before setting her glass down on the table. She swallowed hard, never lifting her gaze to his, even when he sat up beside her and gently caressed her back with his hand. "It's just been a long time since I've… you know. Done this. And even then, it's only been Mike."

"Bella, I told you—"

"No, that's not what I'm talking about," Bella cut him off, finally looking up to him. "I mean… what if you're disappointed."

"Disappointed?" he replied, his eyes widening slightly.

Bella's hands covered her face and she fell back against the couch cushions. She felt her cheeks burning in embarrassment and shook her head rapidly. "Forget it!"

She heard Edward set his glass on the table and felt his thigh rub against hers as he lowered himself to kneel on the floor in front of her. He gently took hold of her wrists and pulled her hands from her face, gazing at her curiously. "Tell me."

Bella dragged her teeth over her bottom lip nervously, her fingers twitching in his hold before softly speaking again. "I've only been with one guy, Edward. _Ever_. And you… well, you've had your fair share of women, I'm sure. I'm just… afraid I won't live up to your expectations, I guess."

"Oh, Bella," he murmured and her gaze met his as he gently took her face between his hands. A soft smile graced his lips before tenderly pressing them to hers. "You could never disappoint me. And I think you might be overestimating my sexual prowess _just_ a bit."

Bella rolled her eyes and shook her head. "I highly doubt that. You had girls falling all over you in high school, and add a uniform to that…"

Edward chuckled, stroking her cheek gently with his thumb as it flushed slightly under his touch. "Doesn't mean I fell back over every single one of them. There were a few, but I hardly think five qualifies as 'fair share', as you say."

Bella's lips froze against his, her eyes shooting open at his admission. "Five?"

Edward broke into a laugh and sat back on his calves, his hands resting on her waist. "How often have I been in one place long enough for anything else since I was eighteen?"

Bella nodded slowly at his logic, drawing in a deep breath.

"And _nothing_ has been more important to me in the last three years than you and Mikey, Bella." She gazed at him as his eyes lost all trace of humor, and she lifted her hand to gently trace her fingers along his cheek.

Moving forward on the cushion, Bella felt his arms slide around her waist and she met his lips with hers softly. His kiss remained gentle and reverent, never rushed or forceful, and she knew she was ready.

They slowly rose to stand and her arms slid around his neck, their lips parting as they gaze into each other's eyes. Her fingers traced along his collar as he gave her another soft kiss and then scooped her into his arms, carrying her down the hall to his bedroom door. They stood silently as he set her down, running his hands along her sides and taking a deep breath. "Let's get ready for bed."

Bella nodded nervously and her hands slid down his chest as she stepped back. Retrieving her overnight bag she'd left at Edward's the night before in preparation, she slipped into the bathroom to change for bed.

**x-x-x**

Bella stared in the mirror as she removed the clip from her hair and watched it fall onto her shoulders. Her eyes then lowered to her left hand, where her wedding band and diamond ring still rested and a single tear trailed down her cheek. With all that had happened over the past week, she'd never took the time to realize that she still hadn't taken them off. They'd become a part of her from the moment Michael had placed them there when she was just nineteen years old, and she'd never once thought of removing them.

However, things had changed and so had her life in so many ways since that day, and the time had now come.

It was time for her to move forward and begin living the next chapter of her life… with Edward.

Sliding the rings from her finger, she brought them to her lips and kissed them gently; taking a deep breath before tucking them into the pocket of her purse and zipping it closed. She glanced in the mirror one last time before opening the door and walking across the hall into Edward's bedroom.

He lay there shirtless and the blankets covering him from the waist down, and her breath froze as she gazed at his toned, muscular chest and shoulders. Glancing up at her as he set his phone on the bedside table, a smile appeared on his lips as his eyes ran over her.

"I know, sexy, huh?" Bella said with a blush as she gazed down at her apparel; a simple tank top and boy shorts sleep set. "It was the best I could do without going out shopping. Which I _refuse_ to do anytime in the week after Christmas."

Edward's expression softened and he held out his hand for her, motioning for her to come to him. She took slow, tentative steps across the carpeted floor and took his hand, sliding into bed beside him and curling against his side. His lips brushed softly against her forehead as his arm wrapped around her, his fingers trailing along her arm. "You're beautiful, no matter what you wear."

Bella smiled as her head rested on his shoulder, watching her fingers tracing lightly along his chest. Her leg draped over his, feeling the soft, flannel fabric of his nightpants against her bare skin and enjoying the comfort of his arms around her. Even with the progression of their relationship so far, she hadn't realized how much she had missed this. Every night for the last three years, she'd been going to an empty bed and hugging a cold pillow to her chest as she fell asleep, with the exception of a few nights of Mikey climbing into bed with her after a nightmare.

The feel of a warm, masculine body beside her felt foreign, but not unwelcome. His calloused fingers running over her skin caused it to tingle, making her to ache with want. Her hand slid up his chest and curled around his neck, gently pulling him toward her into a kiss and feeling his arms tighten around her more. He turned toward her, rolling her onto her back and resting his hand on her hip. Their lips parted and she moaned as she felt his tongue glide slowly along hers, brushing her thigh lightly against his erection.

The deep groan rumbling in Edward's chest sparked a new fervor within Bella. She'd never been exceedingly bold in the bedroom with Michael, always feeling too shy to show any true initiative. However, the sexual tension between her and Edward had been mounting with every kiss and touch in the last week of their budding relationship, along with her desire to feel that intimate connection between them.

Edward's hand rested on her thigh as his leg slid between hers, tracing his fingers gently along her smooth skin. His delicate touch set every nerve in her body on edge, aching to feeling him closer. She glided her foot along the back of his leg while her arms tightened around him, arching her body against his.

Bella felt his grip tighten on her thigh and his lips parted from hers, his eyes remaining closed as he labored to control his breathing. "We have all night, Bella. We don't need to rush."

His voice was strained as he cleared his throat and she felt his forehead tighten where it rested against hers. She brought her hand to his face, pressing her lips against his softly. "I want you."

Edward opened his eyes to gaze down into hers, trailing his fingers gently along her arm to her hand and taking hold of it. His breath halted as he blindly noticed the absence of her rings, and his heart conflictingly soared and ached at the same time. Pressing his lips against her wrist, he wove his fingers between hers and took a deep breath.

Bella rolled him gently onto his back and straddled his hips, gazing down into his questioning face. "There can only be two of us in this relationship, Edward," she said softly, tracing her fingertips over his abdomen. "I need to move forward and open myself completely to the future, and loving another man."

He watched as she crossed her arms over her abdomen, lifting her top over her head and tossing it to the floor. She barely gave him a moment to take her in before she lowered her lips to his again, pressing her breasts against him. His arms slid around her, running over the bare skin of her back and groaning as her hips rolled over him.

Bella's soft whimper at the feel the length of his erection gliding against her through their thin clothing caused his arms to tighten around her and their kiss to deepen. Their bodies rocked together and her skin began tingling from her lips to her legs, her desire for him heightening with every movement. Her lips parted from his with a gasp as his hands rested on her hips, guiding her along him. She watched as his eyes fell closed and his head tilted back, feeling his chest rise against hers with a deep intake of breath. "Holy shit."

Edward's eyes opened to gaze up at her whispered exclamation, and he disappeared from her sight as her eyes fluttered closed. Her hyper-sensitive body from the years of self-imposed neglect began to heat, tension building in the pit of her stomach and spreading down into the thighs. Her muscles tightening, her breaths becoming more ragged. She'd never felt anything like this before, and definitely not from so simple an action.

Bella's hands gripped his shoulders as her tongue slid over her lips to moisten them, the vibration of his moan resonating through the both of them. She began rotating her hips in time with his movements and they inhaled sharply at the sensation it caused. "Oh god, yes."

Edward slowly rolled her over again, settling between her legs and resuming his motions against her while meeting her lips with his. Her arms slid around him and she felt his hair between her fingers at the base of his neck, as he lifted her leg higher on his hip. A thousand sensations hit her at once with the heavenly pressure this caused and his hand running slowly along her thigh, triggering a deep moan to emanate from her as her legs began to tremble. Her grip tightened as her face and throat flushed, the escalating ripples of orgasm shuddering through her.

Not explosive, not blinding… but calm, gentle, and so damn good. Her body began to go limp beneath him and a contented smile stretched across her lips.

Bella felt Edward's knuckles brushing gently across her cheek and she finally opened her eyes to gaze up at him. Her fingers traced lightly along the back of his neck as his lips ghosted over hers in soft kisses.

Once their breathing had slowed and the brushes of his lips began lingering longer on hers, she whispered, "Make love to me."

Edward's eyes locked with hers for a brief moment and her arms encircled his neck more, pulling his lips back against hers in a slow, passionate kiss. His hand slid down her side to her shorts, beginning to lower them as she lifted her hips to assist him. He kissed down her neck and chest, disappearing beneath the covers until she felt him stall at her belly button, pressing his lips against the jewelry resting there. "Never … ever … take this out."

Bella giggled softly as his voice vibrated her skin while his fingers gently lowered the fabric from her body. She became so lost in the feel of his lips moving over her abdomen that she gasped slightly when he reappeared above her, settling his now naked body atop hers. Her hands returned to his shoulders, pulling him closer to feel his skin against her, kissing him gently as he reached to the bedside table for the condom set there.

Her breath stalled in anticipation while he rolled it on and then felt him press back against her. As his hips pushed forward, she allowed her eyes to close while she adjusted to the sensation she hadn't experienced in more than three years. The weight of a warm, solid body on top of her, the feel of it joining hers as lips melted together in a passionate kiss.

Bella sighed as he filled her completely, unmoving as he rested on his elbows and traced his fingers over the strands of her hair splayed across the pillow. Her palms pressed against his back as he began moving slowly within her, their breaths mingling between them.

Again, they became lost in each other's eyes, reveling in the moment they were sharing.

Bella's body arched with a gasp as he pressed deep inside her, lowering his lips to her neck and kissing along her collarbone. She could feel the distinct tremor of his muscles beneath her fingertips and the sheen of perspiration coating his skin, brushing her lips against his temple.

"Bella… I," he panted heavily with his movements, increasing in fervor as he edged closer to release.

"Kiss me," she whispered in his ear and his face lifted, his forehead creased tightly as his lips met hers.

Edward groaned deeply against her, his hips stilling as his climax hit and his fists clutched the sheets beneath them. He kissed along her cheek as his fingers loosened their hold, resting his forehead against the pillow while he hands ran over his back.

Bella belt her smile return to her lips as she held him, allowing herself to linger in the moment for just a little longer. Everything felt so right, even as he lifted off her body and rose from the bed, heading for the bathroom. She held no regrets for what had just happened between them, and could feel nothing but pure contentment.

Turning onto her side and clutching the blankets to her chest, she rested her head on his pillow that was heavily laced with his scent. She marveled at the small details of her surroundings, every one exemplifying just how much of a bachelor he was.

His keys, wallet and phone sat in a jumbled pile on his bedside table, his shirt from earlier hanging haphazardly over the edge of the laundry basket where his pants had already fallen to the floor. And finally, the stiff texture of his bedding, clean but no fabric softener.

Edward slid back into bed behind her and brushed her hair back from her neck, kissing along her shoulder. "You're far away again."

Bella shook her head and turned to look at him, reaching back to trace her fingertips along his jaw. "No. I'm still right here with you."

His eyes gazed down into hers as he hovered above her, minutes passing slowly as he ran his hand along her side. The beeping of his phone startled her and he chuckled, reaching across the bed to shut off the alarm.

"You set an alarm?" Bella asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Well, I couldn't miss midnight, could I? I made a promise, and I knew we wouldn't stick around the entire night with Jessica there." His hand rose to cup her face gently, lowering his lips to brush against her right cheek. "One from your son."

Bella smiled and closed her eyes, feeling him move to her left cheek.

"One from your friend."

Her eyes reopened and gazed up into his eyes as he rose back up above her. "And one from your date. Happy New Year."

Bella's hand slid around his neck as his lips met hers, holding him against her before murmuring "Happy New Year" in return.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Slowly but surely, I am attempting to catch up on everything I'm writing. And again, you all have been so patient, I am so very thankful. I've gotten several inquiries into the status of DEF lately, and I can say to those who have been waiting and reading that story that I am working on the next chapter as we speak, and I'm hoping that I will be able to update that very soon, barring any more health issues. :) **

**I have had this particular part of All I Want For Christmas sitting on my computer (which thankfully was not on the harddrive that fried), and I finally finished it just in time for Armed Forces Day. I hope you all enjoy it, and a huge thanks to Erica and Amy for helping me out in a pinch. And last, but certainly not least, to every soldier serving both at home and abroad, and the families standing behind them. You are truly appreciated! **

* * *

Bella stood behind a seated Edward, the buzzer vibrating in her hand as she ran it in slow, long strips through Edward's hair. She hadn't even attempted the task in ages, but like riding a bicycle, it came back to her easily. Even as she stood fighting back tears.

Three days after attending Eric and Angela's small wedding, they'd received their deployment orders and Edward was due to leave in four days' time. They both knew it was coming, but it didn't stop the ache in her heart at the thought of letting him go after only really having him for a matter of weeks. And that night, with each strand of his hair that fell to the kitchen floor, he felt just that much farther away already.

"Uncle Edward?" Mikey's voice interrupted the silence filling the room aside from the low hum of the clippers, from his spot on the floor where he'd been playing with his Legos.

"Yeah, buddy?" Edward replied, and Bella could hear the tinge of emotion he was trying to suppress in his voice, though his face was the picture of calm.

Mikey's eyes rose up to Edward, his gaze questioning. "You're going away to fight the bad guys, huh?"

"I'm going to help the good guys, Mikey," Edward said in a reassuring voice. "I fight as little as possible, I swear."

"I don't want you to go." Mikey's eyes began to tear and they lowered back to his toys, his head shaking slightly. "What if the bad guys take you away, too?"

Bella's thumb flipped off the switch and set the buzzers on the table, her other hand rising to cover her mouth at the level of anguish present in such a young boy. She watched as Edward removed the towel from around his shoulder, standing from his chair and lifting Mikey into his arms. She wanted to go to her son, hold him and tell him that everything was going to be okay, even if she wasn't sure of it herself.

However, as Mikey's arms clung around Edward's neck and he buried his face into the man's shoulder, she could see plain as day that she was not who he needed right then. Edward had been the only man in his life that he could remember; the closest thing to a father he'd ever known. And while it was not the first of Edward's deployments in Mikey's memory, it would definitely be the hardest with the recent changes.

"I've got a lot of good men on my back, Mikey. And they'll do everything they can to help me come home to you and your mom," Edward replied, his eyes closed as he pressed his lips to Mikey's hair. It was obvious that he was attempting to comfort him, as well as not make a promise to him that he might not be able to keep. "And you're gonna take good care of your mom while I'm gone, right?"

Mikey nodded silently as his hold tightened, nuzzling his face into Edward's shoulder.

Edward's eyes met Bella's, wordlessly requesting a moment alone with him before making his way down the hall and into Mikey's bedroom. Sitting on the edge of the bed, he felt the little boy's arms loosen on his neck as he settled him onto his lap.

Mikey's eyes rose to look at him, the tip of his thumb between his teeth. "I'm scared, Edward."

"I know, bud," Edward replied, kissing his forehead and then gazing back down at him. "But I'm gonna tell you a little secret. Just between you and me, you can't even tell your mom."

Mikey shifted in Edward's lap to face him, his arms returning around his neck with a sniffle. "A secret?"

Edward nodded, securing his hold around the little boy. "Yup. But _just_ between us, promise?"

"I promise," Mikey replied, resting his small hand on Edward's cheek.

Edward rested his forehead against his, gazing at him seriously before whispering. "I'm a little scared, too."

Mikey pulled back a little, tilting his head and furrowing his brow. "But soldiers don't _get_ scared."

"Oh, there are things that even scare soldiers, Mikey," Edward replied.

Mikey pursed his lips, his tears all but halting as he climbed off Edward's lap and rested his head on with pillow with his inquisitive eyes gazing up at him. "Like what?"

"Well," Edward started, lying down beside him and propping his head up on his hand. "Like how big you'll be by the time I get back. How sad your mommy is going to be while I'm gone. So, I'm really going to need your help to keep her smiling for me, okay?"

Mikey nodded again and rolled onto his side, maneuvering Edward's dogtags between his fingers. "Are you gonna miss us?"

Edward lowered his head beside the little boy's on the pillow and slid his arms around him, finding it more difficult to hold back tears than any other time in his memory. "More than you'll ever know, Mikey. I'm going to miss you both _so_ much."

"Then don't go," Mikey cried, snuggling into Edward's chest.

"I have to, buddy. It's my job," Edward whispered as he gently stroked Mikey's hair.

"When will you be back?"

Edward had been dreading that question, knowing a child could never understand the uncertainty that came with each deployment; could be months, could be a year—or more. There was just never any way of knowing. So, he gave him the only answer he could. "The minute the Army tells me I can, Mikey. But I will write and call every chance I get. Don't want you forgetting me, after all."

Mikey's lip trembled as he shook his head, hugging Edward tightly. "I won't. You're an awesome dad, and I want you back soon."

Edward kissed the top of his head, continuing to lie with him until his quiet sobs silenced and he looked down to find Mikey fast asleep. He shifted as carefully as he could to rise from the bed, covering him with his blanket and turning on his nightlight. He stood silently in the doorway to look at him for a second longer before turning off the overhead light and closing the door all but a crack.

As he turned to head back to the living room, he found Bella there in the hallway, leaning back against the wall with tears streaming down her face. He stepped toward her and slid his arms around her shoulders, hugging her against his chest. "I _am_ coming home, Bella."

"I wish I had your confidence," she murmured softly against him, her grip tightening around his waist. "It was hard enough to think of you halfway around the world in the middle of all that danger before. But now—"

"But now," he interrupted and pulled back, taking her face between his hands and waiting for her eyes to open. "I have even _more_ reason to make it back in one piece. I may not have a ring on your finger and Mikey may not be mine biologically, but you're my family, Bella. My future is here with you and him."

Bella kissed him back with fervor when his lips lowered to hers, her palms pressing firmly against his back to hold him closer. When they finally parted, her fingers gripped the back of his t-shirt as their foreheads rested together. "I don't want to wait, Edward."

Panic struck Edward's heart with her words, swallowing hard as he opened his eyes to look at her. "What?'

Bella looked up at him quickly with his breathless response and shook her head, taking his hands and pulling them away from outside Mikey's door to keep the conversation between them. "No, I'm going to wait for _you_. But I don't want to wait to be _yours_. I want to marry you and be a real family, _before _you go."

Edward gazed at her in stunned bewilderment, taken aback by her statement. Over the passing weeks, they had discussed the possibility of getting married once he returned from his deployment. With everything in their relationship progressing as it had, it felt natural, but he hadn't expected it to come up again in that way. "Bella, we don't need to rush. I have every intention of marrying you when I get back."

"Do you not _want_ to get married yet?" Bella asked, her eyes tearing a little in embarrassment. "I mean, it's okay if you don't."

"No, it's not that. Come here," Edward replied softly, kissing her forehead and leading her back down the hall toward her room. Closing the door behind them, he walked with her over to the bed and sat down beside her. "I just think you deserve something a lot better than a quick, civil ceremony in a courthouse. You could plan everything while I'm gone and then I can marry you the right way when I come home."

"There _is_ no 'right way' to get married. All that's really important is that we're both there," Bella spoke in a quiet voice, her eyes still lowered to her lap. "I know this is all still relatively new with us and it seems like I'm rushing, but I'm not. If it's too soon for you, though, I understand."

"Bella," Edward said suddenly, turning her face with his fingertips and placing a gentle kiss on her lips. "You're rambling. And if this is something you really want, then I would love nothing more than for you to be my wife and make our family official. Even if it means eloping."

"You would?" Bella asked tentatively, her smile growing as she moved onto his lap, kissing him firmly when he nodded. "Are you staying tonight?"

Edward smirked against her lips and secured his hold around her waist. "Well, considering I've just been proposed to by my girlfriend, I think a celebration might be in order."

Bella laughed as he wiggled his eyebrows, biting his lip in a smile as he flipped her back to lie on the bed beneath him. Hovering above her for a moment, he gazed down at her face before lowering his lips to hers and she melted into his kiss, wrapping her arms around his shoulders and hooking her leg around his. "Lock the door."

**x-x-x**

"But you _can't_ get married yet!" Mikey exclaimed the following morning, shooting up off the couch and taking both Edward and Bella by surprise with his reaction. They'd expected him to be excited about their news, but instead, he appeared as if he were about to burst into tears.

Bella leaned forward and took his hands gently in hers, rubbing her thumbs over his knuckles as she pulled him closer. "What's the matter, baby? Do you not _want_ us to get married?"

Mikey's head lowered and a slight blush colored his cheeks at his outburst. "No. I mean, I want you guys to get married and all, but," he paused, turning his gaze over to Edward. "Mommy is supposed to have a ring. A big diamond one. And it's supposed to be in a big church, with bells and stuff. And Mommy in a big white dress, and cake. And a honeymoon."

Edward and Bella exchanged a glance and she bit her lip. She'd never imagined that her little boy would have put so much thought into it, and she was torn between what she wanted with Edward and making her son happy.

"Mikey, come here," Edward said softly, turning his attention back to Mikey and holding out his arms to him. The little boy climbed into his lap and rested his head on his shoulder, snuggling against his chest. "Your mom and I getting married now doesn't mean that all those other things can never happen. When I get back, I can buy your mom her ring and we can have a big wedding and a honeymoon and everything."

"But you'll already be married. You can't get married _again_," Mikey mumbled with his hand gripping the front of Edward's shirt. "Is it because you think you'll die?"

Edward drew in a deep breath, hugging Mikey more tightly as Bella's eyes rose to the ceiling, blinking back more tears. He'd hoped that their talk the night before had alleviated at least some of his fears, but it was obvious that wasn't the case. And that thought alone caused his heart to ache. "No, buddy. That's not the reason. I want to marry your mom because we love each other and want for us to be a family. I'm not going to die, Mikey."

Bella quickly turned her gaze to Edward, her eyes widening and she shook her head. They'd always made a point of never saying things like that to Mikey, since he'd always taken everything Edward said to heart, like law.

Edward wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her to his side, holding them both against him. "I love you both very, very much. And I'm coming home to you."

"We love you, too," Mikey replied, his small arms stretching out in an attempt to embrace them both at once. "So, you guys can get married again?"

"Yes, baby. It can be like a big party," Bella replied, running her hand over his hair. "With cake and everything."

A small smile broke through on Mikey's face, and he nodded. "Then I want you to get married now."

**x-x-x**

Two days later, Edward stood beside the justice watching Bella walk toward him holding a single white rose and Mikey beside her, holding her hand. Wearing a simple white dress and her soft brown hair pulled back away from her face, he couldn't remember a single moment that she'd ever looked more beautiful.

When they reached him, Mikey straightened more and pushed out his chest, looking to the man in front of them, who smiled and said, "Who gives this woman to this man?"

"I do," Mikey replied proudly as he stepped in front of the two, taking Edward's hand and placing his mother's into it.

"Thank you, sir," Edward said with a grin as the little boy moved to stand on the other side of him.

They'd had a difficult time getting Mikey to bed the night before with the excitement that not only would he be the one to give his mother away, but that Edward had also asked him to be the best man. He held the rings tightly in his fist as Edward and Bella exchanged their vows, chanting over and over in his head "Don't drop them" until he was asked to hand them to the justice.

Edward took Bella's hand as he turned to face her, clearing his throat before he began to speak the words he'd written the previous night. "Bella, it's hard to remember a moment in my life that you weren't a part of it. No matter where I've gone, or how far away I've been, I've always had the comfort of knowing that I had a true friend waiting for me at home. And today, I can't feel anything but truly blessed, because now, I'm coming home to my friend, my love, and my wife, and I'm one of the lucky ones that all three reside in one person. And I promise to continue to come home to you and love you for the rest of our lives."

Tears blurred Bella's vision as he turned to take her ring between his fingers and slowly glided it onto her finger. She blinked repeatedly to clear her eyes, taking a calming breath. "Edward, I used to think that happily ever after only existed in fairy tales. That there were no knights in shining armor to save damsels in distress and ride off into the sunset. It took me a long time to see that another chance at happiness had been standing in front of me all along. My best friend, holding my hand and making me smile when all I could do was cry, standing by my side through good times and bad. And has proven to me that knights in shining armor really do exist, and I'm so lucky that mine fell in love with me, too. I can finally look to my future with hope, with you."

Edward's smile widened with each word, his eyes never leaving her as she placed the ring on his finger. His hands rested on her waist and he pulled her closer to him as they were pronounced husband and wife, lowering his lips to hers. Bella's arms encircled his shoulders and she lifted onto her toes, holding him more tightly and melting against him.

Mikey tugged lightly on Edward's suit jacket and the kiss broke, and they both looked down at him. "I want Mommy's cake."

Edward laughed as he bent down to lift Mikey and settle him onto his hip, wrapping his other arm around Bella's shoulders. "Too much kissing for ya, little man?"

Mikey wrinkled his nose and nodded. "It was kinda gross."

**x-x-x**

After spending the day with Mikey, Edward and Bella kissed him goodbye when his grandmother came to pick him up for the night, allowing them one night alone as newlyweds before his deployment began. She leaned back against the door as it closed, gazing at her new husband with a smile.

That night, they'd promised to focus on only each other, enjoying their time together without any other thought. For one night, the world outside could disappear.

Bella felt a shiver travel down her spine as her eyes ran along the length of Edward's form. They hadn't changed when they'd arrived back at her apartment, but he'd shed his jacket and tie, unfastening the first few buttons of his shirt and rolling up the sleeves. He was unbelievably sexy, and he was hers—and she was inexplicably nervous.

Everything suddenly felt so different, so much more than just being married. The emotion coursing through her as she gazed at him was amplified, overwhelming her, and she felt as if her legs might give out from under her with the way they were trembling.

"Baby, are you okay?" Edward asked worriedly, stepping toward her as she remained stationary by the door and taking her hands. She nodded and slid her fingers between his, leaning her forehead against his chest and feeling his lips resting against her hair. "Sorry you married me?"

Bella looked up at the teasing tone in his voice and met his eyes, laughing softly as she released his hands and linked hers behind his neck. "Not even a little. I just feel like it's the first time all over again. More than just the first time as husband and wife, and I know that's crazy."

"Bella," Edward began, sweeping her into his arms and carrying her into the bedroom. "That's not crazy at all. How do you know I didn't use all my best moves on you _before_ we were married?"

Bella rolled her eyes and met his lips with hers as he set her back on the floor, stroking his cheek lightly with her fingertips as they parted. "I still think you'd be pretty safe."

Her hands trailed down the front of his shirt, unbuttoning it the remainder of the way and sliding it down his arms until it fell to the floor. Their eyes locked as he gently took hold of her face, all teasing gone from his gaze and she was astounded by everything she saw within their depths.

So much love and adoration for her, desire burning deeper than anything she'd ever seen before. And he kissed her with such gentle, yet intense, passion, she lost all other thought but the feel of his body pressed against hers. Heat radiated from every bare sliver of their skin that touched, as well as from his fingers as they lowered the zipper on the back of her dress.

Bella stepped away from him, allowing it to pool at her feet and working her way back to kneel at the edge of the bed, facing him. As he moved closer to her, she reached down to unbuckle his belt and unfastened his pants, pushing the clothing down off his hips until he was standing before her, completely bared to her. Edward climbed onto the bed with her, capturing her lips again as he lowered them back and pulled the covers over them. The weight of his body on top of her caused her to moan softly with pleasure, gripping his shoulders with her fingertips and wrapping her leg around him.

"I love you," she whispered against his lips, her heart pounding in rhythm with his as their breaths increased in anticipation.

"I love you, too … Mrs. Cullen," he replied with a smirk and her eyes opened to find his sparkling even in the dim light of the room. He kissed her gently once more before moving down her neck to the swell of her breast. The lace of her bra prickled at the corner of his mouth and he slid his hand beneath her to unhook the clasp, pulling the garment free from her body and sealing his lips over her nipple.

Bella's hand rose to run along the soft, short hair on the back of his head, arching her back against him. His lips caused chills in their wake as he kissed down her abdomen, hooking his fingers in the sides of her panties and guiding them down her legs. She felt the scruff of his five o'clock shadow tickle her inner thigh and released a soft gasp in response, followed by a moan as he reappeared above her. The warm skin of his chest settled against hers and they said nothing more, gazing into each other's eyes as he pressed inside her and lowered his lips to hers.

Edward's fingers traced along the outside of her thigh as he began to move, watching her face as he raised it up beside his hip. She tilted her head back with a gasp, biting her lip out of habit to keep from making too much noise. "It's just us, Bella."

A deep groan emanated from her at his whispered words, and her arms clung around his shoulders tightly. Tears began to form in her eyes with every movement of his hips, every one of his breaths against her face, emotions flooding her more every second. Edward was her husband; he was making love to her for the first time as his wife. He was in her arms, warm and safe, and she wanted to hold onto that moment for as long as she could. She relished in the feel of his back muscles flexing beneath her fingertips and the soft, tender brushes of his lips against hers. As the moisture slipped from the corner of her eye, she held him tightly and turned them over to move on top of him.

Edward closed his eyes and kissed along her collarbone as his fingers gripped her back, her hips rolling against him and sending pleasurable tremors though his entire body. The scent of her hair and the taste of her skin engulfed him, and his hands moved to her hips, guiding her over him. In all the times they'd been together, he'd never felt as he did in that moment; only seeing and feeling her, the unbridled passion in her every move and breath. It would be a moment he would remember and carry with him for the rest of his life.

"Bella," he grunted softly against her neck, his hold on her tightening as his breaths became more erratic, and he flipped them over again. After just a few thrusts, his orgasm claimed him and he groaned deeply as he released.

Bella held him securely as his body settled against her. She kissed along his shoulder to his neck, tears falling freely from her eyes.

Edward lifted his head to look at her, wiping away the trail down her temple. "Baby, what's wrong?"

"Nothing," she replied with a shake of her head, pulling him into a kiss and absorbing everything she could of him; the feeling of his lips gliding over hers, the movement of his hand along her side to her hip, every sound he made echoing through the still room. "I can't help it. I just wish we had more time."

Edward rolled off her and pulled her against his side, tracing his fingertips along her back while hers made tiny patterns on his chest. "There'll be plenty more nights when I get back, Bella. We still have a lot to look forward to."

"I know," she whispered softly, hugging herself tighter to him and felt his lips press against her forehead. "And our wedding night isn't over yet."

Edward raised an eyebrow as he looked down to her as she began kissing up his neck and rolled her body on top of him again, straddling his hips. As he gazed up at her, her fingers slid between his on either side of his head, and his arms slid above him to lower her face down to his more. "I can definitely sleep on the plane."

**x-x-x**

Mikey fought hard against the tears forming in his eyes as he stood holding his mother's hand, as Edward was giving her one last kiss in preparation to leave. He'd never come to one of his departures before, but saying goodbye to him that time around felt particularly hard. It seemed like he had only just gotten everything he wanted—his mom smiling again, and a dad—and, just as quickly, Edward had to leave again.

"I love you," Mikey heard him whisper to Bella, followed by her soft reply, standing up a little taller as Edward crouched down in front of him and took his hands. "You're gonna be good for your mom for me, right? Help her out lots?"

Mikey nodded with a quivering lip, wrapping his arms around Edward's neck and hugging him tightly as Bella took a slow, deep breath to rein in her emotions. "I promise."

"I love you, buddy," Edward said, kissing the top of his head and holding back tear of his own.

"I love you, too, Dad," Mikey replied, earning soft gasps from both Edward and Bella. Through their time together, he had never directly called Edward "dad", though he'd made several references to it, and the moment took them both by surprise. The little boy pulled back to look between them, settling his gaze on the man in front of him. "You and Mommy got married. I can call you 'dad' now, right?"

Edward looked up to find Bella rolling her eyes back and biting her lip as she ran her hand over Mikey's hair. "Yes, Mikey. You absolutely can."

"Good. I made you something to take with you to Afgamistan," Mikey replied, taking his little backpack off and reaching inside as Edward and Bella fought chuckles at his slight mispronunciation. He retrieved a folded, brightly colored piece of paper, waiting for Edward to open it to see his drawing, with pictures of their faces glued onto each figure he'd drawn, and "Mommy, Daddy, and Mikey" written above in his messy scrawl. "I drawed it for you last night at Grandma's. She gave me the pictures and helped me cut them out. Now we can be with you, even way over there."

"Thank you, little man. I love it, and I'll keep it with me all the time," Edward said with a smile, pulling him back into his arms for a moment before the soldiers were called to board.

Bella lowered herself behind Mikey, placing her hands on his sides as he tightened his hold around Edward. "Baby, Dad has to go."

The word felt foreign on her lips as well, but the smile that touched Edward's eyes as she spoke it caused her heart to melt. And that was the moment they finally felt like a real family.

Mikey slowly loosened his arms around Edward and kissed his cheek before looking at him. "Be safe."

"I will. And I'll call you as soon as I can, okay?" he replied and Mikey nodded, stepping back from him as Edward stood again with Bella, kissing her once more and turning to join his unit.

Mikey leaned his head against his mother's hip, crying as he watched Edward walk away and tuck the drawing into his pocket. "He'll be home soon, right, Mom?"

Bella waved back to Edward as he looked to them one last time and blew them a kiss before disappearing inside the plane. "Yeah, he'll be home soon, baby."


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Hope you all enjoy this, even though it's been a while again. Thanks for sticking along with me for the ride. :)**

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"Mom. Mom! Hurry! Dad's calling!" Mikey exclaimed as he ran through the apartment when the laptop began to ring in the kitchen with an incoming Skype call. "Can I get it?"

"No!" Bella cried out, hurrying over to the table once she'd turned the burner off on the stove. "Go wash the jelly off your fingers."

"But Mom!"

"I mean it, now," she replied firmly, moving the cursor with her fingertip to accept the call as Mikey ran down the hall to the bathroom. The pixelated image cleared as much as she knew she could expect and the static sound of the background noise filled the speakers. "Hey there, soldier."

"Hey, baby. How are you?" Edward replied with an unmistakable smile on his face, and she found herself running her fingertip absentmindedly over his image.

"Good. Got a call back from housing and it looks like we could be in the new house by the end of the month. But how are you?" she asked anxiously, trying to squeeze in as much as she could into the limited time she knew she would have with him.

Mikey clammered into his mother's lap and smiled as he gazed at Edward. "Hi, Dad! Did you get the cookies me and Mommy made for you?"

Edward smirked, raising one of the aforementioned cookies to his lips and taking a bite. Causing Mikey to giggle and bounce more excitedly on Bella's legs. "They are the best cookies _ever_, buddy," he replied, and then his eyes met his wife's again. "I'm doing okay, baby. I miss you guys, but I'll be home before you know it."

"I know. We miss you, too, honey. We can't wait for you to come home." Bella fought to hold the smile on her face while trying to keep the tears in her eyes from forming.

"Yeah, 'cause guess what?" Mikey said, rocking back and forth.

Bella attempted to hold him still and shook her head, rustling his hair lightly with her fingers. "Mikey made the honor roll with his progress report. Highest grades in the entire kindergarten class."

"Mom!" Mikey groaned through clenched teeth with his eyes widened, wiggling more on her lap.

"All right, Mikey. You obviously have something to say. Spit it out," Edward said with a laugh, unable to ignore Mikey's anxious behavior.

"I'm gonna be the big brother!" Mikey announced loudly, throwing his arms in the air and barely missing his mother's face.

Edward's breath halted and his features shifted momentarily with widened eyes and slackened jaw. He watched Bella biting her lip and running her fingers through the loose hair in front that had fallen from its tie. She nodded as her eyes met his, while still seeming slightly nervous, and his smile returned as he looked back to Mikey. "That is awesome news, buddy. I've only got a couple more minutes, though. Can I talk to your mom real quick?"

"Yep!" Mikey nodded excitedly and blew a kiss to Edward with his hand. "Bye, Dad! Love you!"

"I love you, too, Mikey," Edward replied, waiting as the little boy climbed down from Bella's lap and disappeared from the room. "You're pregnant?"

"Yeah," Bella responded with a sigh. "That wasn't the way I wanted to tell you. But I had to take Mikey with me to the doctor's because they had a half day at school I forgot about, and he's been busting at the seams ever since. "

"From that _one_ night?" Edward asked, his eyes widening more.

"Well, one of the four _times_ that night, but yes. It only _takes_ once, Edward," Bella said with a small chuckle, tilting her head slightly as she gazed at him. "Are you happy?"

Edward's expression shifted once gain at her questioning tone, softening and he wished more than ever, if only for a second, he could reach out and touch her.

His thoughts drifted back to the night before their wedding, once Mikey had finally gone to sleep. As they lay in bed, they began talking about their expectations for the future and, naturally, the following evening. Not only was it their wedding night, but it was also the only one they would have together as husband and wife before he was half a world away. While risky, they both agreed that they simply wanted to be together, enjoy each other without a single thought to the precautions they'd been taking in the handful of times they'd made love in the preceding weeks. Leaving everything to fate, even though she admitted to him that the thought of having another baby alone scared her a little.

However, they had finally had "the talk" about children as well. After weighing all the pros and cons on both sides of the table, they each agreed that they at least wanted one more—a child together, making their family all the more solidified.

"Baby, the only thing making me _un_happy at this moment is that I'm not there to kiss you and show you how much I love you, rather than just tell you," he replied and watched the smile return to her lips. "I didn't think it was possible to love you more, but apparently, I was _very_ wrong."

"Well, soon there will be plenty of me to love if this pregnancy is anything like the one with Mikey," Bella teased, trying to keep their conversation light while fear tugged at her heart—something she would not let him see.

Edward released a heavy sigh and assumed the expression she'd become exceedingly familiar with—the goodbye face. His tensed brow, his tightened lips, the creases around his eyes disappearing along with his smile … and lastly, the words. "Times up, baby. I gotta go. I'll give you another call as soon as I possibly can. I love you, Bella."

Bella forced a smile while fighting back the tears that came with every goodbye. "I love you, too, Edward."

With one last smile, his face disappeared from her screen and the room fell silent around her as she sat back in her chair, rolling her eyes back to stare at the ceiling for a moment. "Mikey, it's time to get ready for bed, baby."

A little blonde head appeared in her peripheral vision and she looked to her side as Mikey slid his arms around hers. "Mom? If babies are a good thing, then why do they make mommies cry all the time? Do they hurt in your tummy?"

Bella released a soft laugh, watching Mikey's face scrunch in frustration and resumed as solemn of an expression as she could. "No, my tummy doesn't hurt at all. And I'm very happy about the baby."

"Me, too." Mikey drew in a deep breath, sighing heavily as he leaned his head against Bella's arm. "But you cry a _lot_. And Maggie Fischer at school said that when her mom had her brother in her tummy, she cried _all_ the time and then more after the baby was _out_ of her tummy. Is that gonna happen to you, too, Mom?"

Bella kissed the top of his head and wrapped her arms around him, hugging him tightly against her. "I don't think so. I'm not crying because of the baby, Mikey. I just miss Dad a lot right now, and wish he could be here."

"Mommy?" Mikey asked with his eyes lowered, snuggling against her chest more as she hummed in response. "Did you cry like this about my other dad when I was in your tummy?"

Bella bit her lip as she looked down to him and his questioning blue eyes rose to meet hers. He so rarely mentioned his real father in any way, the surprise from his statement took her several moments to overcome. "Um. Yeah, I guess I did. I was very happy to be having _you_, I was just very sad that your father couldn't be there and I missed him a lot."

"More than Edward?" Mikey asked sadly, lowering his head again.

Bella closed her eyes and released a slow breath, trying with everything in her to keep herself composed. He hadn't called Edward by his name since the day he left for Afghanistan, and even after such a short space of time, it sounded odd on his lips. She took his hand and led him to his room, getting him ready for bed and then sat down beside him after tucking him in. "Mikey, your father was a very special man, and he was very important to me. There's not a single day that passes that I don't think about him, or see him in something you do. A part of me will always love him. He gave me you." Mikey sighed and nodded, his face falling more. She tipped his chin back up to look at her and shook her head. "But that doesn't mean that I love or miss Edward any less than I loved and missed your father. _He's_ very special to me, too."

"Because he gave you my little brother or sister?" Mikey inquired, snuggling against her side and placing his small hand over her stomach.

Bella chuckled again and rested her own hand on top of his. "Well, that's not _all_, but yeah. That's definitely part of it."

"You really do love Edward, don't you, Mom?" Mikey asked with a slightly nervous tone to his voice, almost as if worried about her response.

Bella fought to hold back more tears, but her smile grew as she nodded. "Yes, I _really_ do."

Mikey sighed contentedly, removing his hand from her and replacing it with his cheek. Tapping lightly on her still-flat abdomen with his fingertip, he whispered, "Hey, little brother or sister. You gotta hurry up and get big and strong so you can come out. We got the bestest mommy and daddy in the _world_. And _please_ be a little brother."

**x-x-x**

In the quiet of her own bedroom later that evening, she slid into one of the t-shirts Edward had left at her apartment and climbed into bed, nuzzling under the covers. Her eyes burned from every tear she'd held back all day long, for Edward and for Mikey, and she finally let them flow as her hand ran over the empty pillow beside her.

She knew damn well it would be difficult to give him the news that simultaneously brought her inexplicable joy and overwhelming sadness—she'd been through it all before, with small differences.

When Bella found out she was pregnant with Mikey while on their brief "honeymoon" before he was scheduled to deploy a few days later, she and Michael had been ecstatic. But while he'd actually been there with her when she got the test results, there was still the looming knowledge that within days, she would be pregnant and alone.

However, even the slight differences felt astronomical at that moment.

She'd spent the night in Michael's arms in the bed they'd shared for over a year, when she found out she was pregnant with Mikey; Edward was already thousands of miles away, and she was left clinging to a pillow that had cradled his head only a handful of times.

After Michael had gone overseas, she was able to sit in their closet for hours at a time, engulfing herself in the scent of his clothes in moments of intensified loneliness; as she'd realized that night, she only had a few of Edward's t-shirts that he'd left at her apartment, with the trace hints of his scent barely clinging to the fabric.

Her mind was so innocent and things were so much simpler back then, caught in the romanticized life of being married to a soldier; now, she couldn't pray hard enough that her soldier would make it home to see the beautiful life they created together.

But as she gazed at the band encircling her left ring finger, thinking about the man who placed it there weeks before, she also couldn't deny one other unmistakable feeling—that of being completely and utterly in love with someone, and having that love returned just as strongly.

**x-x-x**

Edward walked back outside to return to his unit, his mind in a daze.

Bella was pregnant. His baby was growing inside her, a part of him still with her even while he was thousands of miles away. Bella was pregnant. When he returned home that time, there would most likely be a new face there to greet him. _Bella was pregnant!_

A smile grew on his lips and his fist pumped at his side, earning several raised eyebrows and curious gazes from the men and women around him. He knew his behavior would raise questions and that it was far from his usual demeanor following a phone call to his wife, but he didn't care. He still missed Bella and Mikey more than he could ever express. Still could hardly wait to be back home and in her arms, and to play with trains and Legos with Mikey again. To have time together as a complete family. But the news Bella had just given him added an entirely new element to it all.

Edward thought back to the moment that Michael found out that his son was born. The tears in his eyes as he proudly announce that he had a baby boy and that he didn't care who saw them, even in the middle of the desert. The embrace they'd shared in celebration of Mikey's birth.

Then he thought of the first time he saw Mikey, only a couple of months old at the time, and how nervous he'd been about holding him for the first time. Michael had taken to it so naturally, instantly in love with his son. But still, it was like no other feeling in the world when the tiny baby was placed in Edward's arms, gazing up at him with his big blue eyes. It was amazing and intense, and something he never thought he would experience again.

Yet, when he returned from deployment, whenever that might be, he _would _be experiencing it again. Only it would be _his_ baby gazing up at him, nestled against his chest. The realization was both exciting and terrifying.

He loved Mikey with all his heart, and couldn't love him more if he were his own son—that would never change. It was just the idea that it would be so much different watching Bella's waistline expand that time around; she was his wife with their baby growing inside her.

Another smile touched his lips at that thought as he reached his unit, grinning like an idiot as he proudly announced, "Bella's pregnant!"

**x-x-x**

Mikey sat coloring at the kitchen table as his mother spoke quietly on the phone, telling Edward about the doctor's appointment she'd had the day before. His head rested on his arm as his eyes locked on the paper, scribbling furiously.

"And now that I'm into my second trimester, I can make it from the bedroom to the kitchen without a pit stop in the bathroom. I thought I would escape morning sickness this time, but it just took its time creeping up on me. But the baby bump is definitely more noticeable now. So, soon I'll be trading nausea for sleepless nights with acrobatics," she chuckled, running her hand over the still very slight swell of her abdomen beneath the oversized t-shirt. Her eyes moved to Mikey at the table and sighed, thinking of a conversation between her and Mikey a few days prior. "Hey baby, I know you only have a few minutes, but I think Mikey has something to talk to you about."

Mikey's eyes widened and his head shot up, shaking it violently in response to his mother's words as she made her way across the room toward him. "No way, Mom. Uh-uh."

"Dad's not going to be mad at you. Just talk to him," Bella whispered, watching his eyes begin to tear and his lip tremble.

Mikey took the phone from her hand and brought it to his ear slowly with a sniffle. "Hi, Dad."

"Hey, buddy. What's going on?" Edward replied and Mikey's tears increased, looking up to his mother as she gently urged him to continue. "Mikey? Is something wrong?"

Mikey lowered his head, his eyes falling to the floor shamefully as he whispered, "I don't want the baby to come out of Mommy's tummy."

"Okay," Edward responded slowly and took a long breath in. "Any special reason why? I thought you were excited to be having a little brother or sister?"

"I was. I am," Mikey said softly, glancing at Bella again as she sat down beside him, running her hand over his hair. "But you're gonna love the new baby more than me. Because you're the _real_ daddy."

Bella felt her heart clench inside her chest just as intensely as it had when she'd first heard him say it, and she lifted him onto her lap as he cradled the phone to his ear.

At his birthday party few days earlier, Mikey had been uncharacteristically sullen and uninterested in anything going on around him. Even though it was a beautiful early July day, he didn't want to play or go into the pool, and even half-heartedly opened his presents. And that night, when she'd uploaded the video of the ultrasound she'd had done onto the computer, he'd run from the room crying as soon as he heard the baby's heartbeat through the speakers.

When she'd finally gotten him calmed down enough, he explained that some of the kids at the party had told him he'd be less important now that she and Edward were having a baby together. And no amount of her consoling or reassuring him had made a difference at all, and he'd started going to sleep at night, hugging a picture of Edward with Mikey on his shoulders at the park the year before. He was so afraid of losing the only father figure he could remember, he was holding onto every last shred of him that he could.

"Oh, Mikey," Edward sighed, his voice pained. "There is no chance of that at all."

"There isn't?" Mikey asked in a small voice with his head resting against Bella's chest.

"Of course not. I love you very, very much. And you're my train building partner, bud."

"But you could build trains with the new baby, too," Mikey replied sadly at the thought, his voice lowering.

"That's my special thing with _you_, Mikey. That's not going to change with a new baby. And who caught that huge trout with me out at the lake last summer?"

"Me."

"And who's the first one I always give a huge hug to when I come home, no matter what?"

Mikey's lips began to twitch slightly at the corners with Edward's words, turning on Bella's lap to lean back against her. "Me. 'Cause I run super fast."

"Yes, you certainly do," Edward replied with a chuckle and then it faded as he took on a more serious tenor. "Listen, I _am_ very excited about and love the new baby very much. I may be the baby's real father, but that doesn't make me any less your _dad_. You always have been and always will be very important to me, and I _chose_ to be your dad. That makes you pretty special, too, doesn't it?"

Mikey's smile grew more with every statement from Edward, until he was biting his lip with a nod. "Yup, and I choosed you."

Edward laughed and took a deep breath. "That's right. And I _love_ being your dad, okay, champ?"

"Okay. I love you, Dad," Mikey said, and once Edward returned the sentiment, he held the phone up to Bella's ear. "Tell Mom you love her, too!"

Edward laughed as the exuberance he'd come to expect from Mikey return as he yelled up into the phone from Bella's lap. "I love you, baby."

"I love you, too. Stay safe," Bella replied in a soft tone, unconsciously leaning her head toward the phone.

"I will, I promise. Good night, Bella."

"Good night, Edward," she whispered before the call ended.

"Afgamistan is weird. Why do they have to have nighttime in the middle of the day?" Mikey huffed, sliding off Bella's lap to return to his chair and his drawing.

"Afgha-_ni_-stan," Bella corrected, as Mikey still struggled with pronouncing the word.

"_Mom_," Mikey groaned, throwing his head back dramatically. "That's what I said. Afgamistan!"

Bella smiled, standing up and kissing his forehead, leaving him to finish his drawing.


	5. Chapter 5

**Thank you all so much for your patience. As was the case with DEF, I have been having a lot of difficulty with inspiration lately, and have been trying to jump start my brain by collab-ing with ericastwilight on a few one shots that have recently been posted. Another one we have written together will be in the Fandom for Leukemia and Lymphoma Society compilation , taking donations until September 30, 2011. For more information, check out their blog, fandom4lls(.)blogspot(.)com, or follow them on Twitter, Fandom4LLS.**

**Thanks again and take care everyone!**

* * *

**All I Want for Christmas 5**

"_Everything's just been so hard, you know? I just had to sell off the house on Nantucket, like it wasn't bad enough having to move back in with my parents. And now, I've lost my car and my vacation house. It's like, you'd think he would have had a better life insurance policy or something, with being in the Army and all. But no, Tyler never thought ahead to what might happen to me if something like this happened. Had a superhero complex, or something."_

_Bella's hands began trembling on her lap in clenched fists, hot tears burning in her eyes before streaking down her face. She never wanted to come to that damn place, and now, she wanted nothing more than to leave as fast as she could. She never particularly liked Jessica from the first "girls' night out" that Michael had encouraged her to go to when they first arrived on post. He had the best of intentions, wanting her to make friends and have a night without diaper changes and a crying toddler. A night to just be Bella._

_An hour into the evening, she found herself just wanting to go home to her husband and son, get back to normal. She had nothing in common with any of the women at the table of the bar, didn't like to drink, and wasn't a social butterfly type, even in high school. And she definitely didn't think her life was bad enough to complain about every single aspect of it; she was happy to be a housewife and mom._

_But that "support" group meeting was the last straw. It had been six months since both Michael and Jessica's husband, Tyler, were killed in combat, and for Bella, the pain was still as fresh as if she'd just gotten the news that morning. She felt the tears streaming in scalding trails down her cheeks, bringing unwanted attention to her._

"_Bella, are you okay?" Angela, the group mediator, asked once Jessica finally stopped speaking. _

_Bella immediately began shaking her head, her nails digging into the palms of her hands. "No, I'm actually not. I really don't think I belong here."_

"_Everyone is welcome here, Bella. To share anything they wish," she tried to say encouragingly, since it was the first time Bella had uttered a single word past introduction in the three weeks she'd been attending the meetings. _

_Bella's eyes rose, reddened and swollen, looking across the circle, directly at Jessica as more tears fell. "I guess it really is hard losing a vacation house and a Mercedes and having a husband so inconsiderate as to not anticipate dying so young, let alone not leaving you enough money for all these things. But you know, some of us are actually heartbroken over the fact that we lost the love of our lives, fathers, brothers, sons. Have children that are going to grow up only knowing their fathers through pictures and other people's memories instead of their own because they are too young to remember themselves. Or worse, children who are mourning just as deeply as their mothers because their dads are never coming home. I know that I, for one, would eagerly give up everything to have one more day with Michael. To watch him holding our son and seeing their smiles. And not go to bed at night and cry myself to sleep because I will never feel his arms around me again. No amount of money or houses or cars could ever replace what my son and I have lost. So yeah, I don't think I belong here."_

_Bella grabbed her purse and stood quickly as a sob escaped her body, rushing out the door and into the parking lot. She thought by then that her tears would have run out, that the searing pain in her heart would have at least ebbed. That she would still miss Michael, but not in the crippling, all-consuming way still raging through her. _

_Would it ever get better? Would she ever be able to move on and stand on her own two feet, to be the kind of mother that Mikey deserved? Was her life really over at twenty-two, never moving forward? Would she ever be able to look at another man the way she did at Michael, and feel the same adoration and love in return?_

_She couldn't see it. She had been in love with Michael Newton since she was sixteen years old, and he was the only man she'd ever wanted. The only one she could envision sharing her life and having a family with. Her heart ached more when she thought of someone else filling Michael's spot beside her in their bed, stepping into his shoes and being a father to their son. It all seemed so impossible to even contemplate._

"_Bella?" a soft voice called from behind her and she looked over her shoulder to find Angela coming toward her._

_Bella quickly wiped away the tears from her cheeks with her hands and cleared her throat. "I'm sorry, Angela, I know I was way over the line and should keep myself in more control. I don't know what got into me."_

"_No, you were saying how you felt, and that's what this group is all about. And to be honest, you probably voiced everything that every woman in that room has been thinking for weeks," Angela replied softly, wrapping her arm around Bella's shoulders. "Do you need a ride home or anything?"_

_Bella shook her head. "No, Edward is going to come pick me up. But I'm sorry, I don't think I'll be coming back. This just isn't for me."_

"_We all heal at our own time, in our own way," Angela said gently, rubbing Bella's arm in a comforting gesture. "But we do eventually heal when we're ready, Bella."_

_Bella drew in a deep breath and nodded unconvincingly, pulling her phone out of her purse as Angela returned inside. Dialing the only number she even bothered with of late, she attempted to calm herself before Mikey saw her in that state. "Hey, can you come now? I can't stay here anymore."_

_**x-x-x**_

_Once Edward left the room with Mikey to put him to bed, Bella finally allowed the tears to fall that she'd been holding back since she'd gotten into the car. She wouldn't let her son see her fall to pieces in front of him, no matter how much her eyes burned or her chest ached from holding back. Why had everything turned out the way it had? When would it stop hurting so much? When would she be able to eat again without feeling sick, sleep again without waking up screaming from nightmares, or get through a single day without crying herself into an anxiety attack._

_Bella heard Edward enter the room and sit at her feet, gently caressing her ankle with his thumb. "You want to talk about it?"_

"_No, not really," she replied mechanically, unmoving. She suddenly felt numb, staring blankly at the wall, her tears all but stopped. She was frozen, empty and completely exhausted. "I just don't see how this is ever going to get easier, Edward."_

"_Come here," Edward whispered, his hand leaving her and she caught the motion of his fingers in her peripheral vision, motioning for her to come over to him._

_Bella lifted her head from the couch and lowered it again to rest on his thigh, her tears flowing again and landing on his pant leg. She took hold of his hand where it rested on her shoulder and pulled his arm around her, hugging it tightly against her chest. Aside from Mikey, he was the only comfort she had left in her life, the rock holding her up and preventing her from falling. His whispered words of encouragement, that it would somehow get better in time, soothed her as his free hand gently stroked her hair. He always knew exactly what to do and say to calm her. How she would have managed without him through the past six months, she had no idea._

"_Thank you for being here, Edward," Bella mumbled into his leg, allowing her eyes to close._

"_I always will be," Edward whispered back as his fingers continued to caress her hair until she fell asleep there in his lap._

**x-x-x**

_Always, Bella._

Bella jolted from a restless sleep with the sound of Edward's voice ringing in her ears. She hadn't thought about that night, let alone dreamed about it, in years, and nothing as vivid as that since her relationship with Edward began. She felt everything she had that night three years before. The ache in her chest, the tears streaming down her face, the empty feeling in the pit of her stomach, but with one distinct difference—the movement of the baby inside her.

She felt an immense pang of guilt strike her heart as she ran her hand over the ever-growing swell of her stomach. Why was she dreaming about the loss of Michael so suddenly, when her life had significantly turned around? She was married and happy again, preparing to welcome a baby with her new husband, even if he was on the other side of the world. _Why is this happening _now_?_

The sun began peeking through the blinds of her windows and she pushed aside the blankets from her legs to get up. Her mind was whirling throughout the entire morning routine of getting Mikey dressed and ready for school, never ceasing even as she stood watching him run around the playground with his friends, waiting for the bell to ring.

"Good morning, Bella," a soft, friendly voice sounded beside her and she looked over to see Angela standing there with a smile.

"Angela. Hey, what brings you here?" Bella asked, unable to mask her surprise at seeing Angela there.

"Jessica's stepson just started school here on post and she had an 'urgent' hair appointment this morning," Angela replied with her fingers air-quoting on either side of her head, followed by a roll of her eyes and a chuckle.

"Nice to see her priorities are still right in line," Bella said sarcastically, joining in Angela's laughter.

"As always. I give this marriage six months tops." Angela paused, taking in Bella's awkward expression. "Hey, are you okay? You know, if you ever need anything, I'm just a phone call away, right?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just you know, size of a tank and everything," Bella attempted to joke as she ran her hand over her stomach for at least the hundredth time that morning, and her miniscule smile fell. The dream from the night before came to the forefront of her mind again and she turned her eyes to Angela. "Actually, are you busy after this? I could really use an ear."

Angela's features shifted in worry, resting her hand on Bella's shoulder. "Of course. Are you sure everything's all right? Edward? Mikey?"

Bella nodded wordlessly as the bell rang and Mikey ran over to hug around her legs before hurrying inside the building.

**x-x-x**

"So what's going on? Angela asked as Bella settled herself onto the couch beside her, groaning with the movement. "Wow, not too long left, huh?"

"About two more months. I can't wait," Bella replied with a smile, resting her head back against the couch for a moment before looking to Angela again. "That's actually what I wanted to talk about. I'm finally in a good place in my life again. I'm having a baby, I'm married to a wonderful man, who loves me and my son more than anything in the world, and so looking forward to this one as well. I haven't been this happy in so damn long."

"All right, so what's wrong?" Angela asked in confusion, reaching over to gently take Bella's hand.

"Do you remember the last night I came to the support group? When I totally lost it on Jessica?" Bella inquired nervously, her eyes falling to her lap as Angela hummed in affirmation. "I had a dream about it last night. It felt so real, like I was right there all over again. I woke up shaking and crying, and missing Michael so much, it physically hurt. Why would I do that? It's been almost four years since I lost him, and somehow, I've managed to move on. I love Edward so much, and I'm not in that place anymore. I felt so guilty, like I was cheating on my current husband with my first, even if it _was_ only in my head."

Angela smiled sadly, giving Bella's hand a gentle squeeze. "You may not believe this right now, but what you're going through is very normal. You think that because you still love and miss Michael, you don't love Edward enough?"

Bella teared up and nodded, pressing her lips together firmly and closing her eyes.

"That's not it at all, Bella," Angela said softly, sliding closer to her and wrapping her arm around Bella's shoulders. "Anyone who's watched you and Edward together can see how much you love him and vice versa. But the memories are always going to be there and Michael will always be a part of you. You're not dishonoring Edward by remembering your first love and the father of your son. And you're in the last trimester of your pregnancy, with your husband overseas, emotions are running high. That's not an easy situation to handle, regardless of the circumstances."

"I wasn't this scared before, Angela. When Michael was over there while I was pregnant with Mikey, and he was the love of my life since high school. And when I lost him, Edward was there to pick up the pieces. I turned to him for everything, and now I can't. It will only worry him more and become a distraction he can't afford. I'm more scared of losing him than I was with Michael, and that is confusing the hell out of me. First loves are supposed to be the most powerful, the ones that stick with you forever, right? But Edward … I can't lose him. He's my husband, my best friend, everything. I need him, my kids need him. I didn't think I would ever feel this way again, and _never_ imagined I would fall in love with another soldier. And my first husband's best friend? I want to believe that Michael would be happy for me and for Edward. But," Bella paused as a sob wracked through her body, driving her hands into her hair. "God, I'm not even making any sense now."

"No, you're making perfect sense, Bella," Angela replied softly, rubbing her hand along her arm. "You've fallen in love with two incredible men in your life, both of whom happened to be soldiers, and it's not that surprising that you feel a little conflicted. Analyzing your feelings for both of them, reliving painful memories, feeling a little guilty either way. But you have nothing to feel guilty over. Loving one doesn't extinguish the love you had for the other, and it also doesn't mean that you loved one more than the other. It's just different. You have a bond with Edward that you didn't with Mike, because of the experiences that you've shared. No one plans to fall in love with a soldier. I know I sure didn't. I was an Army brat, I knew what could happen, all the risks, I'd seen it all my life. And when Eric told me he was enlisting, I was terrified. Never thought I would forgive him. And now we're happy and married, and I'm not giving up that he will come home to me. And you shouldn't with Edward, either."

"I didn't speak to Michael for a week when he told me he was enlisting," Bella replied, chuckling softly with a falling tear at the memory of Michael's endless attempts to call, text, and beg her to forgive him in the week following his announcement. Him sitting on the front steps of her father's house in the pouring rain for three nights as she stubbornly sat in her room, determined not to cave and go downstairs to let him in. His red eyes and drenched hair clinging to his forehead when she finally did and threw herself into his arms, uncaring that his clothes were soaking through her pajamas. And the email from Edward the following day, promising her to do everything he could to keep Michael safe.

Even back then, just a few words from Edward consoled her in a way that no one else's would. He was there for her long before she desperately needed him to be. He'd always been as much a part of her as Michael had been, even without the ring on her finger and his baby growing inside her.

"Bella, sometimes all we have to hold onto is our hope and faith, and it's the strongest ally our sanity has," Angela spoke softly and Bella nodded, closing her eyes and leaning her head on Angela's shoulder.

**x-x-x**

Mikey shuffled hesitantly toward the computer with Edward's face displayed on the screen, after Bella called him over to "talk to Dad." He settled into the chair and lowered his eyes.

"Hi, Dad," he said softly, chewing the inside of his cheek and wringing his hands in his lap.

"Hey, buddy. What's going on?" Edward asked with his forehead wrinkled in worry.

"I think I made Mommy really mad," Mikey whispered, cupping the side of his mouth while eyeing Bella on the other side of the kitchen.

"Uh oh. How'd you do that? You're supposed to be behaving for your mom, remember?" Edward replied with a lifted eyebrow, giving Mikey a meaningful look.

"I didn't mean to!" Mikey exclaimed, waving his arms out. "We were picking out costumes for the Halloween party and I said I wanted to be a soldier like you. Then I asked Mommy what she was gonna be for Halloween, and she said she didn't think anything would fit her. So I said she'd make an awesome pumpkin."

Edward winced, closing his eyes and covering his mouth with his hand. "Oh, Mikey. That wasn't nice."

"But why? I mean, look how big Mommy's gotten. It'd be perfect!" Mikey said innocently, pointing over to his mother across the room.

Naturally, Edward had definitely noticed his wife's expanding waistline over the passing months. Between video conferences as often as he could manage and the pictures Mikey had been taking of her profile every week, he'd watched step by step as his baby grew inside her. But just as Bella had mused upon telling him that she was pregnant, her weight gain had begun to show very early on, to the extent that the doctors had been concerned with the possibility of diabetes or even twins. Thankfully, for Bella's sake, both had been ruled out, but watching her discomfort increase with the passing months tore at Edward, wishing there was something he could do for her.

"Baby, can I talk to Mikey alone for a minute?" Edward asked, gazing at Bella's image in the background as she nodded, wiping her cheek with the back of her hand as she walked around the corner. "Buddy, you shouldn't say things like that to your mom."

"What'd I say? You only said not to call her fat!" Mikey replied in a harsh whisper, folding his little arms over his chest and glaring at Edward. Bella even chuckled through her tears from the next room.

She knew Mikey hadn't meant anything by his statement about the costume, but as with her last pregnancy, her final trimester had really been taking its toll on her. The extra weight and the extremely active baby inside her had made sleep nearly impossible, and obviously, hadn't helped with her moods and emotions, either. She tried to keep it hidden from Mikey and Edward, knowing that they would both feel bad for upsetting her and being unable to calm her until she'd cried it out.

Three more weeks and it would be over.

"I'm sorry, Dad," she heard Mikey murmur softly in response to Edward's words that she hadn't heard. "I don't want to make Mommy sad."

"I know, buddy. Your mom will be okay, just make sure to give her lots of hugs and kisses, and tell her you love her," Edward replied in a soothing voice.

"I do love Mom! And I try to give her hugs, but I don't even fit on her lap right now," Mikey said and folded his arms over his chest in a pout.

"Michael," Edward scolded in a soft but firm voice and raised an eyebrow, causing Mikey to cover his mouth with his hands in a loud clap.

Mikey slid off the chair and ran into the next room, wrapping his arms tightly around Bella's leg. "I'm sorry, Mom! I love you!"

Bella ran her hand over his hair and took a deep breath, blinking back the tears already present in her eyes. "I know, baby. I love you, too. Let's get back to Dad."

"Oops!" Mikey exclaimed, releasing her and running back to the laptop. "Sorry, Dad. I had to tell Mom I loved her."

"It's okay. But I do have to go," Edward replied regretfully.

"Already?" Mikey whined, smooshing his cheeks with his hands on either side of his face. "I hate this. I want you home."

Edward's gaze moved up to Bella, who'd come to stand behind the little boy. She could see the strain and sadness in his eyes, and it tugged at her heart. Her talk with Angela a little over a month before, and several times since, had helped her cope better with being so far away from Edward. However, the more time that passed without any definite time of when he would be coming home, the more frequent Mikey's little outbursts were becoming, followed by hours of tears. The deployment was weighing heavily on them all, and she knew that Mikey was too young to truly understand why he had to be gone for so long. Hell, in some of her weaker moments, so did she. "I'll be home soon."

"You always say that, and you're still not here!" Mikey yelled, running away from the table with tears streaming down his face and slamming his bedroom door.

Bella carefully lowered herself into the chair, watching Edward's hands rubbing over his face and staring up as his fingertips rested over his mouth. "I'll talk to him, honey. He just misses you."

Edward nodded with his lips pressed into a thin line and released a shaky breath. "I know. I miss you both, too. So much. Just tell him I said bye and I love him for me?"

"I will. And we love you, too. _All_ of us," she replied, giving him a smile and running her hand over the top of her belly.

The action evoked a smile from him in return. "Thank you, baby. I love you, too."

They blew each other a kiss and the screen went black, and Bella closed the laptop. She could hear Mikey's sobs carrying from down the hall from his room and she slowly rose from the chair, making her way to his door.

When she opened it, she found his face buried in his pillow and the tips of his ears were bright red. She walked over to the bed and sat down at the edge, watching his little body tense slightly with the shift of the mattress.

"I want him to come home _now_, Mom," he cried, wiping his face on the pillowcase and turning his head to the side. "I hate the stupid Army!"

"It's his job, Mikey. And a very important one, even if he does have to be far away to do it. He won't _always_ be gone," Bella said softly as Mikey sat up, sliding his hand around her arm and resting his head on it.

"But he's gone now! He was gone for my birthday, and he's gonna miss the baby and the Halloween party. What if he misses Christmas, too?" Mikey replied with his lower lip trembling and more tears falling.

"We just have to think really happy thoughts, and hope for good things, sweetheart," Bella whispered softly, trying to keep herself together since she'd had some of the same fears when she allowed herself to think about it.

Mikey lifted his head, sliding off the bed and kneeling beside it, folding his hands in front of him and closing his eyes. "Dear God, Gramma says you're always listening so please bring my daddy home very soon. We miss him a lot and Mommy's sad, and my baby brother needs him, too. Yours truly, Michael Evan Newton, Jr."

Bella tried her hardest not to chuckle at the grown up tone her son was attempting before rising up to sit beside her again. She wrapped her arm around him and hugged him against her side. She and Edward had agreed not to find out the sex of the baby, although curiosity had been nagging at her more with each ultrasound. Mikey, on the other hand, had never given up on his stance that it was a boy. "What are you going to do if this is a baby sister, Mikey?"

Mikey scrunched up his nose and looked up at her, shaking his head. "Girls are yucky, Mom."


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Thank you so much for still reading! I hope to have this story completed by the end of the year *crosses fingers and knocks on wood* There's only another chapter or so left, I think, so hopefully that's a good possibility, even with everything else going on with my life. I truly appreciate everyone who's stuck with this story, and those who are still coming in to read. You're all so awesome :) **

* * *

**All I Want For Christmas 6**

Through the first two weeks of November, Bella began having more and more difficulty moving and had Angela over nearly every day to help with Mikey and the anxiety of the increasingly sporadic calls from Edward. She would receive a random text every now and then from the cell phone she'd sent him, to let her know that he was okay, but hearing his voice was the only thing that really put her mind at ease. She spent more time on the verge of tears as her due date drew closer without her husband, and having a friend around who could even remotely understand was a welcome distraction.

Angela walked in to find Bella crying almost hysterically on the couch one day when she stopped by and her heart jumped into her throat, instantly fearing the worst. "Bella, what's the matter?"

Bella opened her eyes to look over to Angela at the urgent sound of her voice and the sharp shift of the couch beside her, meeting her anxious gaze and shaking her head. "He's fine. Everyone is fine. I love hearing his voice, but it's so damn hard to hang up."

Angela removed the phone from Bella's tight grip and set it on the coffee table, replacing it with her own hand. "It won't be much longer. Another month and he'll be home."

"I know. But it just feels so far away still," Bella replied with fresh tears welling in her eyes and her hand running along the very top of her swollen stomach. "And the baby will be here by then. He'll never see one ultrasound with me, or feel the baby going round after round inside me at the sound of his voice, or hear his child's first cry. That is something I can't give back to him."

Angela gently squeezed the hand she held as Bella broke down again, sliding closer to her and wrapping an arm around her shoulders. "Well, I have an idea, if you're up to it."

Bella looked over to her friend when she heard the crumpling sound of a paper bag, her eyes widening at the box in Angela's grasp. "Are you kidding me?"

"Lots of women here on post have done it while they're pregnant," Angela replied with a shrug.

"Belly casting? I don't know, Angela. Sounds a little weird to me. I didn't even like paper-mache back in school," Bella replied with a wrinkled nose, shuddering slightly at the memory of the huge white mess in the kitchen and the blanched expression on her father's face when he saw it all those years ago.

"It's a way to preserve your pregnancy even after the baby is born. It's not the same, but it's something physical he can see and touch when he gets home. Something more than pictures and video," Angela said with an emphasis on the last statement.

Each week, Bella had continued to send Edward the pictures that Mikey was taking of her profile, ultrasound images and video that Angela had been filming on Bella's better days. She could see the appreciation in Edward's expression when he would call and video chat with her, but there was also that lingering, unmistakable sadness in his eyes as they talked about all that was going on—everything he was missing. Strange as it might seem to her, she could understand the perspective of the belly cast and knew how much Edward would appreciate the gesture.

"Okay."

**x-x-x**

Mikey walked in after school, shivering slightly as he removed his coat, and his eyes immediately widening at the sight in front of him and dropping his things to the floor. "Why are you making my mom into a mummy?"

Bella laughed for the first time all day as Angela laid another strip right below where her arm covered her breasts. "She's not, baby. We're making a mold of my tummy for when Dad comes home."

Mikey gasped and his eyes lit up, running over to kneel beside Bella on the sheet covering the couch. "That is so cool! Can I put my hand there, too?"

Angela looked to Bella as Mikey's gazed shot between them anxiously. With one final plea from him, his mother relented with a nod, and Mikey placed his hand on her stomach. "Wait, Mikey. You need to quickly take off your shirt and put some Vaseline on your hand and arm like this," she paused, pointing to Bella's coated stomach. "So this stuff doesn't stick to you, and make sure to get between your fingers."

"Ew! That's gross!" Mikey exclaimed, scrunching his face as he pulled his hand away from the viscous coating on his mother's skin.

"Well, we're going to need you to make up your mind quickly. Gotta hurry before this stuff dries on your mom's belly," Angela said in a slightly challenging tone, smirking as she watched Mikey's lips purse in thought before pulling off his t-shirt and grabbing the Vaseline, rubbing it along his arm.

Bella watched as he covered every inch of his skin, getting every crevice between his fingers and holding it up for Angela's inspection, before resting his hand above his mother's on her stomach. He laid his head on her shoulder, watching in fascination as each strip molded around his fingers and hers, giggling softly as Angela placed several small squares over Bella's protruding belly button.

"Mom, the baby's gonna be here soon, right?" Mikey asked, lifting his eyes to meet hers.

"Yes, another week or so, why?" Bella replied with a raised eyebrow.

"I was just wondering. Does the baby pop your belly button up when it's ready to come out like the turkey from Thanksgiving last year?" he inquired, innocently gazing up at her.

"Oh shit," Angela exclaimed softly with a snort, dropping the square from her hand onto the leg of her jeans and visibly straining not to laugh.

"Shh. No bad talk in front of the baby, Angela!" Mikey scolded her with a wrinkled brow and then looked back to his mother.

Bella's eyes were tearing and her lips pressed into a firm line, and Mikey immediately remembered Edward's words from weeks before about being careful what he said to his mother. He'd been trying so hard, and he felt as if he'd ruined it all by indirectly calling her a fat bird. But when she snorted as well, he looked between the two women in complete confusion, as they both attempted to resume their respective tasks through their chuckles. "I suppose that could be the case, Mikey. I'm just about done."

Mikey shook his head back and forth, his eyes moving from one laughing woman to the other. "I told Dad girls were weird."

"Okay. Need to stop and try to stay still before the baby starts doing somersaults again and makes me have to pee," Bella said, clearing her throat, but her lips continued to twitch with her amusement.

Once the mold was dry enough to remove, Mikey's fidgeting increased as Angela began pulling it away, anxious to get up. "Wow, that took _forever_."

Bella chuckled at his dramatic sigh and began sitting up. "Now I _really _have to pee."

Mikey stood in front of her with his arms folded over his chest as Bella gasped. "Mommy, you're supposed to wait until you get _into_ the bathroom. Is the baby doing somersaults again?"

"No, honey. No somersaults," Bella replied breathlessly, a blanched expression on her face that had him tilting his head to catch her gaze.

"Angela, Mom's had an accident!" Mikey called down the hall and heard Angela stumble on her way back to the living room in a rush.

"Sweetie, I didn't have an accident. The baby's coming. My water just broke."

**x-x-x**

By the time they reached the hospital after rushing to get Bella dressed, she was already dilated four centimeters and progressing quickly. Angela almost immediately got on the phone, trying to find a way to inform Edward that Bella was in labor. While Mikey sat excitedly by her bedside with the video camera, focusing hard to keep it still and on his mother while he waited for his grandmother to come for him.

"Don't worry, Mom. Dad won't miss a thing. He's gonna love this," he said proudly.

"I'm sure he will, baby," Bella replied through slow breaths as another contraction subsided, just as Angela came back into the room with more ice chips. "Did you hear back from him?"

Angela sat on the edge of the bed and nodded with a smile. "Yeah, he just texted and said he loves you and he'll call as soon as he can."

"Good. I'd hate to have the baby come before he knew I was even in labor. And I don't know how long this kid is going to hold out. Or me for that matter," Bella said, clenching her jaw and fists tightly as another contraction hit her. "God, where is Sarah? And I need the doctor, too."

Angela reached over and pressed the call button beside Bella and then held her hand out to Mikey. "Come on, sweetie. Let's go see if we can find Grandma."

"But what about Mom?" Mikey asked with a wrinkled forehead, placing his free hand in Bella's. "She'll be all alone, and who's gonna hold the camera?"

Bella gave his fingers a gentle squeeze as she breathed through the end of her contraction. "Don't worry, baby. The doctor will be here soon and Angela will come back once you find Grandma. We won't miss the baby coming for Dad."

"Okay," Mikey sighed and set the camera down on the table beside her bed. Angela lifted him up to kneel next to his mother and give her a kiss, and he slid his arms around her neck. "I love you, Mommy."

"I love you, too, honey," Bella replied, hugging him with one arm while gesturing to Angela with the other hand to take him when the nurse came through the door. "Be good and remember, you're gonna be a big brother soon."

Mikey pulled away with a broad smile, resting his small hand on her stomach. "See you soon, baby."

Bella's eyes teared slightly as he leaned over and kissed her stomach, sliding off the bed to take Angela's hand. As soon as they were out of the room, she released a pained moan she'd been holding in while he was present, looking over at the nurse. "I need to push. Like really, really need to push. Women who do this naturally by choice are out of their mind."

"I hear that all the time," the nurse replied with a chuckle as she pulled her gloves on and moved to the end of the bed to examine Bella. "Oh you really are ready, crowning and everything. The doctor is on his way, so let's get you set up."

Bella's tears began to flow as her head fell back against the pillow. She was about to become a mom again, and the full realization of that hit her all at once. Her hand ran over her stomach, caressing it for what would be the final time. As uncomfortable as she had been in the last few weeks, she was going to miss being pregnant. Lying in bed at night, feeling the baby move and watching the bumps rise with every kick and elbow jab. Never truly feeling alone at night, even with Edward thousands of miles away. She was ready to finally hold their baby, but not to have it all over so soon.

"Well, Bella, I hear the little one is ready to make a grand entrance," Dr. Clearwater said as he entered the room. "How's Mom doing?"

Bella took a deep breath, attempting to collect herself but only managing a nod as her next contraction hit.

_Angela, where the hell are you? _she thought to herself, clenching the sheet covering her in her fists.

"Okay, Mikey's with Sarah and…oh my God, it's time?" Angela panted breathlessly as she rushed back into the room, her eyes widening as the nurse lifted Bella's feet into the stirrups. Bella's eyes moved over to Angela with a gaze that screamed "What was your first clue, genius?" and she couldn't help but chuckle, but hurried around the bed to grab the camera. "Well, Mikey forgot to turn it off, so Edward will have a great view of a talking wall for a while. Do you want to say anything before things get started?"

Bella looked up again to find Angela pointing the camera directly at her, and nodded. "Edward, I love you and I miss you so much. And I'm going to stop right there before I start cursing."

Both Angela and the nurse chuckled as the doctor settled onto the stool at Bella's feet. "All right, Bella. Let's find out if we're pink or blue, shall we?"

**x-x-x**

Edward's heart was racing from the moment the text came in from Angela that Bella was in labor, nervous anxiety making it nearly impossible to stand still. More than any other time throughout his deployment, he wished he was home with her, holding her hand as she brought their child into the world.

_I'm going to be a father,_ he thought to himself as he finally sat down, staring at the screen of his phone. He wanted to call her, tell her he loved her himself, but knew he had to wait. His thoughts shifted to Mikey and he smiled as he imagined how excited he must have been at that moment. As much as he wanted Edward to be with Bella and be his dad, he'd also been ecstatic to find out that he was going to be a big brother—it _was_ his birthday wish, after all. He'd also been trying to convince his parents in the last few weeks to find out the sex of the baby and became a little frustrated when they refused to relent. It was one positive surprise they wanted to relish and savor in their lives. And within hours, they would all know if they were bringing home a little boy or girl. Son or daughter, it was irrelevant to Edward—he would be going home to his first child, his complete family.

What seemed like an eternity later, his phone finally buzzed in his hand and he looked up to his fellow soldiers sitting around him, all with equally anxious expressions on their faces. Including Angela's husband, Eric.

"Well, what are you waiting for? Check it!" Eric said excitedly, waving his hand in encouragement.

Edward's grip was shaky on the phone and he swallowed hard, closing his eyes in preparation as he pressed the button to reveal the waiting text. He drew in a deep breath before opening them again to read the words on the screen.

_Bailey Renee Cullen. 6lbs, 12 oz. Absolutely beautiful._

Below was the first picture of his little girl, her tiny hands pressed against her face, and an elated chuckle escaped him as he pressed the phone to his lips.

"So…is it Renee or Carlisle?" Eric asked, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees and wide eyes.

When Bella and Edward had been discussing names through email, they had decided on a unisex one for the first. Only the middle name would distinguish the gender when he found out—Carlisle after his father for a boy, Renee after her mother for a girl. And he'd shared that information with a select few from his unit.

"Renee. It's Renee," Edward replied emotionally, fighting hard against the tears forming in his eyes. "I have a daughter."

"Hooah!" Eric whooped with the three other men surrounding them, standing up and holding his hand out to Edward. Standing to take it in a firm handshake, Edward returned his gaze to the picture on the screen. Her long, delicate fingers pressing indents into her cheeks, the dark silky hair on her head, and full, beautiful lips pursed tightly. "Congratulations, man. Now go call your wife."

Edward smiled and nodded, walking away and dialing the number to the hospital that Angela had sent him. His chest ached from his pounding heart as he waited for the call to connect, until it rose in his throat when he finally heard her voice come through the line with a tired "hello?"

"Hey, baby. She's really here?" Edward replied, running his hand over his lips.

"She is. Did you see her?" Bella asked softly.

"I did. She's perfect," Edward said with a broadening smile. "I love you so much."

"Is that Dad? Is that Dad, Mom?" he heard Mikey's voice from the other end before she could reply. "Mom, is it Dad?"

Edward laughed at the anxious little voice that increased in volume with her confirmation. A shuffling sound came through as Mikey took the phone and held it to his ear. "Hi, buddy. How's it feel to be a big brother?"

"It's okay. She's cute, I guess. For girl," Mikey replied, excitement still laced under the hint of disappointment that Bailey was not the little brother he wanted so much. "She cries really loud. I miss you, Dad. Can you come home now?"

"Few more weeks, kiddo. But I'm really excited to see you, Mom and your little sister," Edward said, hearing Mikey sigh into the receiver. "It'll go by quickly, and you'll be very busy helping your mom with the baby. I need you to take extra special care of both of them for me, okay?"

"Okay, I will, Dad," Mikey responded quietly. "Mommy says she wants to talk to you again. I love you."

"I love you, too. See you real soon." With a final "okay" from Mikey, the shuffling sounded again as he handed the phone back to Bella. "Guess he really wanted that little brother, huh?"

Bella laughed softly in response. "Yeah, but he'll come around. I know you don't have a lot of time, so I just wanted to tell you that I love you."

"I love you, too, Bella. And thank you," Edward replied, closing his eyes against more tears that were welling. "You're my hero, baby."

"And you're mine. Be safe out there. We'll be waiting for you."


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: In lieu of doing all the normal Christmas-y things, I've been losing myself in my notebook through several computer issues (can't live with em OR without em, it seems), and I finally got this done and typed out just last night. Hope you all enjoy it and have a very happy holiday! **

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**All I Want For Christmas 7**

The first few weeks following Bailey's arrival were interesting, to say the least. Mikey had been more rambunctious than usual, anxious for Edward's return and also adjusting to the concept of being a big brother—and to a _sister_. He made no secret of his disappointment of Bailey not being a boy, and in the first days, Bella had been concerned as to how he'd be with her when she came home. He did seem a little distant at first, until she unexpectedly found him standing beside Bailey's crib with his arm reaching through the rails, whispering to her as he played with her little toes. Even as she continued to cry, he still caressed her foot and told her everything was going to be okay. Until he spotted Bella standing by the doorway and feigned an annoyed look, quickly retracting his hand from her and stomping out of the room.

It was a scene that became more frequent, however insistent Mikey was that a boy wouldn't have cried as much. Bailey had been far more fussy than Bella ever remembered him being, and if Mikey wasn't sleeping, he was always the first to respond to her cries. Yet, just as with the first time, as soon as Bella was present, he'd blush at being caught sharing a sweet moment with his sister and storm out of the room, muttering under his breath.

The only time that Bailey really seemed to calm aside from while eating or sleeping was when she heard her daddy's voice through the phone or computer. After three nearly sleepless nights following their discharge from the hospital, Edward called to check in, and the moment Bella held the phone to the wailing baby's ear, Bailey's lip slowly began to cease trembling. She watched in amazement as the little girl remained completely silent for the duration of the two minutes that Edward spoke to her, and then it was Bella's turn to start crying.

_Damn hormones,_ she thought as she tried to calm her cries before bringing the phone back to her own ear. The increased worry in her husband's voice made her pull herself together more quickly, explaining that she was just overtired and a little more emotional than usual. However, the tears began again as soon as she hung up, followed shortly thereafter by Bailey.

"Mom, Bailey's crying _again_," Mikey called out from the living room as Bella stood in the kitchen, packing his lunch.

"I know, honey. I'll be there in a sec. Just finish getting ready for school before Angela gets here," she replied, holding back a chuckle threatening to escape her.

"Is her face _supposed_ to be this red?" Mikey asked loudly, causing Bailey's cries to increase as well. "She looks like Grampa when I spilled his tackle box that time."

Bella laughed as she zipped his lunch bag and made her way into the room. "Don't _you_ get cranky when you're hungry?"

Mikey sighed heavily. "How do you _know_ these things, Mom?" he muttered as he retreated to his room to grab his bag for school.

Bella smiled and grabbed the blanket from the back of the couch, settling down before lifting the baby into her arms. "Because that's just what mommies do, huh?"

When Mikey returned to the living room, his mother's front was covered with the blanket, concealing his little sister at her breast. He leaned on the cushion beside her with his forearms, a contorted look on his face. "Mom, somethin's been bugging me."

"Okay, what's that?" Bella asked, prepared for just about anything when it came to her little boy.

"Why's it okay the baby to be there when you used to smack Dad for it?"

Bella bought her free hand up to cover her face and pinched her lips together to keep from bursting into laughter and not only disturbing the baby, but embarrassing her son in the same breath. _Apparently, I'll never be _fully_ prepared for anything that comes out of his mouth_, she thought as she attempted to collect herself enough to speak. On more than one occasion, Mikey had woken in the middle of the night while they were watching television together, which almost inevitably escalated to barely acknowledging the screen at all. And naturally, Edward's favorite place to "rest his hand" was her breast, which her smacking it probably drew more attention to that fact, but it was reflex when her child was in the room.

Bella cleared her throat as softly as she could before turning her attention to Mikey. "Well … you see, Mikey … um … this is how your sister eats. But Dad … he … doesn't."

Mikey raised an eyebrow at his mother as she stammered through her statement, smirking slightly when she began to blush. It faded quickly as his eyes lowered again to the blanket covering Bailey. "How come I got bottles?"

Bella looked at him, running her hand over his hair as his eyes saddened. "What?"

"In all the pictures. I have a bottle," he replied with his brow wrinkling.

"Oh. That's only because we were in public, baby. I fed you this way, too," Bella said reassuringly—_that_ was a question she was expecting weeks before, though not in quite such a way. With so much attention focused on the baby, Mikey hadn't been his usual inquisitive self when it came to asking her questions, and instead, acted out in other ways. So even with the subject matter at hand, it was a relief to have him somewhat returning to normal. But it was his almost dejected demeanor that took her off guard, as if Bailey was being treated any differently than he was when he was a baby.

"Oh my God, I'm so, so sorry I'm late, Bella!" Angela announced as she burst through the door moments later, out of breath and looking completely frazzled. "I had so much to do this morning, and then my car wouldn't start because it was out of gas, and now Mikey is going to be late for school, and I am so very sorry."

Bella bit her lip and shook her head as Angela ranted breathlessly before releasing a heavy exhale, sending a loose strand of her hair hanging in her face flying up. It was so rare to see her unhinged about anything; always the calm, logical one about absolutely everything.

Mikey looked between the two women before standing up straight and facing Angela. "It's okay, Ang. I was havin' a talk with Mommy, anyway."

Angela glanced at Bella, who continued to shake her head and mouthed 'don't ask, tell you later'. "Okay, then. Are we ready to go?"

"Yeah, I guess," he sighed and hoisted his bag onto his back, heading for the door with a brief glance back. "See you after school, Mom. Bye, Bailey."

Bella watched as he stepped outside in front of Angela and listened for the distinct closing of two car doors before lifting the blanket to look down at her daughter. "Well, your brother seems a bit sad, little girl. I think we should take you off to meet your daddy and give Mikey a surprise when he gets home. What do you say?"

Bailey gurgled softly as she wiggled in Bella's arms and her face began to contort, the telling precursor to her imminent crying.

"Okay, let's go get pretty for Daddy," Bella said hastily, rising from the couch and hurrying down the hall.

**x-x-x**

The anticipation was excruciating, more so than any other time Bella had stood outside that hangar, waiting for the first sight of the plane that was bringing hundreds of soldiers home to their families and friends at last. She knew it was, in large part, due to the changes since the last time she'd been there waiting for Edward; she was welcoming her _husband_ home, Mikey had no idea, and of course, the securely bundled infant in her arms.

Angela bounced beside her, rubbing and blowing on her hands to warm them with her breath. Eric was also coming home, and Bella knew that the pink flush to Angela's cheeks was not entirely due to the cold; like her, she'd barely had any time with him as husband and wife before he was deployed and was looking forward to the alone time that had been put on hold since February. "Come on, where are they?"

"You'd think you'd never done this before." I teased her and she nudged my elbow with a roll of her eyes. "At least you're not the one whose genitals are on a postpartum lockdown for another two weeks."

Angela's hand rose to her mouth to conceal the burst of laughter that escaped her, and once she'd calmed, she glanced over to Bailey, who was miraculously still asleep. "But could there be _any_ 'welcome home' that could beat this?"

Bella's smile slowly stretched across her lips as she gazed down at the little girl. "No, I really don't think so. Between her and Mikey, I'll be lucky if I see my husband at _all_ for the next two weeks."

"What _was_ up with Mikey this morning? He was just so…off," Angela asked with a sigh.

"Nothing but a period of the older sibling blues," Bella replied, looking over to Angela meaningfully. "I don't think it's anything that a good dose of Dad time won't remedy, at least a little. With all the excitement over the baby and getting ready for Edward to come home, I think he might be feeling a little left out."

"Oh yeah, sounds like someone could use some Dad time in a big way," Angela agreed, nodding her head before the telltale rumble of the incoming plane, as well as the steadily increasing cheering of the crowd, sounded around them. They both looked up and tears formed in their eyes, finally allowing the reality to set in.

Inside that plane was the missing pieces of their hearts; the wait was over. They were home and would be safe in their arms before they knew it. Bella was trembling as it slowly made its descent and touched down, feeling Angela's arm wrap around her shoulder as it taxied around.

Bailey began to wake and her lower lip started to quiver at the increase in noise, and Bella began to bounce her lightly. "Look, baby. It's Daddy!"

_Edward is home. Edward is _home_, _she thought over and over, as if she too needed confirmation that she wasn't just dreaming that time. The tears streaming down her face began to chill and tug at her skin, causing her to laugh breathlessly. She even lifted onto her toes impatiently to see past all the flags and signs being waved, her anticipation of the door opening and the sea of green camouflage to emerge practically bursting her at the seams.

"Oh my God, here they come!" Angela squealed, shifting Bella to the other side of her where she had a much better view through the parting of the crowd.

Bella's eyes flickered over each head that appeared, trying to find the unique bronze of Edward's hair, but it was his gaze she found first, and his unmistakable smile.

"Eric!" Angela exclaimed when they finally began making their way toward their loved ones, running for him and jumping into his waiting arms.

Yet, Bella barely noticed the absence of her friend beside her as her watery eyes watched the tall, distinct form of her husband weaving his way through the crowd to her. She choked out a sob, unable to wait a moment longer and urging her trembling legs to move her forward straight into his embrace. Her free arm clung around his back with a fist full of his jacket clenched in her hand and her cheek pressed against his chest as she felt his warm lips press against her forehead.

"You're here. You're really here," Bella cried with a smile so wide, it hurt and tilted her head up to welcome a firm kiss from him.

Bailey began to whimper more insistently between them until she broke into a cry, and Edward rested his forehead against his wife's. He'd dreamed of that moment from the day Bella told him that she was pregnant, and even more so each time he gazed at the photo of his beautiful little girl every chance he got while over there. She was so tiny and beautiful, and now, she was right in front of him and he was almost afraid to look down, terrified that she would disappear along with Bella.

"Open your eyes, Daddy, and meet your daughter," Bella said with a trembling voice, shaking with the over-wrought emotions of the moment. He slowly complied, looking first at his wife before his gaze finally lowered to the tiny baby between them.

"Oh my God," Edward breathed out heavily as she set the baby in his arms and immediately pressed his lips to Bailey's brow. "Bailey, Bailey. My beautiful Bailey."

Bella observed the two while resting her head against his arm, hesitant to cease touching him, while still allowing him to have his first moments with their daughter. Bailey continued to hiccough at the sound of her father's voice, but her big blue-green eyes were wide open and looking up at him, and the moment was so surreal that it brought more tears to Bella's.

It had far surpassed anything she had imagined that moment to be, watching as Edward became visibly more enraptured with his little girl and caught in the feeling of holding her finally.

"I've been waiting so long to meet you, angel," Edward said softly and then turned his gaze to Bella, brushing his lips against hers.

"Let's go home. Someone else will be there in a few hours who's been waiting anything _but_ patiently," Bella murmured against him with excited tears in her eyes.

Edward smiled, reluctantly handing Bailey back to Bella with one last kiss to her tiny forehead, and lifted his bag onto his shoulder before wrapping his other arm back around his wife. He felt some nervous anxiety about returning home after being away for so long, with everything as different from what it was before he left, but he was also definitely relieved to be back with his family and longing to be able to move forward finally.

**x-x-x**

Mikey sat in the back seat of Angela's car that afternoon as she fought to keep her smile contained, not wanting to tip him off that it was anything other than just one more ride home from school. Although she wasn't too sure that he would have noticed much that day regardless. His eyes remained in his lap, fingering the puffy cotton balls glued to the Christmas picture he'd made in art that day for Edward when he got home. It was obvious how far away his thoughts were, and if she hadn't known what was coming in just a few short minutes, she might have been fighting of the urge to cry instead.

He missed Edward so much, and she could remember just how long her father's deployments had seemed when she was just about Mikey's age—one year might as well have been ten. Phone calls and letters were great, but there was nothing like having Dad home reading stories to her before bed, or waking up to the smell of his pancakes on Sunday morning. Or being able to hug him whenever she wanted, inhaling the scent of aftershave and _Dad_, rather than the heavy, pungent smell from the bottle while he was away. Or seeing his proud smile in the audience of the one dance recital he'd been able to attend.

_Nothing_ compared to Dad being _home_.

When Angela pulled into the driveway, Mikey began to unbuckle his seatbelt routinely and reach for his backpack on the floor, and she couldn't restrain her excited smile anymore. "Hey, Mikey? What's that up there on the porch?"

Mikey sighed, sure that it was just another box from the mailman that his mother would grab and run down to hall to quickly hide in her room again. Christmastime was _torture_ at six years old, but teasing him was just _mean_. However, when his gaze finally rose to look, his eyes widened and his mouth fell open. "Dad?"

Edward's smile widened at the sight of Mikey's expression from his perch on the front steps, making the wait for him to come home from school even more worth it. As much as he'd been aching to meet his daughter, the separation from Mikey hurt just as much, and increased with every one of his disappointed sighs when Edward couldn't tell him when he was coming home, or the sight of his sad eyes through the webcam. He fought to keep his composure as he rested his elbows on his knees and waved his hands out expectantly as the little boy remained frozen in the car.

Angela turned in her seat to look back at him and watched his lower lip begin to tremble. She could almost see the wheels turning in his head with racing thoughts—_is he really here? If I get out of this car, will my dad disappear? _She reached back to rest her hand on his leg, patting it gently, but his eyes never moved. "Well, are you just going to sit there, or go get him?"

Mikey shook his head vehemently and Angela looked back to Edward with a shrug.

Edward stood from the steps and his way over to the car, with Mikey watching him the entire time. He opened the door and crouched down beside the little boy, whose tears were streaming down his face. "Hey, buddy. You gonna come out and say hi?"

Mikey sniffled and shook his head again. "No."

Edward's heart plummeted a little as he felt his worst fears seemingly materializing in front of his eyes. Was Mikey mad at him for being away for so long? Or maybe that he hadn't let him know that he was coming home that day? He knew from all he'd heard from other military parents that each child's reaction to Mom or Dad coming home could differ from deployment to deployment, but Mikey's expression was almost unreadable. "Okay, can I ask why?"

"Cuz then you'll go away again like when I'm sleeping," Mikey replied with the last words choked out in a sob, fresh tears falling from his eyes as he began to cry more heavily.

Edward could barely restrain his own as he stood again and lifted Mikey's trembling body out of the car, pulling him into his arms as the little boy whispered 'please be real' over and over in his ear. "I'm right here, Mikey. I'm not going anywhere."

Mikey's sobs intensified as his arms wrapped around Edward's neck, squeezing tightly and burying his face in the camouflage jacket. He didn't care who could see him, or whether or not they stared—he wasn't letting go.

Bella watched from the doorway, holding Bailey and not bothering to hold back the tears streaming down her cheeks at the scene playing out before her. She hadn't known what to make of Mikey not running straight for Edward the moment he saw him as he had every other time in the past when he'd come home. Even if he'd only been gone for a couple of days or weeks while doing some training, or anything else that would take him away, Mikey would light up as soon as he came back and never hesitated to jump into the man's arms.

But things were different now, and that became clearer with every passing second. He wasn't just Edward anymore; he was _Dad_.

It was the one wish Mikey had the Christmas before and it had come true, and it was more than any of them could have imagined. He had a dad who loved him, that made his mom smile, and as much as he hated to admit it, gave him a little sister that really wasn't _so_ bad after all. And when Christmas rolled around again the following week, he'd have everything he wished for that year as well—his dad home and his family together finally.

**x-x-x**

Later that night, Edward laid on the bed, gazing down at his daughter as she gurgled and wiggled beside him. It was the first opportunity he'd really had to spend time with her since that afternoon. He'd spent the entire evening with Mikey on his lap, the little boy refusing to let him go even through dinner. Edward indulged him for just that one night, catching up on all the things he'd missed in his ten months overseas. Talking with him, watching a movie on television, and even reading to him until Mikey reluctantly fell asleep on his chest.

When Bella finally lifted the boy off him to put him to bed, Edward made his way to their bedroom to find Bailey wide awake and kicking her feet alternately as he spoke softly to her. He nervously picked her up for the first time on his own and she felt so small in his hold, his hands nearly encompassing her entire body. Once he had her safely settled atop the bed, he began to relax a little and used the quiet moment to really take her in.

Lifting one of her clenched fists, he gently unfolded it to reveal her long, yet still so tiny fingers and kissed the tip of each one, before repeating it with her other hand as well. _Ten perfect fingers,_ he thought to himself and even giving a small chuckle, never thinking that such a small detail would matter so much to him and affect him so deeply. His hand moved down to her feet, and as delicately as he could manage, peeled her lacy pink socks off to examine them as well. _And ten perfect toes,_ he added as his nose softly nuzzled them and inhaled the soft, baby scent of her skin, an indulgence he could take in the privacy of his own home; even if he knew damn well he was far from the first dad in the world to do so.

He was aware that becoming a father would be powerful; just the experiences within the last year with Mikey were proof of that. And he thought he'd felt it all the day Bailey was born, looking down at her picture, but he hadn't known the half of it.

He created half of the beautiful child beside him. He sounded like the biggest cliché in the world in his own head as he thought that she really was the most perfect thing he'd ever done in his life. All of the accomplishments he'd achieved in his entire career combined couldn't trump the pride he felt in that moment. He looked forward to watching those little feet grow and take their first steps, to see her personality develop and observe who she would become. Would she be like her brother; bold, inquisitive and talkative? Or shy and quiet like her mother? Or reclusive and introverted like him? He definitely hoped not on the latter. He could already see so much of Bella in her physically, from her full, pouty lips right down to the beginnings of ringlets at the ends of her hair. Yet even from thousands of miles away, he could see that she was already a definite Daddy's girl, and he'd be hard pressed to not allow her to wrap him tightly around her finger.

"I love you so much, little girl. Daddy is so glad to be home," Edward whispered against her foot before laying his head down on his bent arm beside her, tracing her nose and lips with his fingertip.

"Never thought I could feel less jealous of catching my husband in bed with another woman," Bella said softly with a smile from the doorway, where she'd been standing for several minutes, watching the exchange between Edward and their daughter.

Edward's head tilted back to look at her and he rolled his eyes, chuckling. "Very funny, baby."

Bella began walking toward the bed and carefully sat beside his legs, resting her hand on his pant leg as she caught the hint of tears in his eyes, even with as hard as he was trying to not let them show. Her hand slowly rose to trace through his hair, not wanting to startle him or Bailey with any sudden movements, and his eyes closed at the contact. "Honey, is something wrong?"

Edward's lips tightened and he shook his head, his gaze returning to Bailey. "No. It's just been an overwhelming day. Between seeing you, spending tonight with Mikey, and now this time with Bailey, it's actually hit me that I'm home. So, _good_ overwhelming, but overwhelming nonetheless."

Bella laid down behind him, resting her hand on his arm and kissing his shoulder with her eyes fixed on their daughter as well. "And we're so happy you are," she whispered against his shirt, tears brimming for the millionth time that day. He was in her arms, she could feel him and smell him, and they were enjoying the moment with the tiny baby girl they'd created together. Yet when he turned his head to lightly kiss her temple, she could feel his exhaustion through the gesture; the time change and the long flight no doubt catching up with him. "Okay, pretty girl, I think it's time to let Daddy rest and take our bath."

Edward nodded and smiled sadly, feeling so out of sync with what seemed to be the natural flow of things as he watched Bella lift Bailey and carry her from the room. He knew he had to give it time; that it was all new to him, whereas she had been doing everything for the baby for nearly four weeks. It would take time and patience on his part to achieve the ease with which she handled their daughter.

Restlessness was colliding with his exhaustion, and while his mind was telling him that it was time to be up and wouldn't shut down, his body pleaded to unwind. Even when he tried to close his eyes, he found himself sitting up again, anxious to move. He could hear Bella humming in the bathroom with Bailey's accompanying gurgles and the occasional splash of water. He stood and made his way to the bathroom doorway, watching silently for a few minutes.

He observed as his wife stood over the white baby tub, set on the bathroom counter beside the sink, half speaking-half singing to their little girl, and running a soft green washcloth along her arms. It was one of the most calming combinations of sights and sounds he'd ever experienced, and he found himself slowly moving closer until he stood right behind her, resting his hands on her waist and his lips against her shoulder.

Bella gave a soft gasp, causing Edward to look up at her suddenly, only to find her eyes looking down at Bailey and a wide smile on her lips. He followed her gaze down to the baby, and her tiny, rosebud lips formed a perfect circle as her eyes met his. "Is that Daddy?"

Edward closed his eyes for a moment, resting his face forward again on Bella's shoulder. _Daddy_—it was a term that had been used more times than he could count in the last several months, by everyone, including himself. But it wasn't until that instant that it truly became real to him.

He was a daddy in every sense of the word; he had a family with his wife and kids. There was never again going to be any coming home to an empty house at the end of deployments or even the end of the day. There would be no more evenings with the silence around him driving him so insane that he needed to escape. He had a purpose to work for, fight for, and come home for, more than ever before, when he didn't think it possible. And that thought brought with it a very unexpected feeling—complete and utter peace.

Edward lifted his head to look at Bella, kissing her gently as she turned her head when he was silent for just a beat longer than expected. "Mind if Daddy helps?"

Bella's lips tugged back into a smile and shook her head, taking his hand and placing the washcloth in it. With their joined hands, they bathed their baby together, taking in every sound and movement that she made.

A half hour later, they were lying on the bed with Bailey between them and her eyes beginning to flutter closed, and Edward resumed his studying of her. Every fingertip and eyelash, her tiny nose and ears…so delicate, he was afraid they might literally shatter if he touched them too roughly. He'd missed out on so much. He was gone before she was even fully conceived, and she was born before he could get back to feel her move inside her mother. He could barely even see the evidence of any pregnancy at all remaining on Bella, other than slightly fuller hips and face, and of course, her breasts. He was grateful for the technology that had allowed him to at least see her from a distance as his baby grew inside her, but he'd missed an entire pregnancy and the birth of his first child.

Bella noticed the distance increasing in Edward's eyes as he gazed at Bailey, seemingly getting lost in thought. Yet when he pinched them closed tightly and pressed his lips to her soft hair, Bella could see the torment raging through her husband. She allowed him to linger the kiss on the baby for a moment before running her hand along his shoulder. "Okay, time to say goodnight, Daddy."

Edward sighed softly as she lifted Bailey off the bed and walked her over to her crib, settling her down for the night and then turning to face him again.

"I have something for you," she whispered, bringing his attention back to her and smiling as she opened the closet door. She disappeared inside and he sat up with a bewildered expression on his face, until she emerged with the belly cast held in front of her. His eyes widened as they moved over the plaster mold before moving to meet hers. "It was Angela's idea. She said a lot of women do it while their husbands are deployed. Capture the moment, so to speak. And we barely got this done, because I was on my way to the hospital not even a half hour later."

"This was you?" Edward asked in an astonished voice, sliding down the bed further and reaching out hesitantly to touch it. He pressed his palm against the surface, closing his eyes and envisioning as he had attempted to countless times running his hand over her swollen middle. He could almost imagine feeling the baby moving beneath his touch, but it was too hard, too cold. She stepped closer to him but his eyes never opened until his fingers came to the distinct rise of a much smaller hand to the side. He covered it with his and rubbed his thumb across the fingertips. "Mikey."

"Yeah, he wanted to be involved. It was something special for his dad," Bella replied, watching Edward closely, trying to decipher the emotion there, but his face and eyes conveyed such a myriad of them, it was difficult to pinpoint. She wanted so badly to reconnect with him as a couple, to feel close to him again, as she had before he left. She had no doubt that he loved her just as much as she did him, but although they'd been married for ten months, she still felt the new bride jitters with him. It was so much different to think of him as her husband, sitting right there in front of her, than it was through the webcam or phone. It felt more real, more nerve-wracking, and in many ways, he felt like a stranger to her, despite having known him for years and even having a child with him—and she hated that. She despised the feeling of not being able to read him as a wife should, making her all the more anxious. "Do you like it?"

Edward brought his gaze to Bella, noting the tears rimming her eyes and the tight, nervous smile on her lips. He gently placed his hands on either side of the cast and lifted it from her grasp, setting it on top of his dresser before returning to sit beside her at the end of the bed. All day long, she'd appeared so strong and confident, but he quickly realized the reason behind that. Bella had been in her element with the kids, in "Mom mode". But now that the children were sound asleep, they were both thrust into territory that had been foreign to them for so long—time alone and undisturbed with each other.

_This is your wife,_ he thought to himself in a chastising manner. _Not everything you do needs to be so planned and calculated. Just touch her._

He reached his hand out to brush his fingers along her cheek and her eyes fluttered closed with the contact, subtly leaning into it. Just the small gesture made it clear that she'd yearned for him just as much as he'd ached for her, but each felt just as uncertain as the other how to reestablish the intimacy between them again. "I love it, Bella. It's absolutely amazing. And I love _you_."

The tears finally began to spill from Bella's eyes, bringing her hand up to cover his and hold it against her skin, pressing her lips to his palm. "Oh you have no idea how good it sounds to hear you say that again. When I can see you and feel you here with me. I love you so much."

Edward stroked her cheek gently with his thumb, slowly bringing his lips to lightly brush hers, to which she responded eagerly. They seemed to remember at the exact same moment that no matter how much they'd missed the physical closeness with each other, they needed to wait. She sighed and rested her forehead against his, her hands gripping his shoulders firmly.

"This is going to be a long two weeks," she whispered and he responded with a soft, but agreeing, chuckle. "But we have plenty of time, right?"

Edward pulled her closer to sit on his lap, kissing her again gently. "Plenty of time. And right now, I'd be just as happy to hold you just like this, in our bed, all night long. I've missed you, Bella."

"I've missed you, too," Bella murmured as he lifted her into his arms and carried her to the head of the bed. He laid her down and slid in beside her, engulfing her in his embrace and she contentedly snuggled against his chest. For the first time in months, she felt warm, safe, and complete. Edward was _home_. "So much."


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N:**** Sorry this took so long, but Armyward just wasn't talking to me at all until last week. And now I have the next chapter started, and it **_**might**_** actually be the last one. Not sure yet, since I thought this one might be too. But then it got away with me lol. **

**Thank you so much for reading and thank you Erica for being my ass-kicker when I need to get in gear :)**

* * *

**All I Want For Christmas 8**

"I'm thinking I should have thought this through a little more," Bella said, holding her breath through the final alteration on her wedding gown. She had hoped to have shed more of her baby weight before the reception that Angela had been planning, along with Mikey, for months. It had kept the little boy temporarily distracted while Edward was deployed, repeatedly reminding her that they'd promised him a wedding when he returned from Afghanistan. However, that was before the pregnancy with Bailey, the ten months apart, and the extra two week sex embargo following her husband's return home, which still had to hold out for another few days.

Edward had suggested that they wait until their second wedding night that Saturday, even though her doctor had cleared her that morning to "resume marital activities". She couldn't understand how or why he would want to wait, when she had seriously been restraining from ripping his clothes off every night and attacking him like a rabid animal.

It was coming up on eleven months since she'd felt that connection with him and she was parched for his touch again, but he seemed hesitant. Was it the length of time since they'd last made love? Was he nervous? Or was it her? Had she changed too much and he wasn't as physically attracted to her anymore and didn't want to hurt her feelings?

There was no doubt in Bella's mind that Edward loved his kids. His bond with Mikey was as strong as ever, even with the hints of the six year old's temper when Edward turned his attention to Bailey before he was ready to give up his dad time. And their daughter was the jewel of her daddy's world. He would lay down his life for either or both of them.

But with her, after that first night he was home, she noticed an awkwardness about him. She convinced herself that it was probably just a matter of him adjusting to being home and getting used to all the changes between them. She even allowed a sense of relief to flow through her over Christmas when Angela and Eric came over to celebrate with them and the kids. Edward had been more affectionate that day, with his arm around her on the couch as Mikey played Santa at the tree, handing out the presents. He'd given her a genuine smile and a soft kiss when he opened the gift from her and the kids—a dark wood plaque with a brass plate on the front that read "World's Best Daddy".

However, after their guests had left and the children were settled for the evening, she walked into their bedroom, wearing the gift she'd saved for that night—a black, thigh length satin nightgown. She knew they couldn't do much in the way of sexual activity, but she wanted to feel him touch her, to gaze at her with that same look of desire she'd kept stored in her mind through all those months he was away. The way he did before he left.

Bella crawled onto the bed in an attempt at being seductive, kissing up his bare chest to his lips and straddling his hips. His strong hands took hold of her waist and squeezed gently, parting their kiss and whispering that they "couldn't". She pleaded with him to just touch her, and even attempted to simply pleasure him, but he stopped her, insisting that it wouldn't be fair. And as if on cue, Bailey began to cry and he rose from the bed, escaping the room with her in his arms.

The tears of rejection welled in Bella's eyes at just the memory of that night, though she fought to hold them back.

"What are you talking about, Bella? You guys have been looking forward to this, haven't you?" Angela asked with a creased brow, taking a sip of her coffee.

"Yeah, I guess. I mean, I have. But I'd just hoped to look a little better for this, like I _should_ look for my wedding. Not as if I'm rushing down the aisle to save my dignity," Bella sighed heavily, her eyes lowering to the fabric billowing around her legs. "It's just … maybe I shouldn't have gone for something so form fitting. If he doesn't want me _now_, what's he going to feel after he sees _this_ coming toward him?"

Angela's eyes widened as Bella gestured her hands along her body and the tears began spilling down her cheeks. "Bella, stop. You're beautiful. I can think of at least a dozen women right off the top of my head that could only _pray _to look as good as you do after having two children. And that's not even including myself. Don't let the baby blues get to you. Edward loves you, and if Christmas was any indication, I don't think you have anything to worry about."

Bella wiped at the streams trailing down her face with Angela's statement. "I know he loves me, Ang. But you can love someone and not really _want_ them. He's a wonderful husband and an amazing father, I couldn't have asked for a better man. But everything else just hasn't been the same since he got back. More so than _anything_ I ever experienced with Michael. He looks at me different, _acts_ different, everything. I don't know what I was expecting, but it wasn't this."

"Bella, just give him time. Everything has moved so quickly with you guys this past year, and now you're his wife and the mother of his daughter. That's huge. Even without a baby, it still took Eric a little while to really get back to where we were before he left. You know as well as I do that each deployment leaves a different mark on them," Angela said comfortingly, reaching out to take hold of Bella's hand and giving it a gentle squeeze.

"I hope you're right. I don't know what I'd do if Edward never wanted me again," Bella said sadly, shaking her head. "It's not just the sex. It's …"

Angela nodded in understanding as Bella trailed off, as if she finally remembered that there was someone else in the room with them; the seamstress finishing up her dress. "I know, Bella. Trust me, everything will be okay."

Bella gave her a half smile, but remained silent through the remainder of the fitting, and through most of the lunch following. She _really_ hoped it was nothing more or less than her over-reacting.

**x-x-x**

"So, no strippers, right?" Bella attempted to joke as Edward was sliding on his jacket Friday night, getting ready to leave for his belated bachelor party.

He laughed and shook his head. "No, baby. No strippers. Even if I _was_ actually a 'bachelor', that kind of thing never really appealed to me anyway. It's just me and the guys, hanging out and having a few beers. Guy talk about our wives. Otherwise, just a regular Friday night."

Bella's eyebrows rose and she gently nudged his arm. "Talking about your wives, huh?"

"Mmm-hmm," Edward hummed, his teasing smirk growing. And while it was nice to see him more relaxed and joking with her, that was still that irrational tug inside her, pointing out that he looked happy, but he was also leaving.

"I still don't see the point of being separated until tomorrow. I mean, we're already married and all," she mumbled, running her fingers along the lapels of his jacket.

"Because it's traditional, and we are doing this as traditionally as possible, remember?" Edward replied gently, sliding his arms around her waist and kissing the tip of her nose.

"Yeah, Mom. Dad can't see you 'til tomorrow in your pretty dress. It's the _rules_!" Mikey interjected from behind her, where he sat on the couch, his tongue poking out the side of his mouth as he returned his concentration to his video game.

"See, the boss has spoken," Edward chuckled in amusement and then looked into her eyes again. "It's only one night, baby. And it will make him happy."

"Kinda defeats the purpose of 'beauty sleep', though. Since I won't be getting much," Bella grumbled, followed by a soft sigh when Edward's lips brushed hers gently.

"_One_ night, and then we have the rest of the weekend to ourselves," he whispered, resting his forehead against hers.

"I love you," she said softly with a hint of desperation in her voice as she clutched the fabric in her hands tightly.

"I love you, too, Bella," he replied, running his hands along her back. "I better go, I'm running late. I'll see you in the morning."

"Okay," she sighed, reluctantly releasing him and stepping back.

Edward said goodnight and kissed the top of Mikey's head, ran his hand gently over Bailey's hair where she slept in her bouncy, and then stepped out the door.

Bella watched from the window as Edward's car backed out and disappeared down the road, already missing him so much and dreading having to sleep in their bed that night, with his side vacant again. Already, she had gotten so used to having him there with her, and even one night without him beside her seemed like an eternity. "Okay, baby, time to turn off the game and get ready for bed. We have a big day tomorrow."

"But Mom, I'm almost done with this level!" Mikey protested with a slight whine.

"Your dad is going to need his best man well rested tomorrow. I'm sure you can finish it up at Grandma's tomorrow night," Bella replied, restraining a triumphant smile as her son quickly shut down the game console and ran off toward his room.

"Michael Evan, you forgot to turn off the television, too," Bella called after him and sighed, grabbing the remote off the table and powering it down.

"Sorry, Mom!" he replied from down the hall and Bella turned to find a not-so-sleeping-anymore Bailey gazing up at her from her spot, kicking her feet.

Lifting the baby into her arms, she carried her into the bedroom and laid her down in the crib, giving her a pacifier and praying that of all nights, she would choose that one to be lulled to sleep by it. She hummed quietly to her daughter, lightly stroking her forehead, but Bailey continued to gaze up at her with wide eyes. The eyes that were growing to look more and more like her father's every single day. That thought alone caused a twinge of loneliness to twist at Bella's heart, while trying to remind herself that it was just one night. She's survived a ten-month deployment and a pregnancy without him beside her, she was strong enough to manage _one night_.

"Mom?" Mikey's voice caught her attention from the doorway and she turned quickly to look at him.

"Yeah?" she replied, trying to compose herself as best she could.

"I was wondering. Why is Bailey in the wedding? I mean, she can't really _do_ anything. And what if she starts crying while you and Dad are getting married again?" Mikey asked, wrinkling his nose and tilting his head.

"Well, because we're a family, and your dad and I wanted to have both of you involved," Bella replied, sitting down on the edge of the bed and motioning for Mikey to join her. "Because you and your sister mean everything to us, and that's what a wedding is really about, right? Making memories with the people we love?"

"But she's a baby. She won't remember," he mumbled with a sigh, leaning into Bella's side as she lightly stroked his hair.

"No, but she'll see the pictures when she grows up, right? Like the pictures of you and Grandpa out on the lake when we went to visit when you were really little. You were too young to remember going, but you know you were there and you had fun with your grandpa," Bella tried to explain and Mikey nestled more into her. "And if Bailey starts crying, Angela will calm her down."

"No one can calm her down like Dad," Mikey sighed heavily and looked back to the bed. "I miss Dad."

"Do you want me to call and have him come back? It was your idea, you know," Bella teased lightly and Mikey shook his head, and she couldn't deny that she was a little disappointed.

"No, that's bad luck. He can't see you until the wedding," Mikey replied like a miniature Memorex, repeating Angela's words almost right down to the tone of her voice. "It's just weird not having him here to put me to bed tonight."

"Want me to put you to bed?" Bella asked, kissing his hair.

Mikey began shaking his head slowly and Bella steeled herself against the ache in her heart, until he looked up at her with large, sad eyes. "Can I stay here with you like when Dad was gone before?"

Bella fought against the tears in her eyes as she nodded, lifting him into her arms and carrying him to Edward's side of the bed. She laid him down and then quickly went to the bathroom to change, returning moments later to find Mikey nearly asleep, his face nestled into Edward's pillow. Once she slid beneath the covers next to him and turned out the light, his eyes opened a little and looked over at her.

"It smells like Dad," he mumbled, closing them again and wrapping his arms around the thick, bulky object and released a heavy sigh.

"I know it does, baby," Bella replied gently, stroking his hair until he drifted off to sleep and she followed soon thereafter.

**x-x-x**

Angela let herself into the house the next morning just after eight and was surprised to find the place completely silent—a very rare occurrence at that hour in the Cullen house. Bailey wasn't crying, Mikey didn't race to the door to greet her, and there was no sign of Bella making breakfast in the kitchen.

"Bella?" she called softly down the hallway, walking toward the bedroom and peeking inside the open door, smiling at the sight that met her.

Bella lay with Bailey between her and Mikey on the bed, all three of them sound asleep and curled together on what she knew was Edward's side. On any other day, she would have turned around and allowed them all to rest, but she knew if she didn't rouse them, they would be late, with all they had to do in order to get ready for the wedding.

Angela slowly walked toward the bed and gave Bella's arm a gentle shake.

Bella's eyes shot open and looked around before finally settling on the smiling woman standing over them. "Oh my god, what time is it? Did I oversleep?"

"No, we still have plenty of time. But I think you are one of the only brides I've ever met that has managed to sleep at all the night before her wedding," Angela replied with a chuckle.

Bella rubbed her face with both hands as she sat up, and then ran her fingers through her tangled hair. "Not much. Bailey woke up just before midnight and I couldn't get her settled down until I brought her to bed with us. Guess they both missed Daddy a bit."

Angela smiled as Bella nodded toward the kids, nestled together close to Edward's pillow. "Well, Eric called me just as I was pulling up and they are getting ready to go get their haircuts. So, why don't you go hop in the shower and I'll get the kids up and fed."

"Oh, you don't have to do that, I can feed them," Bella protested softly, reaching for Bailey, who was just beginning to stir.

"Bella, it's your wedding day. That's all you need to focus on," Angela replied, resting her hand on Bella's arm to stop her.

"I'll help Angela, Mom," Mikey mumbled into the pillow with his eyes still closed and both the women chuckled at how much he resembled Edward in that moment, even without any genetic predisposition. His hair was mussed from sleep, sticking up in random directions just as Edward's did when he'd gone a little too long between haircuts. His lips pursed grumpily as he nuzzled his face into the pillow, and he pulled the comforter over his head.

Bella shook her head, but her smile remained as she rose from the bed. "Okay, sleepyhead. But that means you actually have to get out of bed."

"Two more minutes," Mikey mumbled and the two women laughed again.

"Yup, that is Edward's influence right there, all right," Bella said with a dramatic sigh and she made her way across the hall to take her shower.

"Okay, come on, you two. Time to get ready to go see Dad," Angela said, lifting Bailey into her arms, and that was all it took to get Mikey to spring up from the bed and race for the kitchen.

_Oh, the magic of the word "Dad"_, Angela mused silently as she followed him.

**x-x-x**

As the water beat down on Bella's stiff muscles, she willed it to wash away her increasing jitters. It seemed so silly for her to be feeling that way; after all, they were already married. The day was simply a formality in order to keep the promise they'd made to Mikey, to have a "real wedding", as he called it.

But she also knew that it was so much more than that.

Bella wanted to be perfect that day. To see Edward waiting for her at the end of the aisle, gazing upon her as if she was the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen. To finally rid herself of the overbearing weight that had settled on her shoulders, that he might not be as attracted to her as he was before.

"Stop it, Bella. Just stop it!" she hissed to herself as she turned off the water and stepped out.

After toweling off and brushing her teeth—relieved to see that at least she didn't wake up to a huge pimple in the middle of her forehead—she wrapped her body in a thick, terrycloth robe and padded out to the kitchen. Mikey was just setting his cereal bowl in the sink and Bailey was squealing in her bouncy excitedly.

"Well, someone is happy this morning. What did you put into that bottle?" Bella joked as she approached Angela, who simply rolled her eyes with a smile.

"Mom, look! Dad sent you a present!" Mikey exclaimed, running toward her with a small, black box and a rose taped with the envelope of the accompanying card.

Angela shrugged when Bella's eyes met hers, a conspiratorial smirk on her face. "Okay, so I told a little white lie. Edward and Eric came back to our house last night, and I saw them right before I left this morning. That's payback for not letting me throw you a bachelorette party."

Bella shook her head with a laugh as she sat down, inhaling the soft fragrant scent of the flower before pulling out the card. It was simple and beautiful, with white roses covering the front and the elegant script at the top that read "For our wedding day." She opened it, expecting to find some poem and a "Love, Edward" at the bottom, but instead found only his handwriting on the otherwise blank inside.

_To my beautiful wife,_

_I'm sure that once I see you today, words will escape me, as you know I am never good with them anyway in your presence. So I will say them now._

_I'm a very fortunate man that I've already been able to marry you once, but I am also one of the truly blessed that is lucky enough to have the chance to do it twice. And I want to thank you for everything you've done for me. For loving me, waiting for me, and giving me the family I never knew I wanted so much._

_This is just a small token of how much you mean to me, and even though it's impossible for you to be any more beautiful in my eyes than you already are, I thought you might like to wear this today._

_I'm counting down the minutes until I see you again at the altar. I love you._

_Love Always,_

_Edward_

Bella's tears were streaming down her cheeks as she folded the card closed and took the box in her hand, staring at it silently for a moment. The hinge groaned a little as she cracked it open, gasping softly at the pair of silver earrings with small teardrop diamonds dangling below.

"Oh my God, Edward," she whispered with her free hand covering her lips.

"Mom, you're not supposed to be sad today," Mikey said worriedly, resting his tiny hand on her shoulder.

"I'm not sad, baby. Just very surprised and happy," Bella replied, looking over to the little boy and kissing his forehead.

"Grownups are so weird," Mikey mumbled with a shake of his head.

"Good thing I didn't wait until after we got your makeup done," Angela teased, setting a cup of coffee in front of Bella. "Since I know you're not going to want to eat, even though you _really_ should."

Bella shook her head. "Not a chance. My stomach is already in knots and it probably wouldn't stay there.

Angela hugged around Bella's shoulders and rested her cheek on the top of her head. "Everything will be fine and absolutely perfect. Leave the worrying to me."

**x-x-x**

Bella repeatedly smoothed her hand over her skirt throughout the entire ride to the reception hall, trying to calm her erratic breaths. When the long, white limousine pulled up in front of the house as they were preparing to leave, she found it difficult to keep her feet moving out the door.

"_This was all Edward," Angela whispered as she took Bella's hand to lead her to where the chauffer stood with the door open for her. "Said he didn't want you to have to cram into my little car and worry about wrinkling your dress."_

_Bella's heart began to beat more insistently with the mention of Edward's name and the thoughtfulness behind the gesture. She was literally rendered speechless._

"_Whoa! I wanna ride with Mom!" Mikey exclaimed, racing toward the car and jumping inside._

"_Mikey! Be careful that you don't scuff your shoes!" Angela called out and then looked to Bella. "We'll be right behind you."_

_Bella nodded and glanced down at her daughter, fast asleep in her carseat. "Okay, see you there."_

Her nerves began bundling up inside her again as the car pulled to a stop and the door opened, the chauffer offering his hand to her. With a deep breath, she muttered a soft "You can do this" and stepped out.

**x-x-x**

Edward cleared his throat for what had to be the millionth time all morning, tugging needlessly at the hem of his uniform to straighten it. He felt so foolish, being nervous in the slightest. Wasn't that the bride's job? But he couldn't help himself.

He was anxious to see Bella coming toward him with the smile that had kept him going even through the toughest times during his deployment. He couldn't imagine her looking more beautiful than she had the day they vowed themselves to each other the first time, but he was fairly certain she'd absolutely blow him away when he finally say her.

Edward had missed her terribly the night before, tossing and turning on Angela and Eric's couch for hours just waiting for the morning to arrive. He hated being away from her and the kids, especially after relishing in every moment he could since he'd been home. Everything was too still and quiet in the Yorkie house, and even if he wasn't a battle worn soldier, the silence would have been extremely unsettling.

Yet, more than that, he was nervous about what the evening would hold for him and Bella once they were finally alone. Aside from their obvious limitation in the two weeks following his return, he was taken aback slightly by how simple resuming the physical intimacy with Bella was _not_. He wanted her; heaven knew he did. And she wanted him just as badly, that much was obvious. So why did he feel like some virgin teenage boy at his high school prom, sweating under the collar whenever he thought about the hotel room he'd rented for the night. Bella was his _wife_ and they'd done it before—they had a _child_ together, for crying out loud.

So what exactly was the problem?

Edward was thankfully pulled from his thoughts as the soft sounds of the harp beside them echoed through the air and his attention was drawn down the aisle. A smile tugged at his lips with the sight of Mikey in his little suit, pushing his little sister in an old-fashioned stroller decorated with flowers, as a chorus of quiet "Awwws" surrounded them.

He couldn't help but smile, watching his kids coming toward him and the fierce concentration on Mikey's face. The little boy's eyes met his and he gave him a wink and a nod of encouragement. Mikey's shoulder's visibly relaxed as he came to a stop at the end of the aisle, and his grin was unmistakable.

Edward stood up straighter as Angela followed next, the anticipation of seeing his beautiful bride causing his heart to pound rapidly against the walls of his chest. And when Bella finally appeared around the corner on her father's arm, the world seemed to cease turning on its axis. Everything else disappeared in that moment as their gazes met, and they both began to smile as their eyes took in the other.

She was more stunning than even his most vivid imaginings. The dress was amazing, fitting her form perfectly and giving her the appearance of floating down the aisle. Her hair fell over her shoulders with the sides pinned back with her veil, keeping the view of her face unobstructed. The earrings he'd gifted her glistened in the soft light from above, as well as her wedding right dangling from a chain around her neck. But what held his attention the most was her stunning brown eyes, never leaving his until she stood before him and her hand was set in his by her father. A subtle hum of approval echoed from her chest as she took in the sight of him in his uniform, and he fought the urge to kiss her right then and there. She seemed to mirror his desire as a shuddering breath left her and she gave his hand a gentle squeeze before they took the final steps together to stand in front of the minister.

Edward could hear the words being spoken, but they weren't entirely registering as he gazed at her standing beside him. Once again, he couldn't believe how incredibly lucky he was, to have this amazing woman and the happiness with her that he never thought he would ever feel. The simple vows were exchanged effortlessly, even with the tears welling in her eyes, and he smiled as he slid her new wedding band onto her finger, and she followed suit with her soft whisper of the classic "With this ring, I thee wed."

"By the power vested in me, I pronounce you husband and wife. Again," the minister said with an amused smirk, and they both chuckled as Edward took a step closer to Bella, resting his hands on either side of her waist. "You may kiss your beautiful bride."

Edward's arms slid around her and pulled her gently against him, lowering his lips to hers amidst the applause surrounding them. Yet, the only thing he could focus on was the warmth radiating through him with her kiss and the feel of her hands on his shoulders, as if it was their first time all over again. He rested his forehead on hers with closed eyes as the exiting music began to play, still not ready to release her yet.

"I love you," he murmured, his hands moving to her waist again.

"I love you, too," she replied just as softly and their gazes met, smiles widening.

"Um, Mom? Dad? We have to go back down now," Mikey whispered beside them and they looked down to him. "Bailey's not looking too happy."

Bella nodded to him and he began pushing the stroller back down the aisle as she slid her arm around Edward's waist. The first stuttering cry of the baby sounded as they reached the halfway point and they hastened their steps until they were finally in the hallway.

"Well, she made it through most of the ceremony, didn't you, princess," Edward cooed at his daughter, releasing his hold on Bella to lift Bailey into his arms.

"I even had a talk with her before we left! I begged her not to cry!" Mikey huffed, crossing his arms over his chest, causing both his parents to laugh in response.

**x-x-x**

Bella's eyes never left her husband throughout the reception, as he cradled Bailey in his arms nearly the entire time. He'd only set her down long enough to share the first dance with his wife and to cut the cake. She loved watching him with their daughter, already wrapped so tightly around her little finger, it was heartwarming. And she couldn't resist the temptation to grab one of the cameras from the closest table and snapping a picture of him with their little girl nestled against his chest and Mikey situated on his other leg, both children sound asleep as the party began winding down.

"It's been a long day for them," she said quietly as she settled into the chair beside them, her hand running over Mikey's hair.

"Yeah," Edward replied, gently kissing the top of each of their heads. "It's going to be weird, being away from them for another night."

Bella's heart both swelled and ached at his tone, and the way his embrace secured around each of them. She knew it was difficult for him to be separated from the kids, especially after only just coming home and reconnecting with Mikey, and having the opportunity to bond with Bailey. She shared that same tug inside her at the thought of not having them around for even one night, and it was the first time she'd be away from their baby since the day she was born. She loved her children more than anything, yet she'd also hoped that he would want that same time with her that night, as she did with him. And all those unwanted feelings began coursing through her again for the first time since that morning.

"Honey, we can postpone tonight for a while, it's okay," she said softly, trying to mask the disappointment lingering there as her fingers rose to trace along Edward's shoulder. "If you're not ready to be away from them yet."

"No, Bella. It's our wedding night. _This_ is never going to get any easier, either," he replied, nodding down to the kids and then looked over to her. "And I've missed _you_, too, you know."

Bella gave him a gentle smile and leaned toward him to brush his lips with hers. Their moment was interrupted by a soft clearing of a throat and they looked up to find Angela standing in front of them.

"The reception is winding down. So why don't I take them home and you guys can make your rounds before you leave?" Angela whispered, gesturing her hand toward the children.

Edward sighed and nodded, gently shaking Mikey to wake him. "Hey, buddy. It's time to go."

"I don't wanna," he mumbled sleepily into Edward's jacket, snuggling into him more.

"It's not for long, little man. Your mom and I will be back tomorrow night, I promise," Edward whispered into his hair and placed a soft kiss there.

Mikey rubbed his eye with his hand and hesitantly slid off Edward's lap, turning toward his mother. "I'm gonna miss you, Mommy."

"Oh, baby. I'm going to miss you, too," Bella replied softly, biting her lip in an attempt to restrain her tears as she pulled him into her arms.

As soon as Angela took Bailey from Edward after his last kiss to his daughter's forehead, he lifted Mikey off the ground and hugged him tightly. "I love you, little man."

"Love you, too, Dad," Mikey mumbled into Edward's collar, gripping him firmly. "I wish I could go with you."

"I know, buddy. Your mom and I just need one night, just the two of us," Edward replied, kissing his hair before setting him back down on the floor.

Bella stood and wrapped her arms around Edward's waist as they watched Angela walk away with the kids. He held her securely around the shoulders until they were all out of sight, and then looked up at her husband. "You ready?"

Edward took a deep breath and nodded, his eyes meeting hers. "Yeah. I'm ready."


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: And now, I hit complete on another story. As much as I would love to hold onto each character in this story, probably most especially little Mikey, their story has been told. This was honestly just meant to be a singular one-shot, but as so often happens, certain characters wouldn't stop talking (again, namely Mikey lol). I hope you have all enjoyed this, and while I don't foresee any outtakes or futuretakes on this story at all, who knows what the future will hold. But for now, I am going to try concentrating on my other fics and such. **

**Thank you all for reading. Take care!**

* * *

**All I Want For Christmas 9**

After making their rounds of the room, finishing off with a conversation with Bella's father—giving him the "dad's warning" to take good care of his little girl and grandbabies—they finally walked outside hand-in-hand, and stepped into the waiting limo.

"I still can't believe you did this," Bella said with a smile once the door closed behind them.

"Was it too much?" Edward asked nervously, his eyes flickering as he looked at her.

Bella snuggled into his side and kissed him gently, feeling his body relax minimally in response. "Not at all. It was very thoughtful and sweet. Thank you."

"You're welcome," he replied with a soft smile, ghosting his lips over hers again.

Bella's hand rested on his cheek and pressed her mouth more firmly to his, her body buzzing with nervousness and anticipation. She wanted him closer and cursed the long skirt tangling around her legs as she attempted to drape one over his.

"Baby, let's just wait until we get to the room, okay?" Edward murmured against her lips with a hard swallow, his shoulders tensing as hers fell slightly. "Bella, are you all right?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," Bella whispered in response as she settled back into the seat beside him with a sigh. "It's just been so long since we've been _really_ alone, that's all. Guess I'm just a little anxious."

"I'd just prefer to be really, _really_ alone first," Edward replied as he secured a hold on her waist and she felt his lips press to her hair. "But I'm anxious, too, sweetheart."

"You are?" Bella asked with her eyes still lowered until his hand came to her chin, lifting her gaze to his.

"Of course, I am. Why wouldn't I be?" he inquired, the crease of worry deepening in his forehead.

"I don't know. It's just … I guess it's just that I know this isn't exactly what you left behind," she replied, lowering her head again and gesturing to her body with her hand as she felt her skin heat with embarrassment. "And I'm nervous that you might not like what you see tonight, or that maybe _you_ are."

"Oh God, Bella," he sighed, wrapping both his arms around her and pulling her gently to his chest. "Is _that _why you've been acting this way? You think I don't _want _you anymore?"

Bella only shrugged in response, burying her face into him and he felt like such an idiot. It was their wedding day, and he'd hurt her without ever intending on it. He'd _been_ hurting her. And needlessly, at that.

"Baby, look at me," Edward whispered, his chest aching as he felt her trembling in his arms before she hesitantly lifted her head again to meet his eyes. "_Nothing_ could make me not want you anymore. A dozen babies couldn't change that. If possible, you're even more beautiful today than the day I left."

Bella felt a tear slip down her cheek as he gently kissed her, stroking her face lightly with his fingertips to brush it away. "Then why haven't you wanted to … well, _anything_."

"Oh, I _wanted_ to, Bella. A little _too_ much, in fact. It's one of the few things I could think about all the way home," Edward whispered, resting his forehead on hers. "It took everything in me to stop that first night."

"And since then?" Bella asked softly.

Edward thought deeply over the previous weeks, still trying to figure out himself what had been holding him back from her, and the words just began pouring out of him. "Everything at home was just so different, and a lot to adjust to. And I think, even kissing you was too much at times. I know how to be disciplined in my career, but with you, it's different. What if I lost my restraint, and ended up hurting you. You just had a baby. I would never forgive myself. And then, Bailey could have woken up at any time, and what if she did and saw us … doing things."

Bella's eyes widened as she gazed up at him. "Edward, first of all, you are the most gentle man I've ever met in my life, and have more restraint than even _I_ do. I don't think you could _ever_ hurt me."

"It's been almost a year since I've had sex, Bella. That's a _lot_ of built up tension," Edward replied, chuckling uncomfortably as his eyes closed.

"And how long had it been for you before we were together for the first time?" Bella asked teasingly, her fingers tracing along the back of his neck.

He gazed at her sarcastically and rolled his eyes, but an unmistakable smile touched his lips. "I also didn't have a wife waiting at home for me, either. There was nothing for me to really miss before you."

"I love you," Bella whispered, for lack of anything else coming to mind for her to say in response to that. Her heart was racing and the tears of relief burned behind her lids as she pressed a kiss to his lips. "And as for Bailey, she's a baby, honey. I doubt we'd do anything to permanently scar her, anyway."

"I guess I just wanted to be truly alone with you, with no worries. Make tonight special," Edward said softly, his hand running along her side. "Being our wedding night and all."

Bella's mouth twitched with a smile and sealed her lips gently to his, finally seeing the man she fell in love with gradually reemerging. Everything from the awkwardness about being intimate in front of their baby to the sweet itinerary behind his actions, even if he wasn't completely conscious of it at the time. "I'm pretty sure it would have been special anyway."

The limo pulled to a stop in front of the hotel and they separated from their embrace just as the door opened. Edward stepped out first and held his hand out for Bella, who followed as quickly as she could manage without tripping on her dress. He tipped the chauffer and received a keycard in exchange, along with the assurance that all of their things had already been brought to their room.

The butterflies fluttered wildly inside Bella as she held firmly to Edward's hand, feeling the eyes upon them as they moved through the lobby, with her in her wedding gown and him still in his full uniform. Edward stopped suddenly, palming her cheek and lowering his lips to hers in a sound kiss. There were hushed chuckles surrounding them as they parted and he wrapped his arm around his literally blushing bride before guiding her toward the elevator amidst soft smiles and congratulations.

Bella laughed as they reached their room and he swept her into his arms to carry her into the room, silenced from speaking by his lips once again. She sighed against him as he set her feet back down on the floor, and reached back to swing the door closed, and then wrapped his arms back around her waist. Her husband was _really_ back; no more fear or reservations between them, she hoped. He traced her lower lip with his tongue and her arms tightened around his shoulders as she felt it meet hers in a relaxed, but sensual movement.

Edward pulled back slowly, brushing several soft kisses against her lips and cheeks before opening his eyes to look at her. "I have something for you."

"Baby, you've done enough. Between the earrings and the limo," she replied as he turned her in his arms and she released a soft gasp as she took in the sight in front of her. The honeymoon suite surrounding her was more than she could have ever imagined; the faux fire crackling in the fireplace, the bottle of champagne nestled in the elegant ice bucket and accompanying crystal flutes on the small intimate breakfast table. The deep red drapes contrasted with the plush, cream carpet and matched the thick duvet covering the massive, king-sized bed along the far wall, scattered with white rose petals. "And, oh my God, this room."

Edward chuckled as his lips brushed against her neck as his arms encircled her middle, embracing her. "I can only take credit for the rose petals. The rest was a wedding present. And that wasn't it anyway."

With one more kiss to her cheek, he released her and took her hand, leading her toward the bed. Bella gazed up at him as he motioned for her to sit down and lowered herself to the edge of the bed, until her eyes followed him as he took a deep breath and knelt down at her feet. "Baby, I hope you realize exactly how much you mean to me, and how much I truly love you. I don't know where I'd be right now if I didn't have you and the kids to come home to, or how I ever thought that my life was complete without that. And I'm sorry that I didn't get a chance to do this sooner."

Bella watched through tear-filled eyes as Edward reached into his jacket pocket, pulling out a small, black velvet box and setting it in her palm. Her smile grew as she opened it to find a beautiful sapphire and diamond ring inside, the five stones arranged in an alternating order along the band.

"Every woman deserves one of these from her husband," Edward said as Bella remained speechless, and both their eyes followed the path of his hand, taking the ring and sliding it onto her finger to join her wedding ring.

Bella choked out a soft cry, bringing his attention to her face with a worried expression marring his. Before he could allow himself to think too much on it, she took his face between her hands and brushed a soft kiss on his lips. "It's beautiful, Edward. You didn't have to do that, but thank you."

Edward rose to his feet, lifting her to stand with him and reaching his hand behind her head, pulling the comb loose from her hair. Once he'd set it on the bedside table, his fingers returned to her soft strands as they cascaded over her shoulders and her skin tingled at his gentle touch. "_You're_ beautiful. And you deserve so much more than this."

"I'm more than happy with what I've got," she whispered, framing his face with her hands and lifting onto her toes to capture his lips. Her kiss was gentle, with the trace of desperation behind it as her fingers lowered to the buttons of his coat. One by one, she unfastened them and moaned at the satisfying thump of the fabric hitting the floor when she pushed it over his shoulders and down his arms.

Edward felt her arms tighten around him as his hands moved behind her to slowly unhook each of the tiny clasps down the back of her dress he'd been eyeing all evening. As amazing as she looked in that dress, he'd been waiting a long time for that moment. To be able to touch her, feel her skin against his, and cherish the body he loved and had given him so much. He kissed along her neck toward her as he reached the last clasp and she ran her hands over his shoulders.

"I'll be right back," Bella whispered as she brushed his lips against his jaw, chuckling when he groaned and squeezed her hips gently. "Just a couple of minutes."

Edward reluctantly released her and she stepped back, grabbing her overnight back and retreating to the bathroom. "Hurry back."

Bella smiled back at him before closing the door and then released a heavy breath as she set her back on the counter and looked at herself in the mirror. The tear tracks from earlier streaked down her face and she shook her head. _This won't do at all,_ she thought to herself stepped out of her shoes and slid out of her dress, hanging it up on the back of the door.

Grabbing one of the facecloths, she quickly removed all traces of makeup from her skin and then combed through her hair. She briskly brushed her teeth and dabbed a little perfume on each of her pulse points, her hands trembling the entire time.

"This is stupid. He's your _husband_," Bella chastised herself in a whisper, finally reaching back to unclasp her bra and sliding it off. She held up the lacy white nightgown in front of her, staring at it for a moment before slipping it over her head and watching in the mirror as it cascaded down over her curves.

"Bella?" she heard Edward call out softly from the next room and she dragged her teeth over her lip, swallowing hard to compose herself.

"Coming," she replied shakily, taking one last look in the mirror and opening the door to reenter the bedroom. Her eyes landed on her husband and a shiver ran through her.

Edward was sitting on the bed with only his pants remaining on his body, his long legs stretched out as he rested back against the headboard. Her eyes ran appreciatively over the contoured muscles of his chest, shoulders, and arms, and she blew out a breath.

_This remarkably sexy man really is all mine, forever, _she mused with a smile as she crossed the room, crawling onto the bed beside him and running her fingers over that chest, down to his abdomen.

"What's that smile for, Mrs. Cullen?" Edward murmured in a teasing tone as his arm wrapped around her.

"Just admiring my perfect, half-naked husband, Mr. Cullen," Bella replied with a smirk, sliding her body over his to straddle his hips and leaning down to capture his lips with hers. "And wishing he was _fully_ naked."

"No need to rush tonight, baby," Edward whispered, running his hands over the bare skin of her back not covered by fabric. "I'm not going anywhere."

Bella moaned softly, rolling her hips over him and pressing her body down against his chest. No rush, no impending deployment, nothing but enjoying every moment they had with each other. She would wake up in the morning wrapped in the arms of the man she loved, and not have to leave them until she was ready. And that was nearly as arousing of a thought as what was about to transpire between them.

Edward took her hands with his and entwined their fingers together, guiding her to sit up over him to look at her fully. His gaze ran from her slender neck to the swells of her breasts, down to her waist and the curves of her hips, and settling on her smooth thighs for a prolonged moment. She shifted slightly under his silent appraisal, eager for him to say something. Anything. And it wasn't long before she was granted just that. "God, you are so damn sexy. I really am such a lucky man."

Bella sighed in contentment with the husky tone of his voice, full of desire and arousal, and any remaining reservations all but completely disappeared. He sat up in front of her, releasing her hands and sliding his arms around her. Their lips met again and he pulled her more firmly against him, and she moaned at the feel of him pressing between her legs. "Please, I want you."

Edward responded by sliding the thin straps of her nightgown off her shoulders, allowing the fabric to slide down her body and settle around her waist. He ghosted kisses over her collarbone and breasts before pulling back to lift the garment over her head and tossing it to the floor. She let her head fall back at the feel of his calloused fingertips running over her skin, her hands gripping his shoulders for support.

Bella shrieked in surprise as he gripped her waist, flipping her onto her back, and laughed as he settled back on top of her with a wicked smirk before sealing her lips with his. All too soon, they parted as he kissed down her body, pausing for a moment at her abdomen before continuing his path. She held her breath and closed her eyes while he slid her panties off her legs, knowing that she was about to be completely bared to him for the first time in eleven long months.

When he didn't immediately return to her, she slowly opened her eyes again to find his darkened gaze running over her again.

"God," he breathed out heavily, but said nothing else.

"Your turn," Bella whispered, rising to kneel in front of him and tugging at the waist of his pants before her fingers began working the buckle of his belt, followed by the button and zipper. She listened to the ragged sounds of his breaths as she slid both them and his boxers over his hips and down his legs, unable to wait much longer. Her fingers barely made contact with his hardened length and his body stiffened, lowering her to lie back down on the bed and settling above her again.

"I don't want this over before it even starts, baby," Edward said in a gruff voice, resting his forehead against hers with labored breaths.

"I'm not worried, Edward. I just want to feel you," she whispered, running her nails lightly over the back of his neck.

Edward's lips returned to hers as he slowly pressed inside her and simultaneous moans escaped them both. He stilled over her and she wrapped her legs around his, relishing in the feel of being connected with him again that way. Their kiss deepened into slow, sensual movements together before he pulled his hips back and surged forward again with a soft groan.

Bella hummed against him, flattening her palms on his shoulder blades and arching her body toward him. "Oh damn, I've missed you so much."

"I've missed you, too, Bella. More than I could ever tell you," he mumbled against her lips, gliding his hand from her hip to her knee and lifting it to his side to deepen his thrusts. "Shit, it's been too long, baby."

Bella slid her hands around his shoulders, rolling them over and lowering onto him again, gently taking hold of his face and kissing him. "It's okay. No rush or time limits this time, remember?"

Edward grasped her waist, gently guiding her as she rolled her hips over him. His panting breaths ghosted over her lips and face and sent a tremor through her body, the sensations of his touch and their motions overwhelming her.

Bella whimpered as she began to tense, the flush of warmth radiating through her entire body and her movements quickening. "I'm so close, baby."

"So am I," Edward grunted deeply, his breath frozen in his throat as his fingers dug into the skin of her hips.

The slight pinch was just enough to spur her climax and her muscles clenched around him as her head fell back with a gasp. She heard him moan loudly as he joined her a moment later, his hips jerking frantically up to hers. Bella's entire body was trembling, her thighs squeezing him until she shakily collapsed on top of him and rested her head on his shoulder. She never wanted to leave that moment; his arms wrapped around her as their chests rose and fell in a perfectly synchronized rhythm, the feel of the dampened skin of his neck on her lips with each brush against it.

Edward's whispered words of his love for her as he kissed her forehead brought fresh tears to her eyes and she nuzzled her nose along his jaw and then pressed her lips against it. "You okay, Bella?"

"Perfect. Absolutely perfect," she whispered, finally lifting her head to look down at the gorgeous face of her husband. "Was it as good as you remembered?"

"Better. Well worth the wait," he replied softly, brushing her hair back from her face and tucking it behind her ear. "You?"

Bella smiled and sighed contentedly. "There are no words. But I think I know what our first order of business needs to be once we get home?"

"What's that?" Edward asked, his brow creasing with her tone.

"I think we need to look into a crib for Mikey's room," Bella replied, kissing him gently.

Edward's eyes widened in surprise. "What if she wakes up in the middle of the night?"

"That's why we have baby monitors, honey," she whispered, tracing her fingers along his face. "I love our kids and being a mom. But as a wife, I don't think I could go another year without making love to my husband again. Even if I'm nowhere _near_ done with you tonight."

Before Edward could respond, Bella began slithering down his body, pressing soft kisses to his chest and stomach before wrapping her fingers around his hardening length.

"Jesus, Bella!" he gasped, tightening his fists at his sides with his eyes squeezed shut and moaning in pleasure as she took him into her mouth.

**x-x-x**

It was nearly daybreak when Bella finally curled into her husband's side. She was completely exhausted from their night of lovemaking and enjoying each other, and was asleep against his chest almost immediately.

Edward, on the other hand, was far too captivated by the woman at his side for sleep to even attempt to claim him. He wanted to take the opportunity in their rare, peaceful surroundings to watch the sunrise illuminate her face and the path of his fingers running though her hair while her eyelashes fluttered softly in her sleep. He pondered for what had to be the millionth time since he first saw her face staring back at him on that tarmac. From the moment he stepped off the plane, he couldn't believe how drastically different his life was from the year previous. He was actually happy, for the first time in as long as he could remember. He had an amazing, beautiful wife, who had undeniably given him more love and support than he'd ever known. He had an incredible little boy looking up to him and calling him Dad, and a tiny baby girl that he still couldn't believe he'd had part in creating. His life was almost frighteningly close to perfect.

He had a home, a family—everything to fight and live for.

"I love you so much, Bella," Edward whispered against her hair and pressed a gentle kiss there, trying hard not to wake her. "Thank you."

**x-x-x**

The next day, Edward and Bella anxiously made their way to Angela and Eric's house. Despite their amazing night—and late morning and early afternoon—the ache to be back with their children was strong.

Edward smiled as he thought back over the previous two weeks since he'd been home, recalling all the little instances of watching the kids bond together. Even though Mikey was still so stubborn about admitting that he actually liked having a little sister, Edward was gradually seeing more cracks in his façade as time passed. The way he would try to hide his smile when he would warn him about his sister's affinity for grabbing hair and ears, while rubbing his own. Edward had honestly thought she was too little to be able to do that, until he leaned a little too close one day to kiss her cheek, and felt the tight pinch of her fist on his earlobe. And of course, got the subsequent "told ya so, Dad" from Mikey.

It was little times like that, that made both of them miss their kids so much, that even if they'd planned to be gone longer, it wasn't something that appealed to them at all. And as they pulled into the driveway of the house, it was obvious that they weren't the only ones who felt that way.

Mikey sat on the front steps, bundled in his thick coat and his backpack sitting beside his legs, waiting for them. He looked up at the sound of the crunching gravel and raced toward the car before Edward even had the chance to shut off the engine. "Mom! Dad!"

Bella smiled widely as she stepped out of the car, catching her little boy up into her arms the instant he reached her. "Oh, baby, we missed you so much!"

Mikey hugged his arms tightly around her neck, crying softly against her before looking over to Edward and leaning toward him. He grabbed onto the man's shoulders and clung to him as soon as he was in his hold.

Angela gave them a sad smile as she walked toward them, carrying Bailey in her carseat in one arm and their bags in the other. "He had some bad dreams last night."

Edward gently kissed Mikey's temple as his embrace secure more around him. "About what, buddy?"

Mikey only shook his head violently, burying his face into Edward's shoulder and soaking the fabric of his shirt with his tears.

Bella's heart constricted at the sight and then shared an understanding glance with Angela, almost certain what the nightmares had been about, with the way he held to Edward. "Thank you for watching them last night, Angela."

"Anytime," Angela replied as she set Bailey in the car along with the bags, and then stood again to press a kiss to Mikey's hair. "They were both perfect angels."

Edward turned to put the little boy in the back seat with his sister, but Mikey was hesitant to release his hold around his neck. "Hey, little man. We have to get you buckled in so we can go home."

A soft sob escaped Mikey but he slowly loosened his arms and allowed Edward to secure the seatbelt around him. His eyes stayed lowered to his lap as he heard the muffled voices through the closed doors, of his parent's thanking and saying goodbye to Angela. He continued to remain silent through the three minute drive back to their house, and immediately ran up the front walk upon their arrival.

Edward and Bella looked on helplessly as Mikey charged through the house to his bedroom the instant the front door was open, and glanced at each other. "I've got him while you put her down for her nap?"

Bella nodded to him as she lifted Bailey from the carseat, watching him place a lingering kiss on the baby's forehead and one more to her own lips, before turning and making his way to Mikey's room.

Edward knocked lightly on the bedroom door, opening it slowly when he received no response after a few moments and finding Mikey curled under his blankets on the bed. He lowered himself to sit beside him on the mattress, running his hand over his hair where it peeked out from beneath the comforter.

"I tried to be good, Dad. I really did," Mikey's garbled voice sounded from his hiding place, the outline of his body under the fabric curling into a tight ball.

"Mikey, it's okay to have nightmares. Everyone does once in a while," Edward replied softly in an attempt to comfort the little boy. "You want to talk about it?"

Mikey didn't answer right away, but then finally lowered the blanket and lifted his tearstained face to look at Edward. "You died and Mommy didn't come back for us. And we were all alone and I was so scared. I don't want you to die, Dad."

Edward held his arms out for Mikey to climb into, which he did so slowly, curling into his dad's lap and nestling against his chest. He embraced the child securely, pressing his lips to the top of his head.

Maybe leaving the kids alone so soon after returning home was _too_ soon, even if only for one night, he thought as he rocked Mikey back and forth in his arms with his eyes closed. Even with as much as he needed to reconnect with his wife, he knew this past deployment had hit the little boy hard. He felt he had just gotten the dad he wanted so badly, and then he was taken away. All those months were spent wondering and worrying whether he was ever coming back, and when he finally did, he had to share his dad with a new little sister. They hadn't even really gotten into a solid pattern of functioning as a family, and while Bailey was still too young to understand, Mikey had shown every sign the night before that he wasn't ready to be separated from them yet.

"Don't worry, Mikey. Your dad's not going _anywhere_ for quite a while," Bella said softly from the doorway, walking across the room to sit on the other side of Edward and running her thumb over her son's damp cheek. "And you're never getting rid of me, baby."

Mikey's lip trembled as he lifted his eyes to look between his parents. "But I ruined your honeymoon."

"No, you didn't, buddy. Your mom and I were just as eager to come home as you were to have us here," Edward replied, resting his forehead against the little boy's.

"You were?" Mikey asked quizzically, tilting his head slightly as he gazed at them and lifting up onto his knees on Edward's lap. Cupping his dad's ear with his hand, he whispered, "I don't think you did it right then, Dad."

Edward chuckled, hugging Mikey securely to him and Bella to his side. "Maybe not. But I'll figure it out someday."

"I think we should all change into our pajamas," Bella began, bringing both male's attention to her. "And go cuddle up on Mom and Dad's bed for a special movie night, what do you think?"

"Can we watch Despicable Me?" Mikey asked, his voice sounding a little more hopeful.

Bella took a deep breath, fighting the instinct to cringe, but smiled at Mikey. "Only if you're washed up, in your jammies and on the bed in five minutes."

"Okay!" Mikey replied, wiggling off Edward's lap and rushing to his dresser.

Bella took her husband's hand and led him out into the hall, and once they were out of earshot, he leaned toward her, whispering, "Are we going to survive this?"

She laughed and squeezed his hand, turning to face him and kissing him gently. "If I survived it every single night for about six months straight—while pregnant and moody, mind you—I think we just might. And for the record?" she paused, sliding her arms around him. "You did _everything_ right."

Edward's eyes widened as her lips pressed more firmly against his, but her hand slid down and squeezed his ass. "You're dirty."

Bella smirked with a wink and released him, walking out to the kitchen to pop the popcorn.

**x-x-x**

Less than a half an hour into the movie, Edward sat on the bed with his wife and children, and he was the only one still awake. Bella had drifted off on his shoulder, while Mikey was snuggled against his side, and Bailey was on top of him, nestled against his chest. Everything that mattered to him was right there in his arms, and that was exactly where he wanted to spend his time home, however long he was granted.

With his family, building strong foundations for them as a singular unit. To take Mikey on fishing and camping trips, and be there for as many of Bailey's milestones as he could. And to love the woman beside him with everything he had for as long as they were given. Maybe even have another baby someday, and be there to watch his child take its first breath.

Whatever the future held, he knew he was not the same man he was the year before, nor would he ever opt to be, if given the choice. Each of their lives had changed so much in the past twelve months, but in every way, it was better, fuller.

And all from one little boy's Christmas wish.


End file.
